All Posts Tagged With: "Honey"

Honey and Lance – The Breakup

No, not me leaving the blog – the breakup when we were dating! :-)  Since I soon won’t be posting anymore, I thought that I’d tell you all the story from my perspective (I’d be pretty interested to hear Lance’s as well).

Lance told the story of the original pickup here, and for the most part it’s pretty accurate.  The only mitigating factors worth mentioning:

  • I was bored stiff on the date I was on.  He was a guy in my yoga class that I’d been friendly with for over a year, and I always thought he was pretty boring.  Turns out I was right.
  • I don’t remember what Lance said when he walked up either, but I do remember that both my date and I were low on drinks and Lance bought me another beer and, like he said, didn’t say anything to my date at all.  I thought it was pretty studly ;-)
  • When he contacted me in the next day or so, he said that he thought my date was totally lame and that I could do better.  I agreed, and he asked me out.  Nice! Continued

A Misunderstanding, Finally Cleared

So, apparently there has been a misunderstanding between Jake and I that I didn’t even know about – but that is now resolved.  Here’s the story:

When I was an undergrad in Florida, I was in love with this fellow I worked with.  Let’s call him Brent.  Brent was an MA student in Literature, and to my eyes intelligent, funny, and good-looking.  I had a raging crush on him, which didn’t seem to be reciprocated – which was fine since I was dating someone anyway. Continued

Honey’s Marriage Makers

So, ever since Lance posted about his marriage makers, I’ve been thinking about mine, and I realized something strange.

In the same way that you always think that having kids, or getting old, or sick, or even winning the lottery is something that’s always going to happen to other people and not to you, I never thought that I would get married. I spent my whole dating life wanting to be serious with someone, but I never fantasized a wedding. I never imagined a dress, or a wedding location, or a honeymoon–it literally never occurred to me. I will admit to imagining a ring, but heck, that’s jewelry, not a relationship. And for those of you who are curious, here’s the only ring I have ever liked.

In any case, this is totally lame, but I spent the whole winter break with the BF, and it’s definitely the most time we’ve spent together (second place goes to a month in Europe–look for an entry about how international travel is the true test of compatibility). Now that school has begun again and I’m driving to and from Flagstaff, I realize how lucky I am that we are so compatible. However, this realization has made being away from him much harder. If I were not going to graduate in May then I would seriously consider leaving, or switching schools, or doing something so that I could be near him.

And then the other day I was alone in my Flagstaff (very cold because the heat was turned off while I was away!) apartment and watching the season finale of The Real Housewives of Orange County. To warn you all now, I’m sadly indiscriminate when it comes to tv–I love everything and will probably recommend it to you–but this was the season finale and one of the women was having her wedding. Suddenly it hit me.

I want to marry my BF. I want to make long-term plans, and strategize to solve our financial problems, and wake up next to him every day, and take care of our pets, and bicker over the TiVo, and everything. I would not be whole without him. For me, this was a completely different realization from knowing that I loved him, which happened after we had been dating only 4 months. Now it’s been about 2 years, and I seriously cannot imagine my life without this person. I definitely have friends and a life that I miss because I drive back and forth, and that life I am missing is something that is satisfying that I could return to if we broke up. However, one of the things that now invests my life with meaning is sharing it with him, and getting his input on my interactions, problems, and triumphs.

I haven’t told him this yet, and in part it’s because he told me after we’d been dating for 10 months that he knew after 7 months that he wanted to marry me. While I drunkenly blurted out that I loved him after 4, I now realize that wanting to marry someone is a completely different admission than saying that you love them. This is something that never even occurred to me prior to about two weeks ago, and I am still trying to fit this into my understanding of the world.

I know this is not a list, and I know that I have advocated making them to you, but this feeling

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is hard to quantify. I think if I had to narrow it down to one thing, it is this: my whole life I felt that I had to put on a bit of a show in order for someone to like me. There was always this nagging feeling that if a guy knew the real me, then he’d run screaming in the other direction. But after this long together, the BF knows the real me no matter how I’ve tried to hide it, and I can be myself. And he’s still here.

Online Dating: Honey’s Greatest Hits

Lance is on vacation, so in honor of his absolute hatred of online dating I thought that I’d throw this post up.  This is one of my absolute favorite Match stories and is dedicated to the following peeps (besides Lance): (1) LisaQ, who asked for more details in the comment section of her article Rules for Breaking Up, (2) The Dateable Dork, who has made it known that she considers online dating to be a metaphorical form of Dumpster Diving, (3) all of you, who I think will really enjoy it.

Setting the Stage

So to set the stage a little, I’d exchanged several lengthy e-mails with this fellow (call him Steve) and I think one phone call prior to meeting.  He had a good job and although I wasn’t totally taken with his photos, he brought them up first and apologized, saying that they weren’t very good but all he had in digital and that he was way better looking in person.  This turned out to be not true, but it’s not like he was a troll or anything.  So I went out with him a couple of times because he was interesting, but avoided anything physically intimate while I decided if I could become attracted to him (which is possible). Continued

Sex & Work Updates

Wow!  Lance’s kinky sextacular has me all jealous.  Though I haven’t been playing durty games in shady hotel rooms on the beach, things have gotten somewhat better since my last post.  I’ve managed to sleep off the majority of my new-job exhaustion, and the BF has been really good about trying to get to bed at a reasonable hour even on the weekend.  This Monday he even got up for work when I did, which has never happened before.

Sex Update

We’re still not having sex quite as much as I would like, but we are managing to get in some solid nooky in in the weekends (including more pool sex…that thing is like an aphrodisiac, I can’t believe that we haven’t been using it more in the last year we’ve been at this place).  We managed to even work in a weekday last week, so I have high hopes that we’re on our way to getting a rhythm in place. Continued

Work, Circadian Rhythms, and Sex Drive

I just finished my second week at a new job (though it won’t feel official until my first paycheck next Friday, when I can finally stop living off my savings).  My job is 25 freeway miles away from my house, so I have to get up pretty early in order to be there by eight.  This has had several ripple effects in my sleep pattern and my sex drive, and also gotten me thinking a lot more about the BF’s sleep pattern and his sex drive, and I’m starting to realize just how huge a deal these sorts of things can become. Continued

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