First off, I want to give big ups to everyone who is participating in our Kickass Contest. We can’t wait to see all of the perspectives. This is what the blogosphere is all about, people. The fact that we can put single mothers, pickup artists, and late 20’s virgins in the same space is awesome. And $25 Borders gift cards.
Okay, I’m on the road for work and wanted to pump out a quick post. There’s a great thread on Evan Marc Katz’s blog, which you can find here, entitled, “Should Women Ask Men Out On First Dates?”
EMK says no, and the gist of the post is a) women should send the signals and put themselves in a position to be asked out, then b) men need to pull the trigger. If it goes the other way, it messes up the sexual tension (EMK calls it polarity, which is a David Deida thing) and this goes against our masculine/feminine nature. I’m down with all that. I believe in the male-female polarity concept, and for like 99% of relationship stuff I think it’s gold. Incidentally, when women send out the signals, I call that girly telepathy. She’s using her mind powers to induce you to take her on a date.
The conflict I’m having is this. If a chick asked me out first, that act alone would not emasculate me nor flip the polarity. I’ve been asked out before and, besides some surprise and delight, it’s a neutral act. Women initiate sex all the time. Girlfriends ask their boyfriends to go to dinner. Women ask men to dance. Where the sexual tension issue comes into play is during the process of flirting and generating attraction. If she’s doing all the heavy lifting of creating attraction, then you’ve got a problem. This process needs to be lead by the dude.
So, if she asks you out, you simply need to take the lead and go from there. Your manhood stays intact.
So that’s why I think it’s okay if a woman asked a man out on a first date. We live in a post-modern world, and I think chicks should go for it.
Honey, what’s your take?