All Posts Tagged With: "virgins"

I’ve Had Sex With Three Virgins And I’m Gonna Tell You About It

I’ve had sex with three virgins and I’m going to tell you about it. Don’t worry, this isn’t a filthy sex post as is my usual wont, it’s an insight and epiphany one.

(Looks delicious, eh?)

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Natalie Dylan: Brilliant Capitalist or Expensive Skank Ho?

The Virgin scooped me on this (you little bastard), but it’s worth blogging about at the Honeyandlance Ranch, where we sell virgins cheap.

Natalie Dylan (not real name), a graduate student at Sacramento State University, is auctioning off her virginity for the cool price of $250,000. According to her, the money is going to pay off college loans and will create a lot of “financial stability” in her life. Well, no fucking shit sister, a quarter mil would create financial stability for pretty much any person ever. Also, last time I checked, grad school at Sac State didn’t cost $250k.

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Weekend Roundup: Hot Seminarian Edition

Okay, this is a combo field report and weekly roundup. This post is a little late since I was doing Lance stuff over the weekend.

First off, I had to “next” Knockers, the 24-year-old hottie I made out with several weeks ago. What does nexting mean? Here it is. I met her and Fatty of Doom at Chillers on Saturday night. Knockers wasn’t giving me shit in the way of IOI’s and I was purposely giving her the cold vibe to see if she would respond. I had already come into the interaction with low expectations because of FOD, who had cockblocked me twice before. Anyway, we met at the bar at 10:00. At midnight they announced suddenly that they had to go home. This was the final straw for me, so I literally stood up, back turned, and walked out of the bar…no goodbye, no hug, nothing. I heard FOD say goodbye to my back but I didn’t respond. Sometimes it’s better to cut and run and this was one of those situations. These two girls were just too lame for me to hang out with. I hooked up with some friends after that and hung out until the wee hours.

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