So a reader, Jessica, emailed me in response to my post on relationship experience here. Her main point:
So reading your key to a successful relationship made me think immediately of Catch-22. I really hope we’re not all doomed to relationship failure just because we haven’t had enough failed relationships in the past!
What I think Jessica is assuming is that since your past relationships are, well, in the past, that makes them failures, ie they didn’t last. My thing was that you should accumulate relationship experience as you move towards the next stage of your life (whatever that may be), but on the way all of your relationships should be ones of value. Just because you broke up with a gf or bf doesn’t mean that you didn’t enrich that person’s life for the time that you were with them. Even if you just dated someone for a few dates, you should have learned a bit more about attraction and had some good conversations too. Don’t undervalue these things, even if they were short term!