Why I Like Butt Sex

Spurred by Honey’s comment about anal sex on our guest post, Spanking for Beginners, I thought I would try to address why I like it. I’ve done a ton of thinking on the topic of pooper sex and why it’s such a big deal and why it works and doesn’t work for some people. I’ve debated with multiple (female) rump virgins on the topic, always unsuccessfully, but it’s worth giving it a shot.

Firstly, let me say this. I nailed a girl in the pooper for the first time about two years ago, and prior to that I had thought about and fantasized about it, but never seriously tried it with a chick. Every single girlfriend I had been with up until that point said they wouldn’t do it, so I didn’t bother trying. Prior to doing it for the first time, I definitely went through stretches, especially early on in my sexual career, where I thought it was lame, ridiculous, disgusting, and possibly even disrespectful to women. Rationally, the act is those things. I wanted to try it, but my rational mind easily blocked it.

The second thing I will say is that pooper sex doesn’t feel that great for the guy, either. Some guys may disagree with me here, but it’s no substitute for how a good old-fashioned pussy feels. I’m talking about the physical sensation only. At the risk of getting too graphic, the texture is kinda weird and the tightness doesn’t make that much of a difference. So let’s just get that out in the open.

So why then do it?

The first girl I nailed in the bee-hind was a girl I picked up at bar and had a one-night stand with. We were both drunk as hell and we were both super aggressive and freaky about what we wanted. Simply put, she wanted to be fucked silly and I was ready to unleash my inner beast. We were perfectly in the zone together on the sex. I got crazy dominant and aggressive with her and in addition to tying her up, spanking her, and roughing her up a bit in a loving way, I also stuck it in her butt. I didn’t ask or discuss it with her, although I did warm her up with my fingers. It didn’t physically feel great for either of us…in fact, she found it painful. But we both loved it.

The reason is this. Anal sex is one of the most dominant acts a person can do, so if you’re in the D/s zone and living out that fantasy type, it makes perfect sense. You’re right on the edge of “violating” that person, and that knife’s edge risk is a crazy turn-on for two people who have bought into that fantasy. The high you get from being in the D/s fantasy is absolutely incredible, like nothing I’ve felt with anything else, and doing it anal is one of the most effective tools in the toolbox. It is freakin’ intense.

Similarly, spanking, hair pulling, light (and loving) chokes, bondage, and dirty talk are all tools to get you in that zone. I think that anal is one of the more effective tools, roughly equivalent to me giving her the money shot in the mouth after I’ve railed her for a bit.

My last girlfriend, Megan, had never done it anal before until we got drunk one night and I nailed her in the rump. She hated it, at first. It was painful. But she asked me to do it again and again because she loved being absolutely dominated by me and she started falling into this fantasy where I was “punishing” her for being a “bad girl.” I picked up on that quickly and extended the fantasy through dirty talk. Eventually, she asked for it at every single session and it got to the point where I was a little weirded out by it. But that was her fantasy and I was happy to oblige.

Just to take it a few steps further, I think all sex is like this. Everything I’m doing is meant to move towards getting us deeply into the zone, where I’m the big “D” and she’s the little “s” in D/s. Only a fraction of sex is about the physical sensations…those are great, but what I’m looking for is the emotional/psychological intensity. The more intense it is, the greater the release and the greater the fulfillment. Let me repeat that: The sensations are NOTHING compared to the mental component.

Rationally, anal sex makes no sense. Emotionally and psychologically, it can be awesome if both people are looking for that fantasy.

What are your anal sex experiences, thoughts, and opinions? Who here likes it?

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    I’ve done it probably 15-20 times with 3 different people. It never became comfortable physically, so I stopped doing it. Jake’s never done it and has no interest.

    I keep thinking about D/s since that’s your new thing…is it possible to be neither? I really find the idea of both sides of the spectrum equally unappealing, I can’t imagine ever role-playing either one and the idea of my partner being either one of those things turns me off.

    I had sex for very different reasons when I was younger than I do today. Until I was 24 or so, sex was either validation or reassurance. These days, it’s all about the physical sensation and about celebrating our emotional connection.

    I don’t think I mentioned it, but the other day after we watched some porn and had sex on the couch (our couch has the BEST angle), I was using a tiny vibrator that you slip on over your finger because that meant that Jake had room to finger me, too, and I totally came while he was fingering me! That’s a huge first.
    .-= Honey´s last blog …Why I Like Butt Sex =-.

