About the Author

Honey's main interests are online dating, long distance dating, and long term relationships. She met her boyfriend on MySpace and they have been exclusive since their first date over three years ago. Currently they live in Tempe, Arizona. Honey graduated with her PhD in Composition and Rhetoric in May 2009. You can contact Honey via email here or online here.

Vegas, Baby, Vegas!

Well, we had a fantatic time, lost all our money, ate too much food, and got sore feet walking around.  That’s Vegas!  Here are the highlights of our time:

Thursday Night: Karaoke and Hot Sex

After our flight got in (we were happily a little buzzed since my friend Tina had drink tickets for us all) we asked someone at the hotel where we should go for karaoke, and he recommended Ellis Island.  So we caught a cab, ate practically a whole pizza when we got there (New York style, yum) and then Tina and I got our sing on while the BF and her DH looked on.  It was not only fun, but kind of ego-boosting as one guy was visibly trying to catch my eye while I was singing and Tina literally had a mosh pit going while she sang “sweet child of mine.”

Then we were off to the Nine Fine Irishmen in New York, New York (I see now that the evening had an inadvertant theme) for beer and rocking Irish jigs from their house band.

Back to the hotel room (poor Tina and DH were exhausted, as they were 3 time zones away from home) and the BF, as he is wont to do in strange hotel rooms, proceeded to rip my clothes off and take complete and utter blissful charge of my body, moving me around and switching positions at will until he finally straddled me and I gave him head while lying down (he likes this position because he’s basically on his knees looking down at me between them).  Note: this is not the best position for him to actually cum in, because I ended up choking a little bit and he can’t get off me right away since I’m pinned between his legs.  However, he was afterglow-y enough not to care.

Rinse and repeat the next morning, sans head for him and subbing twice as much head for me.  Hooray!  He is the first boyfriend I’ve had that’s been really into that, and he received some very positive feedback from me a couple of weeks ago when he gave me The Best Head Ever, so he’s been more eager than usual since then.  Smart of me :-)

Day Two: The Wynn

The highlight of the next day was absolutely Le Reve, which was incredible.  The stage is underwater and different parts of it can be raised and lowered by varying amounts.  Characters enter and exit the stage in one of three ways: 1) the three side doors, 2) by coming up out of the water (I have no idea how they did  this what with the stage and etc.), and 3) the ceiling, which was probably 4 or 5 stories up – they descended on wires.  Fantastic music, choreography, and since we were in the front row we were about 5 feet from the characters a lot of the time.  Exciting!  I believe this is also the day that we went to the top of the Stratosphere and rode the X-Scream, a teeter-totter 866 feet above the ground.

Day Three: Paul Oakenfold

This was definitely one of the most intense parts of the trip, in good ways and bad.  See, the Palms had oversold the venue – by, like, a lot. We had been in the lobby for over an hour (along with 500 other people) and still couldn’t even get an employee to tell us if we were waiting in the correct line.  Though I should say “line,” since it’s kind of a strong word for what was going on – it was totally a mob and Tina saw one guy pick up  a stantion and put it on some poor girl’s foot (among assorted other pushing and shoving).  The BF was livid and so we went to tell someone at the front desk that we wanted our money back.

10 minutes later we’d been walked all the way into the club.  Awesome.

There was the inside, where Paul Oakenfold was – pulse-pounding beats along with fire from the ceiling, monsters on stilts, and girls in glow in the dark costumes suspended from the ceiling and “dancing” in midair.  There was the outside, with “regular” club music, a pool, and outdoor bar.  Now for the funniest part.

I knew the BF probably wasn’t going to remember the evening when he told me that I had to close out his credit card for him because he’d stolen a bottle of jagermeister and he wasn’t allowed back to the bar (that’s not actually what happened, which is only more evidence of his drunkenness).  Me, Tina, and DH were ready to leave around 3:30 a.m., but the BF told us he was just getting started.

“Can we stay a little longer?” he begged.

“How long?”

“An hour.”

“Um…no. (?!?!) 15-20 minutes.”

“45 minutes.”


