All Posts Tagged With: "LTR"

My Advice For a Chick Frustrated With Fast Sex

I found Juliet Jeske’s post, Dating After Divorce In a City of Sluts, via the Evan Marc Katz blog. Jeske is a divorced comedian and artist in New York City. She’s starting over in the NYC dating scene and frustrated with how fast things move in the dating world. Her complaint is a common one, that sex happens too fast and guys want to get laid on the first date.

I’m a big believer in fast sex, before any kind of gf-bf relationshop has been established. There are good reasons for this, which I will address in a followup post. For now, let’s go with the assumption that guys want to have sex early and women get pissed when we do. What should Jeske do?

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Be More Awesome By Being More Specific With Your Goals

I think everyone should set some clear relationship goals before moving forward in their search for dating and mating. This may sound like obvious advice, but I think it’s worth exploring.

For some people, like guys and gals in their 20s, this isn’t so obvious. Ask yourself the question, what am I looking for?

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Relationships Boiled Down To Two Things

1. Sexual Compatibility

2. Companionship

Pretty simple, right?

My past two relationships, both of which lasted over a year, helped me crystallize what differentiates a good relationship from a bad one.

I’ll briefly describe my last two LTR’s and then put some structure to my relationship model.

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Love After Four Years

So, tomorrow is four years to the day that Jake and I met and started a whirlwind and largely long-distance romance.  It’s also two years since we moved in together (more or less).  I feel so, so lucky to have met such a fantastic partner.  Here are some of the things I appreciate most about him:

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The Best Article On Marriage Ever, From The Times

I’m not sold on this whole marriage idea, but I could see myself getting married if I ever decide to shed my pimp status. I guess. Anyway, I found this awesome article in the New York Times about a 30-something couple in California who go to marriage counseling and embark on the project of improving their relationship. It’s the best damn article on marriage I’ve ever read. Continued

How To Qualify A Relationship

I am totally convinced that the 5 love languages are essential to qualifying a relationship. In fact, I think it’s the #1 key to a successful relationship. Forget all this stuff about honesty and respect. Although those are important, too. I’ll explain.

I wrote back in July how your love style can help or hinder you on dates. This was before I knew anything about the Chapman book. At that point I noticed how small conflicts in the way I communicated with my girlfriends could turn into huge issues down the road. But I didn’t have the vocabulary or the principles nailed down to really understand it. Then, Honey turned me onto Chapman in her post here, and I blogged about love styles (ie Love Languages) further when I wrote about insights from dating three chicks at once. Then I read the book. Now, I have a context and a way to quantify communication with my partner.

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