All Posts Tagged With: "romance"

Sexplorations in 2010

The morning that we were going to leave for our NYE trip to Vegas, I was looking for a gift certificate for one of the restaurants we were going to eat at. I couldn’t find it where I thought it’d be, and then remembered that Jake sometimes takes the gift certificates I buy and keeps them in his briefcase, so since he was still asleep I checked there.

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Negotiation: Get What You Want By Giving

The second of the two presentations at the professional development conference I attended last week (you can read about the first one, “recession-proofing your personal relationships,” here) was on negotiating. Now, the conference was sponsored by a woman’s professional organization, so that’s what the focus (and most of the supporting anecdotes) was on, but I think there’s value in it regardless of your gender.

“Hard” versus “Soft” Negotiating

This is one of the core principles of the well-known book Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury. Essentially, hard negotiation (often called competitive negotiation) is about using whatever means necessary to get whatever it is that you want. Soft negotiation (often called integrative or cooperative negotiation) is about maximizing both parties’ returns – even if it means giving up something that you really want. Continued

Insight Into A Guy’s Mind

Last night I decided to create a surprise for Jake when he got home.  It was all inspired by these fancy cupcakes that were on sale at Fry’s.  I don’t eat sweets, but Jake loves them, so I got him a layered, frosted, cream-filled German chocolate piece of deliciousness.

Sunday, he’d taken some wild turbot fillets out of the freezer.  I am always leery when he does this, as he has a hectic schedule and doesn’t cook very often (and I am also sort of opposed to eating fish at home and don’t like that he even buys it).  But by Tuesday, it was clear: cook the fish tonight or it was going to go bad.

So I used a citrus rub that he’d bought recently, some olive oil, and some fresh lemons to create a marinade.  I broiled it for 5 minutes a side and then put it on a bed of quinoa flavored with shallots, garlic, and leeks as well as a “chicken” vegan bouillon, and served it with what is probably the last of this season’s fresh corn on the cob.
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A Recent E-mail Exchange: Or, I’ve Become the Cliche

So, as I’ve mentioned before (though not super recently), Jake and I set the date: May 12, 2012.  We’ve already made some decisions:

  • The wedding favors will be M&M’s with our initials
  • Jake’s in charge of the cake

We were discussing engagement rings recently because I’d sent him an article from The Atlantic about how shady and terrible and manipulative the diamond industry is, and and we basically decided that it wasn’t an industry we wanted to support.  Then we had the following e-mail exchange: Continued

Barack Obama Tells Us What Romance Is

I found this interesting survey on The Frisky: Should your date ask permission before leaning in for the first kiss?

Before I blog my answer, The Frisky did their survey because apparently Barack Obama asked Michelle for permission before kissing her on their first date. This was over Baskin-Robbins ice cream. I thought that was pretty interesting. When I checked the survey results, 53% of respondents said no, he should just read my signals and make a decision vs. 24% that said yes, that’s what a gentleman would do.

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What is Romance?

As my partner Lance (no, not my romantic partner, though you know I love ya, Lance!) points out, there are a great many people out there who think that the traditional Valentine’s Day activities are totally lame. Inexplicably, however, there are a great many people out there who set a huge stock in whether or not these things occur on this particular day. Why is that, and how can you figure out what to do?

For me, it all comes down to the definition of romance. According to the dictionary, romance has its beginnings in the romantic genre of literature, which started in the Middle Ages and was characterized by pageantry (i.e., silly, over the top crap) and heroic deeds. Similarly, while one definition of romantic is “displaying or expressing love or strong affection,” another definition is “fanciful; impractical; unrealistic,” and that’s where I think we get into problems in our relationships (or beginnings of relationships, as the case may be). If one or both people have an impractical or unrealistic idea of what Valentine’s Day represents or what’s genuinely important (or not) to the other person, then everyone’s going to be disappointed, and we all know what that means:

No one gets laid.

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