The Weekly: Polyamory Edition

So I’ve been flirting with this 33-year-old hot MILF over IM and text lately. Things are going well and I think we’re gonna meet this weekend. I don’t know why, but I seem to have developed a fetish for older MILFy girls (she’s a few years older than me). Maybe because they’re more grounded, less self absorbed, not in a hurry to get married? This girl, Katie, also considers herself a high sex drive girl. She claims to need sex 6+ times per week or else she gets cranky (she’s currently single, so must be hating life) and she also claims to be a multiple-o girl. Like basically if you do anything to her, she’ll get off. We’ll see.

(Why hello, Mrs. Robinson.)

We had a brilliant IM conversation last week where the bulk of the convo was about sex. The topic came up very naturally and there was nothing skeezy or forced about it. I asked her if she knew about the d-spot, which she didn’t, but she described the a-spot and it sounded like exactly the same thing. We also talked about squirting and some other cool stuff, and I added more material to my knowledge base. She was pleasantly surprised that I was so open and frank about sex talk. Oh, she’s also a computer and gaming dork! How about that?!

Which leads me to this question: If a chick is happiest having sex 6 times per week (or more), and her man is happy “only” doing it 3-4 times per week, what happens to the chick? She stills needs at least two more sessions per week, and the guy won’t be up for it, at least once they get past the lusty honeymoon phase. He could grind through it, or she could suppress her sex drive, but it’s going to create conflict. I see this as a sexual compatibility problem and I don’t think compromise is a good idea.

Which leads me to the weekly.

I found this awesome website,, whose slogan is “smart talk about love.” The content is ostensibly for women, but all men could benefit from it. I read maybe 10 posts last night and they’re all packed with value. I would like to recommend the following.

Jenny Block’s Portrait of an Open Marriage. One of the best written relationship pieces I’ve found online to date. Her writing style is lovely. You’ll get an honest and moving look at an open marriage. There is no way you can read this and not have a reaction. Read some of the comments too, they cover the full spectrum. Set aside about 10 minutes for this longer article.

Also check out this response post from Anonymous Coward. Money quote:

“Allow me to reiterate, for those who missed it the first time: I *want* my woman to ‘sleep around.’ As a matter of fact, it would upset me if she were to *not* pursue physical pleasure, if it was offered, and she wanted it. If I thought that she had turned it down out of deference to me and my feelings of jealousy, or out of some sense of duty to me, I would be absolutely horrified.”

Check out Justin Richard’s excellent and grittier look at three open relationships in Sarasota, Florida. This one is called A missus, A mister, and her mistress.

If you’re considering an open relationship, be sure to read Dan Eldridge’s excellent do’s and dont’s post. He’s engaged to a chick that hooks up with other people.

Moving away from open relationships for a minute, be sure to read Marguerite Fields’ Modern Love essay winner, Want to be my Boyfriend? Please Define. Well written commentary on hookup culture.

Honey had two guest posts published recently, the first is vegan recipes on the Dad’s House blog, and the second is an article asking if pickup should go mainstream on the new Pickup Podcast blog. Be sure to check them out.

If you’re a twitterer, you can follow us here:

Everyone have a durty durty weekend.

  • http://www, Bobby Rio

    Have fun with the milf… they are a blast! I tend to be attracted to them too… but as i’m getting older the younger 19 year olds are starting to grow on me too.

    Milfs will always be the better lay though.

  • Eathan

    Well Lance.. if she’s a hottie and as fun as she says…I’m sure the guy will take his vitamins to keep up. At least I would, if I was having trouble keeping

    Have fun with her…I’m gonna watch for details.

  • mama llama

    I’ve been reading for a while but have not commented until now:

    My sex drive has increased dramatically in my thirties…and from what I hear, the forties can be even better! When the possibility in my marriage for having sex was even existent, I was simply left completely unsatisfied. If you can keep up and allow her to teach you a thing or two about her pleasure without egos getting bruised (it’s all about communication, not about being hurtful), you will have quite an experience.

    Have fun!

    Be well, Lance.

    mama llamas last blog post..the conversation and subsequent relief

  • lisaq

    Can wait to see how your MILFy meeting goes Lance! You know that high sex drive thing comes with age for women which is why Cougars are in high demand. It’s a huge perk but also part of the reasons they’re Cougars…they need someone who can keep up.

    lisaqs last blog post..Denial…Thy Name is Mr. Unavailable!

  • The Dateable Dork

    Hahaha… love all this talk about MILFs and cougars! LOL! Lance, be sure to update us on all the great MILFy sex you’ll be having this weekend. And I want a FULL report if you make contact with the d-spot, a-spot, mythical-non-existent-spot, or whatever you call it. : )

    The Dateable Dorks last blog post..Attention all nerdy computer guys: the line forms here

  • evilwoobie

    holy macarena! thanks for pointing me to that site. and I agree with everyone, MILFs are the best lays ever!

    evilwoobies last blog post..Control: Dominance in Relationships

  • dadshouse

    Women in their 30s are great in bed. MILFs don’t get laid nearly enough. The sum total is a rockin’ time, for sure.

    dadshouses last blog post..At an Awkward Age When Women and Their Moms are Both Hot

  • Loving Annie

    If she wants it two more times a week than you do, there are going to be problems… If you care about her, break out the toys and satisfy her as best you can the two times your body isn’t into it… That may or may not work in the long term though…

    Loving Annies last blog post..Mhmm Mhmm Good Chicken Spaghetti

  • cheekie

    6 times a week sounds good to me…although, I would take 4.
    Quality over quantity any day…

    but 6x of really great sounds really great. lol….
    and yes, in my 30’s I am less concerned with how I look naked than
    actually getting naked!

    my last bf and I were perfectly, extraordinarily matched that way. which is rare. and damn it was good. sigh. same time, same place, just one look and bam, yup. all good there. very very rare, especially for guys once they hit their late 30’s and into their 40’s…that drive starts to diminish a bit.

    my last ltr, we had amazing sex, but he was a once or twice a week guy….whereas I am not. sigh. it did cause some hurt feelings when I would get rebuffed. or he would fall asleep…so it’s definitely something that has to be worked out and worked on.
    but I agree, you can’t OVER-comprimise. you do have to to a certain extent but not to the point of resentment or to the point where it feels like a chore…

  • js

    Great post, and great links to other articles that explain what open relationships really mean.

    Maybe I’m in minority (in relation to people here) but if I love a girl, and ready to accept her to be my serious gf, there’s no way I’d be OK if she had sex with other people.

    Just thinking about it makes me upset. I’m 29, so I’m being open minded, but still it’s not something i’d want to do.

  • Jenny Block

    Thank you so much for the link and the kind words. I really appreciate it! If you have the opportunity to read my new book, “Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage,” I would love to hear what you think.

    Wishing you all the best,
    Jenny Block

  • Lance

    It took me awhile to wrap my head around it and break down the social programming. Now I don’t think it’s a big deal. But, to each their own.