Eventually the deal was struck that he’d go back inside the club and we’d go check out the cab line, texting him if it was crazy.  It was, so I texted him, and he came out (he was wearing jeans, a clubby t-shirt, a black blazer, and sunglasses – oh and as a PS, I wore my purple wig and everyone gave me compliments and, oddly, touched my hair all night).  It took us about 30 minutes in line to get a cab because there were so many people, and he asked no fewer than 8 times why we were standing in the line, no fewer than 5 times why we were leaving the club, and offered his opinion at one point that this was “a stupid way to catch a cab.”  The rest of the time he was sulking and standing with his arms crossed, staring at the ground through his sunglasses.   He asked at one point if he could just stay and catch his own cab back, but he had run out of cash and so wouldn’t have been able to do that anyway, so he was stuck with us.

Tina, DH and I pretty much ignored him completely after the third time he repeated a question – we figured as long as he wasn’t being disruptive and was actually following us and getting into the cab then he could stew in his own juices and that was fine.  The cab ride back he berated us a couple of times for making him “leave Paul Oakenfold,” and then we were back at the hotel.  Tina and DH went back to their room and the BF and I went to ours – it took me 20-30 minutes to get my contacts out because one of them had rolled behind my eye and I had to fiddle around with my eye until the contact rolled to the front again.  The whole time I’m thinking, “what is he going to blast me with when I come out of the bathroom?”

I go out there, and he’s lying completely naked, spread-eagle and snoring, on one of the two queen-sized beds in our room.  Yeah, you needed to stay with Paul Oakenfold because you weren’t tired!  :-) The next morning he wakes up chipper.

“I had a great time last night!”

“Do you remember how we got home?”

No, he doesn’t – which makes me burst out laughing and warn him that Tina and DH are going to give him some crap about it.  Which they do.  We have a day of low-key penny slots before flying back home that night.

If this post reminded you of a significant other – or anyone, for that matter – that was obnoxious while drunk, leave a comment below!  And then check out these other fine posts:

  • http://simonandcole.com Simon

    On my ex-girlfriend Christine’s 21st birthday a few years back, I wanted to throw her under a train. She is a twin, so her sister and her sister’s bf found a cab at 2 when the bars closed. We couldn’t find a cab in our relatively small college town, so we decided to walk the 15 minutes home. She was hammered beyond belief, and kept telling me I was a horrible boyfriend for not being able to find us a ride home (even though I was carrying her heels and almost carrying her). “You suck! I would never do this to you!” she screamed, as she literally sat down in the middle of the train tracks. I stared at her and turned around to walk the remaining 60 yards to my house because I seriously wanted to leave her there. She closed her eyes and FELL ASLEEP. She was so plastered that I may have actually saved her life by going back. Uggggh why did you remind me about this story, Honey?!?!?

    Simon´s last blog post…Bad Luck or Good Choices? by Simon

  • Eric

    Lol @ Simon. Sounded like a great time Honey.. Gotta add Vegas to my list.

  • http://casualencounters.com/blog/ Janak

    Yeah reminds me of the last time I did three days in Vegas. An alcoholic blur punctuated by visions of garish revue shows and peculiar blackjack partners.

    Janak´s last blog post…Weekly Roundup – Top 10 Casual Sex Links from Around the Web

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    I was just glad he didn’t get sick…last time we were in Vegas I thought he was going to throw up in the cab, and all I could think was, I don’t have enough money to give the cabbie if that happens…

    At home, while not a teetotaler, he rarely drinks. But he always gets smashed one night in Vegas…I drink more than most people, but really don’t vary the amount while on vacation. 3-4 beers, that’s it.

  • http://20-forty.com lisaq

    Sounds like a fabulous time. I so can’t wait to go in October!

    lisaq´s last blog post…What Counts As Cheating?

  • http://www.thedateabledork.com The Dateable Dork

    Sounds like a great trip! LOL @ the BF being all pouty – boys are silly sometimes. : )

  • http://engagement101mag.wordpress.com Tiffany @ Engagement 101

    You were in Vegas the same time we were, except we were working the whole time and actually in bed by a decent hour. Le sigh.

    Tiffany @ Engagement 101´s last blog post…Guys vs. Girls: Jewelry Market Week RECAP