About the Author

Honey's main interests are online dating, long distance dating, and long term relationships. She met her boyfriend on MySpace and they have been exclusive since their first date over three years ago. Currently they live in Tempe, Arizona. Honey graduated with her PhD in Composition and Rhetoric in May 2009. You can contact Honey via email here or online here.

Why He’s “The One,” or 5 Fun Facts about Honey and the BF

Welcome, everyone!  It seems like the last couple of weeks have brought in some new readers.  Hooray!  We’re glad you’re joining the party and hope you’ll all come back and comment more often.  Since we do have some new folks among us, I thought that I’d tell you all a little bit about the BF and me and link you to some of my favorite posts about us.  Read on…

Fun Fact #1: We’re Huge Dorks

Yes, I have a PhD in composition and rhetoric (or will, in only 3 more weeks!) and the BF has a terminal degree as well.  We’re huge readers and own, well, thousands of books.  Literally.  When you walk into our fabulous new, cute house in Tempe, you see two tall bookshelves and two short bookshelves, both crammed full of books (stacked on top of each other and everything).  And that’s the room where we put the books that didn’t fit in the room where we keep most of our books!  We do like some different things (and each have a respectable amount of things specific to our fields), but have pretty similar taste in what we like to read in our free time.  A list of mutual favorite authors includes:

  • Robert Jordan
  • Orson Scott Card
  • J.K. Rowling
  • Isaac Asimov
  • J.R.R. Tolkein

In non-shared tastes, I like Jean Auel and am obsessed with Stephen King while the BF enjoys Harry Turtledove and Phillip K. Dick.  If you know who some of these peeps are – bravo!  You’re a dork, too.  Love it!  We also have about a third of our DVR devoted to recording various local and national news shows and discuss current events fairly incessantly.  (We LOVE Obama.)

Fun Fact #2: We’re Atheists

I won’t say too much about this here because it’s pretty tough to talk about religion without offending anyone…oh, who am I kidding?  Lance and I are out to offend people!  Just read the comments on one of his recent posts picked up by Brazen Careerist or check out my post on whether stay-at-home moms are really just prostitutes.  To get back on topic, the BF and I think that religion is not only a huge lie, but also the single most harmful thing ever to happen to humanity.  Perhaps it was useful to explain the universe back in cave man days, but now that we have science, religion has pretty much become a refuge for people who are stupid, evil, or both.

Fun Fact #3: We’re Vegetarian

I switched over probably 8 years ago because meat upsets my stomach.  The BF converted just a couple of months before meeting me because he is a giant softie and learned one too many things about the meat industry.  Now, we’re both pretty invested in it because the meat industry contributes more harmful greenhouse gasses than the entire transportation industry.  Ack.  Now that we live close enough to home that I actually have time to cook real food, I’ve been experimenting with recipes from my many, many cookbooks.  Yum!

Fun Fact #4: We Don’t Believe in Home Ownership

I’ve felt this way for years, but the recent economic crisis has brought the BF around to my way of thinking.  We’re permanent renters – at least until we can both buy a home outright and know that we’re going to live in the same place for more than 10 years.  Neither of these things is going to happen anytime soon.

Fun Fact #5: We Don’t Want Kids

I know there are folks out there who read this blog who are parents, but the fact of the matter is that the BF and I haven’t been able to come up with a single compelling reason to have kids, and many compelling reasons not to.  I’ve never been alone with a child under five, I’ve never changed a diaper, I think pregnancy sounds horrifying, people don’t get interesting until they’re at least 25 anyway, and unless your kid turns out exactly like you then you are probably going to be disappointed.  Not to mention that they’re a financial disaster.  No, thanks.  We do have two cats and a dog and enjoy them immensely, but they’re headache and expense enough!   Plus they can’t talk, which is awesome.

So We’re Perfect for Each Other

People debate all the time whether there’s one person out there who’s perfect for you or whether that’s a load of crap and you can be compatible with any number of people if you only learn to compromise.  While I fall into the latter category, I do think that your own personal beliefs have the potential to really limit the pool of people that you could be with long-term.  The BF and I are so unconventional in so many ways that there are really very few folks out there that could probably stand to be in a LTR with either of us.

Which, combined with the fact that we have hot, amazing, fantastic sex with each other all the timeeven when we shouldn’t – means that we are pretty darn right for each other!

Maybe he’s “the one.”

What about you – what makes it difficult for you to find someone who is a good fit in your life?

After you leave a comment below, check out the following posts:

  • http://simonandcole.com Simon

    Here’s the thing, Honey. I think mathematically the chances of finding the one are so minuscule that your BF is probably not “the one”, as you stated. On the other hand I totally believe that are certain personality types out there that we seek out that have higher potential than others to work out in the end. That being said, we’re also shallow as all hell and NEED a giant physical attraction immediately or else we don’t give people a chance.

    I find it difficult to find a girl who truly understands guys in general. I don’t blame girls, however. I’ve been trying fruitlessly for years to understand them and it’s frustrating. The girl that works for me is the one who (at least slightly) understands the meaning of ‘time away from the relationship.’ Of course what I mean by this is not what we’ve all come to know as a ‘break’ but literal hours or minutes away from the things that make relationships exhausting and a pain in the ass. In all three serious relationships I’ve experienced, I find myself yearning for this block of time but sticking it out with her anyways.

    Simon´s last blog post…Mystery Jobs by Simon

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    Simon, I actually don’t think the BF is “the one,” i.e. I am SURE there are people out there who not only have the same views as me on the five things I list here, but are WAY more compatible than the BF in other areas. Compromise is still HUGE in order for our relationship to be successful.