  • http://themodernsavage.com/ Matt Savage

    Personally I’ve never found anal sex to be appealing, I just can’t seem find any desire to stick my member into a spot where poop comes from. That being said, I’ve never tried it either, so who knows maybe I’d fall into that same D/s thing too.

    However, if it’s more of a dominance thing, then there are certainly other ways of getting that idea across without an injection in the pooper. Spanking and roughing things up comes to mind, even dirty talking helps to get that emotional and psychological part across. Speaking of dirty talk, one thing I’ve noticed with every girl I’ve been with is that they all get into the dirty talking.
    .-= Matt Savage´s last blog …Get a Haircut and Reap the Confidence =-.

  • new_mexico_girl_

    I’ve tried anal sex with three different partners over the last ten years. The first, was a long term boyfriend, the emotions were right, but the physical feeling of anal sex just never felt right, so we abandoned it. The second, was just a guy I was dating, I indulged him, and it didn’t feel good at all, so we did not repeat it. The third, which has only happened in the past year, is with a guy I really like, so the emotional aspect is by far better than with the other two – he is a better match for me, and I think that’s why anal sex is successful for us.

    The first time we tried it, we were in the spooning position, I was on my Girl Time, so we couldn’t have regular sex. My hormones, being all over the place, really made me want him in any capacity – so I actually guided him into my bum! It actually felt amazing and he loved it too! Every time we’ve played after that, we’ve done anal – different positions, too: spooning, him standing at the edge of the bed, me on top facing him.

    As far as technicality on how it feels, from a girl’s perspective… It is more intense and pleasurable if he moves really slowly – none of that fast crap you see in porn. He can barely even move at all, and it will send me to O-town. ;)

    Hope that helps! I love your guys’ blog, btw… :)

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    Honey, have you ever been dominated during sex? I know I didn’t do it, but I was a big pussy back then.

    Very cool about the orgasm thing. I had a terrific breakthrough with my current gf last night. She also can’t orgasm from penetration, but we managed to get her to the big O from me nailed her missionary while she was rubbing herself. It was a terrific. The feedback actually spurred me to nail her two more times after that.

    Besides that, I got her to admit she has this buried naughty girl fantasy and wouldn’t mind (ie wants badly) to be spanked and then fucked. I also got her to buy into some “I am a dirty slut” dirty talking and light fantasy that helped with the strong orgasm. We’ll be exploring this for sure. My goal is to help her orgasm from penetration and also achieve multiples.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    I tried some light bondage with my second major college boyfriend, but it was so reminiscent for me of the physical and emotional abuse that I’d experienced with my first college boyfriend that it failed DISASTROUSLY and I never tried anything like that again.

    I was remembering the anal sex that I did have after mentally tallying how often I’d tried it, and the thing that I DID like about it (which is why I tried it so many times despite never finding it comfortable) is that it was always 100% completely on my terms.

    It would go down like this: I’d tell the guy how amazing it was supposed to be (I think I was the first girl all 3 of those guys did t his with). I’d make him ask repeatedly before saying I’d be willing to try it with him. We could only do it on the shower, only with me on top in a sort of spooning position facing away from the guy. I had to give permission for it to be done, that permission could be revoked at any time, and I was 100% in control of all physical movement while it was taking place.

    Because it was in the context of me using sex for validation/reassurance, it made me feel very powerful and in control of the experience (the only time I ever felt in control of the relationship or the sex).

    Because Jake and I have a great relationship, I find I don’t need to use sex to get validation/reassurance anymore, so I’m free to stop manipulating and can instead concentrate on the aspects of the sex that we both find the most physically pleasurable. As far as I know it is the physical/visual stimulus of sex that gets him going, when we have watched porn together he doesn’t even notice or remember any plot points or anything about the setup/scenario at all…he just wants to look at naked parts.
    .-= Honey´s last blog …Why I Like Butt Sex =-.

  • http://www.thebeautifulkind.com/ The Beautiful Kind

    I just reviewed a terrible porn that goes right along with this post and the comments:
    http://thebeautifulkind.com/reviews/porn/she-loves-two-wild-dicks-really

    I had three very isolated positive anal experiences among many failed attempts and decided with my current partner I would make it a regular part of our sex lives. We’ve done it about 20-30 times, and I still can’t say it’s 100% awesome. Sometimes it’s beyond incredible – I’ve had multiple orgasms from anal – but the last time we did it, I bled and it was awkward.

    I find I have to be in the right mood, really turned on, in the zone. You can’t force anal sex. It’s too raw and honest.

    I liked how you mentioned in your post that the texture is odd and tightness not that much different. I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard anyone say that out loud.

