By Lance on Aug 15, 2011 in Sex | comments(12)
I found Juliet Jeske’s post, Dating After Divorce In a City of Sluts, via the Evan Marc Katz blog. Jeske is a divorced comedian and artist in New York City. She’s starting over in the NYC dating scene and frustrated with how fast things move in the dating world. Her complaint is a common one, that sex happens too fast and guys want to get laid on the first date.
I’m a big believer in fast sex, before any kind of gf-bf relationshop has been established. There are good reasons for this, which I will address in a followup post. For now, let’s go with the assumption that guys want to have sex early and women get pissed when we do. What should Jeske do?
By Lance on Aug 8, 2011 in Relationships | comments(6)
After having had several LTR’s the past few years, I’ve got it figured out how a relationship works. Here it is.
Firstly, my simple model of evaluating a relationship is spot on. There are two components, Companionship and Sex, and I rate them on a scale of 1-10. For me, the sex has to be at least a 9 and the companionship a 6. If I have those two things at those levels I’m pretty much set. I don’t bother overthinking all the stuff that goes into a relationship (communication, commonalities, pets, religion, etc) because those are details and the details are malleable.
By Honey on Mar 14, 2011 in Sex | comments(4)
Hey, all, Lance asked if I would come out of my bloggy retirement briefly to weigh in on sexual compatibility and what it means for Jake and I. Happy to do it!
First of all, I don’t think physical attraction is the same thing as compatibility. There have been times I thought it was, right up until the moment I started to get down and dirty with a guy, only to not be into it at all or (even worse) repulsed by the whole thing. Which is not to say that the guy was repulsive, or that he wanted to do anything repulsive, only to say that for whatever reason (pheromones, maybe?) we just didn’t do anything for each other at all. Talk about awkward, ugh. Continued
By Lance on Mar 13, 2011 in Sex | comments(5)
Howdy Sex Panthers!
Lately I’ve been talking about sexual compatibility and we have a roundtable in the works on the very subject. This post is my kickoff entry.
I’ve established that sexual compatibility is super important in a relationship, so when I’m dating, I want to know as soon as possible if I’m sexually compatible with a woman. Ideally, I would get this information within the first hour or two of a first date, but occasionally I can establish sexual compatibility prior to the first date, like in the email stages. I believe this is something that most people skip over or assume will work itself out during the relationship building process, which is a huge mistake. It’s often too late when you find out if you really connect in the bedroom and this leads to all sorts of problems, not the least of which is an unfulfilling sex life.
By Lance on Feb 18, 2011 in Featured, Relationships | comments(7)
1. Sexual Compatibility
Pretty simple, right?
My past two relationships, both of which lasted over a year, helped me crystallize what differentiates a good relationship from a bad one.
I’ll briefly describe my last two LTR’s and then put some structure to my relationship model.
By Lance on Feb 9, 2011 in Sex | comments(6)
My good pal and uber-dating coach Evan Marc Katz posted a link to this article in New York Magazine. The article, by Davy Rothbart, is called How Porn Is Affecting the Libido of the American Male. It’s a solid article and provokes thought. I encourage you to open another tab on your browser, read it, and then come back to this post for some Lance goodness. After you’re done, leave me some comment love. BTW, this post is NSFW, so don’t go past the jump if you’re squeamish when you see words like cumshot, masturbation, or pornstar sex.