    I’m not sure what makes relationships exhausting or a pain in the ass…but it’s only in the last 6 months or so that I’ve come to enjoy the fact that he comes home late, or decided not to go with him sometimes when he goes out with friends so I can hang with my own peeps or watch the TV that he hates. I think it comes with a) age/maturity and b) security with the relationship. I haven’t had either of these things until recently.

    Honey´s last blog post…Why He’s “The One,” or 5 Fun Facts about Honey and the BF

  • http://www.thedateabledork.com The Dateable Dork

    Honey, this is so cute! Yay for fellow dorks!! : )

    The Dateable Dork´s last blog post…Climbing out of the hole

  • http://20-forty.com lisaq

    Great post Honey. We really loved the post on not having children you wrote for us (thanks for the link!) and hope you’ll consider writing another sometime soon!

    lisaq´s last blog post…5 Dating Rules You Should Never Break

  • http://casualencounters.com/blog/ Janak

    I’m pretty much on board with all your fun facts. But at the risk of soliciting another Whitman quote, how do you reconcile #2 with “yay for Astrology”?

    Janak´s last blog post…Weekly Roundup – Top 10 Casual Sex Links from Around the Web

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    They’re equally as plausible. And “yay for astrology” doesn’t equal “I believe in astrology.” I think Jesus was pretty rockin’, too. That doesn’t mean I think he was the son of God.

    Honey´s last blog post…Why He’s “The One,” or 5 Fun Facts about Honey and the BF

  • http://hammer86blog.com Hammer

    I totally agree with you on the atheist thing, and I don’t think it’s stated often enough that religion is the most harmful human creation in the history of the world.

    I do wonder though, if you do believe in science and evolution, how do you not see the value in passing on your genetic make-up? Particularly if you don’t believe in an afterlife, it seems like procreation should really be essential to your understanding to the “meaning of life” question.

    Hammer´s last blog post…Twitter Wars! Calling vs. Texting

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    The BF and his dad and brother almost certainly have Asberger’s – his dad has been diagnosed with it twice, in fact, although he denies it. That, when combined with the fact that my mother died when she was 46 of a degenerative dominantly inherited neurological disorder, make both of us horrible candidates to pass our genes on.

    Unfortunately, it’s not all about good looks, intelligence, and social savvy or I’d be inclined to agree with you :-)

    However, I think that saying you should have kids because you have awesome genes and a duty to the rest of humanity is kind of a cop-out. First of all, if YOU possess all these genetic traits – there’s no reason that they would necessarily get passed on to your kids. So YOU’RE the one that has an obligation to do awesome things for humanity.

    OTOH, I am so disgusted by what “humanity” has accomplished on the whole that I think I should get rich, have fun, and get out without contributing anything to a bunch of people that are only going to fuck it up, anyway.

    Honey´s last blog post…Why He’s “The One,” or 5 Fun Facts about Honey and the BF

  • http://casualencounters.com/blog/ Janak

    Okay, well. It isn’t possible to reconcile statements like this with a lack of belief in Astrology:

    “This is partly because the BF’s job revolves around billable hours so I am home before he does, and partly because as a Virgo (however on the cusp with Leo I am), I have a much lower tolerance for clutter than he does.

    “So even though everything has been going very well on the surface, it is extremely difficult for a Virgo like me to not keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    I’m on the cusp with Leo, so I’m an AWESOME Virgo, but…

    After doing some searching, it looks like Lance is even more of an Astroflake; check this:

    “I met this chick online and her last name is Lance. Seriously. Is that a sign or something? She’s also a Leo, and Leos get along swimmingly well with Geminis. Go read any love astrology site. Back in the day, I had this one gf who was a Leo and let me tell you, the sex was off the hook.

    Saying that you can like Jesus and not think he was the son of God doesn’t speak to my point. You can’t give Astrology credibility without subscribing to its fundamental assumptions. Whereas you can certainly think all kinds of rad thumbs-up about shnizzle J-dawg laid down without buying into to “he was an omnipotent deity.”

    Janak´s last blog post…Weekly Roundup – Top 10 Casual Sex Links from Around the Web

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    Astrology is fun. No credibility necessary.

    Honey´s last blog post…Why He’s “The One,” or 5 Fun Facts about Honey and the BF

  • http://www.thedateabledork.com The Dateable Dork

    Honey – this is a great argument for adoption, which is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. (I’m not necessarily saying adoption is for you and the BF, but your points above just support my own thoughts on the subject.) I also have a (albeit relatively minor) genetic thing that I’m 100% guaranteed to pass on to my offspring, so why would I want to do that when, if I decide I want kids, I can take in an existing kid who needs help? Just venting here. : )

    The Dateable Dork´s last blog post…Rants and raves: my opinions on sex-related issues

  • graham

    Been reading your blog for a while and didn’t realize you were an atheist. A plus in my book.

  • http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/ Single Mom Seeking

    I also love this post… and so much resonates with me (I’m an atheist, too. I was a vegetarian for 10 years until I had a baby.)

    Speaking of kids: Remind me how old you are?

    I respect what you and your BF say about No Kids. I just find it interesting that you’re both so die-hard about it, and can’t help but wonder if you will have an “itch” in 10 or so years. I’m just saying…

    Single Mom Seeking\´s last blog post…Family secrets

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    Hey, SMS – we’re 30, so if we want a kid in 10 years, it’ll be a little too late!