About the Author

Honey's main interests are online dating, long distance dating, and long term relationships. She met her boyfriend on MySpace and they have been exclusive since their first date over three years ago. Currently they live in Tempe, Arizona. Honey graduated with her PhD in Composition and Rhetoric in May 2009. You can contact Honey via email here or online here.

What Flattery Will Get You

So I received an e-mail over the weekend from a friend of mine from college, saying that he’d awoken in the night after a nostalgic and somewhat erotic dream about me.


I met this fellow, call him Dan, freshmen year of college – we were in the same English class.  I had a huge crush on him and used to walk him to his next class since I didn’t have one immediately after our English class.  Later he joined a fraternity and so we had lots of mutual friends and saw each other quite often, though rarely because we had made specific plans to hang out (though sometimes we did).

At some point, I discovered that he’d always had a crush on me, too, but he didn’t know that I liked him and so he was afraid to ever initiate anything (he’s kind of insecure  – he was a musical theater major and sort of fit that neurotic actor stereotype).  Once we both discovered the feeling was/had been mutual, things never ended up right timingwise – sometimes I had a boyfriend, other times he was moving to LA to pursue his acting career.  You know, the usual.

There was one night where we almost hooked up at a party, but he knocked over a huge scented candle and the melted wax went everywhere and once we’d cleaned it up, the moment had pretty much passed.  The night before he moved to LA he took me out on a date, but I got a little drunk and he was a gentleman so that was that.  We’ve exchanged e-mails in the years since then (7 or 8 years) but haven’t ever seen each other.

Against the odds, he has had a pretty successful career as an actor.  He was the face of a national campaign (billboard work, not commercials) and has been an extra and walk-on for shows like Scrubs and Veronica Mars.  He was a guest star on a Disney kids’ show and has had small recurring roles on TV – one very popular prime-time dramedy that is returning this fall, and another cancelled prime time drama.  Most recently, he got a role as a primary cast member for a spinoff of a very dorky but very popular SciFi franchise that debuts this fall.

All of which boils down to: I feel like I have a semi-famous friend and it has always been cool to know that we were fairly close in college and that, even today, I have his “real” contact information – i.e., I’m not “some fan” and if I e-mail him I always hear back.

This Contact

So obviously I was incredibly flattered when he sent me an e-mail that said he would have a (somewhat) erotic dream about me years and years later.  It had been awhile since we had exchanged e-mails but last I heard he had a girlfriend (and I have been dating the BF for over three years, and I know that we’d exchanged e-mails about our significant others in our most recent correspondence).

Well, a couple of e-mails in I realized he’s not just being nostalgic, he’s flirting with me.  Hm.  This seemed a little strange since the BF’s all over my MySpace page, but as the e-mails got a little more risque I realized that he probably hadn’t read my page, just e-mailed me.

I’d given him my Facebook (we were communicating on MySpace, which I don’t think either of us uses regularly aanymore) so that he could look me up and e-mail me there.  I haven’t heard from him again, and it’s been almost a week, which means I suspect that he actually did read my Facebook page and realized I was off the market.  So this makes me a little relieved (since no lines were crossed – and for those of you wondering, I told the BF when I received the original e-mail and also when I realized I was being flirted with) and also a little sad.

It’s nice being told by someone who’s kinda famous that not dating me is his biggest college regret. 

Sidenote: the BF is a huge fan of the other series in this franchise and said that he’d absolutely give me the green light to flirt if Dan could arrange for us to meet the cast!

Would you let a famous friend flirt with you even if you had an SO?  Leave a comment below and then check out these posts:

  • http://casualencounters.com/blog/ Janak

    Sure, but it would have to be a better show than the one he’s on.

    Janak´s last blog post…Paid adult dating site – AmateurMatch review

  • http://20-forty.com lisaq

    I suppose for me it would depend on how the SO feels about it. Since the b/f gave you the green light, then there you go. I’m pretty sure my SO wouldn’t view it that way, so I would respect his feelings.

    lisaq´s last blog post…Wordless Wednesday Eye Candy-Make Me a Supermodel Edition: Jonathan

  • http://www.cashbackrewardcreditcards.net/ Cash Back

    Yeah I don’t think I’d want my SO flirting with any past flings regardless of what I get out of it….well with limitations anyway. It would have to be for something better than just meeting some famous people.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    In my circumstance, a) the BF was kidding because he knows I’d never do it, and b) even if my friend was willing, I don’t think we’re going to take the time off to fly to Canada! LOL.

    I bet he’d let me sleep with someone else if they paid off his credit cards and student loans, though! 😉

    Honey´s last blog post…Interview with Dream, Founder of the 21 Convention

  • http://casualencounters.com/blog/ Janak

    Hey off-topic, but is anyone else having issues with that featured post box? It often takes forever to load for me, and sometimes just doesn’t, like today.

    Am I alone here?

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    I wonder if it’s only because there’s a video in it this time?

    Honey´s last blog post…Interview with Dream, Founder of the 21 Convention

  • http://www.cashbackrewardcreditcards.net/ Cash Back

    Well yeah…large amounts of money is a completely different story. Robert Redford may have had to pay $1,000,000 in Indecent Proposal, but in reality I think a lot of people would be willing to drop some zeros on that figure.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    Janak, thanks for the heads up, I moved the vid to after the jump. I noticed it was slowing load times also.

    Lance´s last blog post…Interview with Dream, Founder of the 21 Convention

  • http://www.latinstylez.com Kino

    Just because your SO might be upset, is no reason not to see someone.

    Kino´s last blog post…FR: Club Game ++ Pool Game…Utilizing Venues Included

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    I have some dating regrets. There’s one former girlfriend in particular who I wished I had married. Okay, two or three former girlfriends. Sometimes you just don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

    Cool that he flirted. Even better that you stuck close to your man.

    dadshouse´s last blog post…Meeting a Love Interest in My Rattiest T-Shirt

  • http://www.thedateabledork.com The Dateable Dork

    Oh, a little flirting never hurt anyone, right? Right???? Wait… don’t answer that. : )

  • http://www.used-tire.net used tires

    No issues here for me the Featured post box, it loads fast and smooth for me. But… I have a very good internet connection, so it may make a difference, but I don’t think it will matter much.

    As far as on-topic… It depends how famous we are talking about… how much I really know the person… I would likely take a very slow approach to it, but I would definitely at least try to be good friends, and try my best to keep things open for future opportunities, but it is a fine line for sure.

    Till then,


  • http://www.gasolinecreditcards.net gas card

    Wow haha that was an interesting tale. An almost famous person knows you, and an almost famous person likes you! That’s not too shabby if you ask me. Especially if he says not dating you is his biggest regret. That’s pretty cool, especially because your boyfriend was really chill about the whole situation.