I had to blog about this. I found this YouTube video via Seduction Chronicles, and in it, Kezia, a female dating coach, talks about the right way for guys to buy girls drinks. She says that if a guy doesn’t offer to buy a drink within the first 10′ of a new interaction, he comes off as cheap, rude, or selfish. Listen at the 1:30 mark:
Um, seriously? Kezia, you’re hot, but you’re totally off here. First off, she’s talking about the first 10 minutes of a brand new interaction, ie a pickup. She also mentions that if you act fussy about what you want, that makes it “okay” to buy the drink. That just sounds totally gay to me.
I never buy drinks for women when I try to pick them up in bars. Why would you? She’s a COMPLETE STRANGER, and if she was unattractive (fat/ugly), you wouldn’t even consider it. Just because she has a nice rack and a pretty face doesn’t entitle her to your money.
Before you get to the drink buying stage, you both have to connect, exchange a bunch of value, and she has to prove she’s not a golddigger. I would be insulted if she asked me to buy her a drink. Also, I’ve never met a girl that thought I was cheap if I didn’t offer to buy a drink within the first 10 minutes. That’s just bizarre.
I can think of a couple of circumstances where I do buy drinks during the first night of meeting a new girl.
1. We start partying with friends and people in the group have open tabs. If she’s contributing to the group fun-ness, she’s entitled to a couple of drinks on someone else’s tab.
2. She’s hung out with me for over an hour and it’s crystal clear I’m getting the number or hooking up later in the evening.
3. We’ve already made out.
4. She bought me drinks first. I’m happy to reciprocate round-for-round.
Also, if you’re dating a girl regularly or gf-bf, then yes, of course, you’ll be paying for drinks/food, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Kezia is a dating coach for PUATraining, one of the bigger European-based companies. I’ve checked out some of their other videos and they’re generally decent, but this one is just awful. Peeps, don’t try to pick up a girl by buying her a drink!