    I’d say people get into anal for the taboo aspect and how intimate it is. It requires trust.

    The D/s theory is interesting. At first I didn’t see your point, but then I flipped the roles and have to agree that any man who wants to be pegged by his gf is living out a submissive fantasy.

    Anal play receiving makes more sense for men than for women. Sure women have plenty of nerve endings there, but that golden nugget prostate is worth digging for! EVERY TIME I’ve ever wanted to make a guy cum faster, I’ve either played with his anal area or stuck a finger inside. Drives them absolutely nuts.
    .-= The Beautiful Kind´s last blog …The TBK Saga: Beast’s Vasectomy =-.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    Ha! Jake and I have experimented a little with fingers and tongues…if I’m in the zone then I am okay with him using a finger in my anus, and I also really enjoy anal-lingus sometimes, but he HATED being on the receiving end of either.
    .-= Honey´s last blog …Why I Like Butt Sex =-.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    So really I just keep thinking WHERE CAN I GET THOSE PANTIES?!?!
    .-= Honey´s last blog …Why I Like Butt Sex =-.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    Hello, how about that ass!! Damn that shizzy is hot. It hurts me to look at it.
    .-= Lance´s last blog …Why I Like Butt Sex =-.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    TBK, have to agree partially on your pt about anal for dudes, it makes more sense physically because of the prostate, which is like an automatic orgasm button for guys. Seriously. The few times I’ve gone there were pretty explosive.

    However, IMO it makes more sense for the gals, though because of the mental component. Like I said above, the mental component is so much more important than the physical sensation.

    Interestingly, my last gf asked me if I’d mind taking it in the butt with a strap-on (from her), which I wasn’t thrilled about, but I told her that I would try it if she got off on it. Even though she likes being dominated, I think she occasionally wanted to dominate. Which makes perfect sense to me, because the fantasy can go back and forth. We never went there, though.
    .-= Lance´s last blog …Why I Like Butt Sex =-.

  • new_mexico_girl_

    “Hello, how about that ass!!”

    I want it too! I wonder how much working out it takes to get a booty like that. :)

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    I feel confident about my own ass. I just want to show it off in those panties. That photo inspired me to invite Jake on an underwear-buying trip :-)
    .-= Honey´s last blog …Why I Like Butt Sex =-.

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    I agree it doesn’t feel that great for the guy, and I’ve only met a few women who truly enjoyed it. One woman I talked to said she was a former lover to a famous SF Giants baseball player. He didn’t want a paternity suit, and would only have sex with her anally. Another woman was older, and said she preferred it since she wasn’t as tight after having multiple babies. (Um, kegels??)

    Still, as much as it’s not as good as regular sex, there is a dirty allure to it…

    I love the boyshorts on that woman in the pic! Actually, I love the woman’s butt. The boyshorts just accentuate her assets. Nice.
    .-= dadshouse´s last blog …Facebook Single Parents – Six Degress of Kevin Bacon =-.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    I think that style of panty is called “cheekie” – boyshorts don’t crawl up that way, though they have their place too!
    .-= Honey´s last blog …Why I Like Butt Sex =-.

  • http://katwilder.com Kat Wilder

    It’s definitely an interesting sensation. I enjoy it, but I don’t insist on it; I just go along with the program if that’s a guy’s thing. It does feel “dirty,” and thus the allure.

    But I have found quite a few men like to be licked and fingered anally, and you can really drive a man crazy that way if you hit the right spot.

    The real question is how many have had front and back action … at the same time? ;-)
    .-= Kat Wilder´s last blog …Your cheating heart =-.

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    I came back for the photo on this post. Damn…
    .-= dadshouse´s last blog …Bad Sex or No Sex =-.

  • http://kelloggsville.blogspot.com Kelloggsville

    wow – I wish my butt looked that good – even from my angle that is a wonderful photo!

    Butt sex…oh yes…always fancied the idea of it but from the psychological side on which you nailed perfectly. Never found the guy who was happy to go down that route.
    .-= Kelloggsville´s last blog …Not all Landlords are called Riley =-.

  • http://www.thebeautifulkind.com/ The Beautiful Kind

    Yes, those panties are electric. And the ass is an onion – makes me wanna cry. But those jeans and belt are TERRIBLE. TAKE THEM OFF.
    .-= The Beautiful Kind´s last blog …The TBK Saga: My Sexy Texts =-.

  • http://www.knockknocktimerico.deviantart.com Mitch Valentini

    I likey butt sex with guys’ butts.