Okay, so I don’t know if there’s anything that can really be done about this, but a) I figure you all will let me know if you can think of something, and b) at least this way I get to vent. The BF has a friend that I’m not crazy about. We’ll call him Dick. We’ve hung out with Dick and his girlfriend, Jane, at their house a couple of times. We’ve also hung out with just Dick (significant, as I’ll mention later) publicly–restaurants, beer fests, that sort of thing. Dick is fun enough, though you can tell that he thinks a lot more of himself than any other reasonable person would. But he’s done/said some smarmy things that make me kinda uncomfortable.
His Treatment of His GF
So this guy’s been with his girlfriend a couple years and they live together in her apartment. He’s hinted before (when with the BF, not around me) that he’s not completely happy with her for various reasons and wonders if they’re right for each other. Okay, fine, everyone feels this way to some extent at some point or another. But I guess Dick and the BF went out for drinks after work and Dick blatantly confessed to the BF that he was going to break up with Jane “as soon as something better comes along.” My guess is that’s why whenever we’ve hung out with him at a public venue he’s been sans Jane–he’s on the prowl. And I don’t think overlap of girlfriends would be a problem for him, because of the next thing:
His Lack of Respect for My Relationship
Recently the BF told Dick that he’d told me that he (the BF) had cheated in past relationships. The BF told me this because he wanted us to have a clean slate, and because he felt it was important to be truthful about his past if he wanted to build a future with me. The BF and I have talked about this (and I’ve done my share of cheating before, though I wouldn’t cheat on him) and we’re both comfortable with each others’ pasts. However, Dick was shocked by the fact that the BF had confessed this to me. Not because he was afraid it would cause trust issues in our relationship, but because I would be “on the alert” for such behavior and that would make it difficult for the BF to cheat on me. When the BF said that he didn’t cheat on me and never would, Dick was even more shocked! “Why on earth wouldn’t you cheat on her?” He asked. WTF?!?
I do not like this man. I have long had the sense that his fondest wish would be for the BF to break up with me so that he would have an excuse to ditch Jane and they could go on the prowl together. The BF is pretty appalled by these particular behaviors as well, and I have absolute faith that he’d never do anything like that. After all, I just moved in, and we are working on our finances so we can have a house and a wedding. Our relationship is moving forward. I trust him. I just don’t like this dude. However, he is a buddy from work and it is important for both myself and the BF to stay on good terms with him and be able to hang out with him socially.
Like I said, I don’t think there’s much I can do about this except be nice when I see him, try my best not to make snarky comments or warn Jane, and just pretend I don’t know this stuff. What do you think?
In other news, the BF and I are going to Seattle for Memorial Day Weekend, so I won’t be around to respond to comments until then. I’ve never been before, so I’m excited. Have a great weekend yourself, everyone!