All Posts Tagged With: "Life"

Speaking the Same Language

When I was still taking coursework, one of the requirements was a linguistics class. We read an article about a researcher who studied the language people use when speaking to close friends, relatives, or significant others versus the language that people use when speaking to strangers or people they don’t know as well. The study found that when speaking to people we know well, we have a tendency to use far more pronouns (as opposed to nouns) and other vague referents (for example, using a “code word” that refers to a mutually experienced event or story that both people know). On the other hand, when speaking to people we don’t know well, we have a tendency to use far more nouns (which are more specific) and to tell stories in their entirety.

This plays out in interesting ways when you start dating someone, because once you get past the very initial stages (let’s say about three months, which is my “shit or get off the pot” moment in dating) you have a tendency to start thinking that the other person knows you better than they do…and then you start getting vaguer and vaguer without realizing it. This can lead to misunderstandings if you’re not careful. Continued

We’re Both Getting Fat!

Ah, the cliche of a great relationship: happy people are fat people. I read somewhere on a blog or website written by a guy (or maybe it was on The Real Housewives of Orange County?) that women have an obligation to remain in precisely the physical shape that they were in when they attracted the guy in the first place. No word, of course, on whether the guy has a similar obligation.

Obviously that kind of expectation is impossible, but at the same time I resent the mentality that once a couple is together they can just let themselves go and that somehow their intellectual and emotional connections will be “enough.” The BF has observed more than once that when he and his ex were getting along she gained weight and when they were fighting she’d lose it (he was in fabulous shape the whole time they dated, which I like to think must mean he was miserable the whole time), but this time the fate of most of America has caught up with both of us. While I’m flattered to think that our relationship makes him as happy as it makes me, swimsuit season is almost upon us and this is unacceptable.


(Not liking what I see, plus we bought our home scale at Good Will and it weighs 10 lbs. heavy!)


Drumroll Please…Our Kickass Contest Winners!

Here it is, folks, the moment you’ve been waiting for: the winners of our first ever kickass contest! If you haven’t checked out all our awesome entries, you can check out everyone’s insights (or the links to their insights) in the comments section of this post. The question was

“How do you define successful relationships, and what does it take to achieve that success?”

We used strict criteria of total subjectivity and beating each other into submission over e-mail to agree on our two winners, and were especially thrilled because we had so many awesome entries to choose from. Way to make it tough for us, you guys! Continued

Why I Am A Flawed Human Being, pt. 1

As Lance and I (and practically every other dating site out there) are fond of saying, insecurity is the death knell for any type of relationship. Of course, insecurity has many manifestations, and many of them seem like the opposite of insecurity if you’re not paying attention. For whatever reason, it’s a cinch to to recognize in other people. It’s harder to recognize insecurity in yourself, not least of which because:

  • Who wants to admit something icky about themselves? Plus,
  • Admitting it means that you have to actually do something about it. Denial is a small price to pay for the bliss of inertia. Continued

Ashley Dupre In Hot Lesbo Action

Thank the maker Honey is here to keep this a relatively clean outfit. I have totally descended into pop culture watching, Googling nudie pics of Ashley Dupre, and reading the New York Post.

More awesome hooker news. Apparently Dupre’s million dollar prospects may be drying up. That took all of what…24 hours? See this article in The Post. Girls Gone Wild offered $1M to pose nude, but quickly rescinded the offer when they realized they already had video of her getting nutty during spring break at age 18. This includes nudie and hot lesbo action. Best quote in the universe:

“I personally remember Ashley. She was really at her peak back then. I’m glad I got to her before Spitzer – she looked a lot better at 18.” [Joe Francis, founder of Girls Gone Wild]

In the end, the crew shot seven tapes of Dupre footage – who is now 22 – but had to send her home to North Carolina after they caught her drinking.


The Post, in their infinite glory, have posted TWO galleries of pictures, to include a quasi-striptease during a spring break party, her getting shitfaced and passing out at a club, and some old fashioned skirt lifting.

Sample photo after the jump…


Spice It Up: Traveling Together

Though my days as a carefree (ha!) graduate student are nearing their end, it is officially “spring break” for Honey. And in that spirit, here’s a travel edition of my blog. Traveling with your SO has some fantastic benefits: shared experience and the inevitable inside jokes and stories that result bond you as a couple; you get to get the hell out of your been-there, done-that town and do something cool; when you’re out of the comfort zone that you live in, you’re more likely to get out of your comfort zone sexually. Of course, it’s an intense dose of your SO, and anything that annoys you about him or her is likely to be intensified as a result of so much undiluted time together–kind of like drinking lemon juice instead of lemonade. But, if you’re willing to put a little effort in, you can have an absolutely amazing time. Here you are: Honey’s Top Five Tips for Tantric Travel (okay, maybe not tantric, but the alliteration was just too much to resist…)

Tip #1: Don’t Forget the Pragmatics–A Mini Checklist

Okay, I hate to start out with the boring advice, but you’ll never really be able to enjoy your trip if you don’t feel absolutely confident that everything’s taken care of so that you can relax while you’re away. My BF’s ex got sick on every single trip they ever went on because she was so stressed about things going well.

  • Pack Airborne, painkillers, Kaopectate, and Benadryl in addition to any prescription medications.
  • Hire a petsitter or a housesitter. If you’re nervous about being away, most services will call or e-mail you daily to let you know everything’s all right.
  • Arrange rides to and from the airport. Make sure your return flight doesn’t get you back so late that you have to rush off to work the next morning tired (thus ruining whatever relaxing effect the vacation had).
  • Check the weather for your destination, and pack for inclement weather.
  • Bring at least 150% of the money you think you will spend (twice as much is better, especially if you’re traveling abroad).
  • If you can afford it (and depending on what time you will get in or fly out) consider reserving your hotel room for an extra day on either side of when you plan to be there. Then you can check in or out at your leisure rather than at the hotel’s convenience (I have yet to be able to afford to do this, but can’t wait for the day when I can!). Nothing’s worse than a redeye flight when you can’t check into your room until 2.

I know I’m being a little bit of a Virgo here, but you’ll feel much more free to relax, be spontaneous, and enjoy yourself if you know that everything that can be taken care of, is.