All Posts Tagged With: "stress"

Investing In Myself

So, for some time now, I have been feeling like I need to take up yoga again.  There has been a lot of unbalance in my relationship (though things are absolutely fantastic right now, if you don’t count the fact that Jake woke me up with his snoring last night).  Additionally, work is a bit hellish at the moment, and I have been able to feel my body storing up rage.  I got so frustrated loading the dishwasher the other day that I broke two glasses.

So I sucked it up, went down to the campus gym (I work at a university, remember, so we have great facilities) and signed up for the regular gym membership.  Then I shelled out extra for the group exercise membership and for the yoga/pilates membership (an extra $200!).  The regular gym membership is another $200 although that’s withheld from my paychecks throughout the year and so is pretty painless, but the total that I was shelling out was over $400.  For someone who is still trying to pay off credit card debt, that’s a heckuva lotta cash.

Then I went to my first yoga class yesterday, and knew instantly that it was worth it. Continued

Revelations Part III: What’s Your Fighting Style?

This is Part III of a series. You can read Part I here and Part II here.

Despite (or perhaps because) this is the revelation that I had first and feel is most important, it is the last (and hardest) to write. I started off by calling the post “what I could do differently,” and then I tried to come up with a name that had something to do with compromise, but nothing was working and I just couldn’t get started.

Then I had a conversation with Jake this morning before leaving for work that cleared things up for me. Despite not being especially philosophical, he is definitely a logical thinker because of his profession :-) Here’s what I realized:

There’s a lot of focus out there on people’s so-called “love styles.” In case you haven’t heard of this, you can read about it here, here, here, or here (For starters. There are similar quizzes everywhere). The styles are physical touch, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation, and acts of service. However, each and every “love style” is more than that – it is also a preferred communication style, which means it’s also your fighting style. And it’s just as important to know how to communicate when your relationship is under stress as it is when everything’s great (maybe more so). Continued

Finding Our Center Again

My last post got so many comments that I thought it would be easier to address them in another post.  I want to say that I appreciate everyone’s concern and support – just don’t be offended that I’m not taking any of your advice.

Yes, the BF’s had a pretty shitty pattern of drinking lately.  Remember, last year his pattern was to not eat or drink, which is how he got his kidney stone.  Personally, I think that a kidney stone is a way worse health consequence than being hung over, and the fact that last week was almost one year to the day as the kidney stone just goes to show how specific his stress is to the summertime.  He hasn’t had any alcohol since, so we’re both monitoring the situation and going from there.

Continued

Summer Lovin’…or Not

Sorry about the long absence, my peeps!  It was due to a multitude of factors:

  • I went out of town for a few days for some freelance/contract work,
  • When I got back parking & transportation services had moved my car (I was parked on campus) and I (and the police) thought my car was stolen for a horrible, horrible 24 hours,
  • I caught a disgusting cold that laid me up for most of a week (stupid airports/airplanes), and
  • By the time I was better I’d given it to the BF (and we all know sick guys are wussier and take more caring for than sick girls do), and
  • Lance basically hadn’t posted in months and I decided that my responsible and regular posting was only enabling him, so I went on strike to make him post and find out what he was up to.  Hey!  It worked!  You can send your eternal thanks to honey [at] honeyandlance.com ;-)

Every day I have said that I’ll write a post when I get home from work, but pretty much all that was happening was that I was experimenting with different varieties of homemade soup (yesterday I made watermelon gazpacho and it was amazing) so here I am writing away at work.  I’m naughty that way. Continued

Moving Closer: Anger, Recession, and Relationships

Well, we’re finally in our new place (phew!).  I have to say that while moving is unequivocally not fun, I think that this move has brought us closer in many ways, and I don’t just mean the fact that my commute went from an hour plus to about 10 or 15 minutes.  I mean the BF and I are closer, and this is a very good thing.

Despite the fact that he obviously adores me, I have had lurking insecurities about this relationship from the beginning – not because of anything he’s done or hasn’t done, but because that’s just the way I am.  Statistically, every single one of your relationships will fail except maybe one, and that is only if you are very lucky.  Plus, there’s no way you can know in advance if that’s “the one,” so while you may believe it at certain points, all too often you are later proven wrong (this has certainly happened to me before).  So even though everything has been going very well on the surface, it is extremely difficult for a Virgo like me to not keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.  You know, for him to really get to know me and decide that, well, he doesn’t like me so much after all. Continued

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