All Posts Tagged With: "iPhone"

Apple Should Just Buy Best Buy And Fire All These Assholes

Best Buy is so douchey. I went in there today to pick up a laptop that the motherboard crapped out on a while back. For one thing, it took them two months figure it out and fix this fucker even though I told them what the problem was because I researched it online, and they didn’t believe me because how should I know anything about computers since I’m not a Geek Squad dork making $9 an hour? Then they returned the thing and said they couldn’t find anything wrong with it and it was probably a software or virus problem, which was total bullshit because I reformatted it like 5 times trying to get Vista off and XP on and then back to Vista because otherwise it voided my service plan. So I returned it after much negotiation and haranguing, they sent it off to the service center in West Hell and held on to it for another month. In the meantime I was using a MacBook Pro that my work gave me which is like getting a blowjob from the hottest blonde in the galaxy in comparison to my laptop. Continued

This Is Brilliant

Some brilliant new apps available in iPhone store for tracking and re-capturing your ex-girlfriend. Includes

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“Stalk-her” and “Calend-her” apps. Download these now. After you’re done, go immediately to and read everything he’s ever written.


I Met My Future Ex-Girlfriend At A Pool Party This Weekend

Got drunk as a skunk on Friday night, accidentally slept with my ex-girlfriend (oopsie!). She dropped her iPhone in the toilet. Twice. Now it’s sitting in a bowl of rice, not working.