All Posts Tagged With: "monkey sex"

Here’s a situation I came across that I wanted to share and get some opinions. Check it out:

My work friend Bill and I knocked off work on Friday and planned to hit happy hour. Bill had to check in with his girlfriend before going. He called her, had a long call and ended up getting into a fight, apparently because he asked about going out. He went out anyway. We had some drinks and yukked it up, then Bill and I went our separate ways.

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So I was thinking the other day that since my girlfriend is vanilla as Breyers, I masturbate a ton more than I normally would if I was in a proper relationship with ridiculously good sex. Usually when I flog the dolphin, I’ll fire up the laptop and go to one of my favorite porn sites. These include: xhamster.com, redtube.com, pornhub.com, and tube8.com. This is really the only way I can get through my super boring actual sex life, unless of course I cheat on my girlfriend and have a ONS with a random chick. (Note, NSFW video after the jump).

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So I’ve been kind of bummed lately for love-related reasons. Yes, Lance-daddy gets in a rut too for this stuff, sue me. It’s totally screwed up my creativity, which is precisely the reason why I haven’t blogged much lately. Continued

So it’s been approximately two months since I’ve broken up with Megan and we’re now in this weird zone where we’re not GF-BF, we’re not casually dating, and we’re still sleeping with each other. We’re also technically exclusive. The exclusivity mostly comes from me having suck-ass game right now, as I’ve been on several dates with other women and couldn’t get anything going. Megan has opted not to put herself on the market even though I told her it’s perfectly fine if she wants to do that.

There are pro’s and con’s with this situation and the jury is still out (for me) on whether it’s worth it. I set this situation up on the night of our breakup when I simply said that if she ever wanted to get together for drinks and a sleepover, I would be down with that. Megan was initially against the idea but was clearly intrigued by it. We proceeded to have ass kicking breakup sex that night. And we’ve hooked up many times since.

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(God bless us, every single one of us.)

Haven’t done a Weekly in a while because I’ve been f**king busy, so I thought I’d jump right back into it with a Thanksgiving edition. This is also an update on Big Daddy Lance in case you were wondering what shenanigans I’ve been getting into.

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