By Honey on Mar 25, 2008 in Dating, Featured | comments(18)
In reading Lance’s response to Goot, I was forced to ask myself an unpleasant question: why do so many ladies out there hate “players” so much? Because an emotion or reaction like hate (or detest/dislike/despise/disapprove of, if you think hate is too strong of a word) can only be inspired in someone who is threatened by whatever caused the emotion. Generally we don’t admit this, and say things like “I feel sorry for them because…” or talk about karmic retribution or whatever. But, pretty much, saying that we hate players means that a) we think they’re onto something, and b) we’re afraid that they’re going to gain the upper hand with us. So a hatred of players generally revolves around fearing loss of control.
Fear 1. Players Don’t Play The Game. When it comes to dating, most of us imagine pretty much the same things, in the same order. Women may want political and economic equality, but they certainly don’t want equality in relationships–they want the upper hand. After all, most of the traditional rules of dating were designed to give the woman the advantage. One of the appeals of “nice guys” is that their responses are predictable: I talk to you and you buy me a drink.
(I’ll have a cosmo, please.) Continued
By Honey on Mar 12, 2008 in Featured, Marriage | comments(7)
Lance’s weekend roundup linked to this article by Steve Beale on what happens when a woman proposes. The author suggests that while women are responsible for the proposal (in the sense that, if he doesn’t propose, the woman’s gonna leave–and she lets him know this beforehand), men should actually be the ones doing the deed. Hot Alpha Female wrote her own post about how emasculating it is for the girl to propose to the guy. Lance agrees, though he refers to Steve Beale’s hypothesis as “female mind control,” which most girls would not only agree with but also feel pretty good about. I am in total agreement with everyone here that the guy needs to be the one to propose. In case my asserting it doesn’t convince you on its own, let me begin this entry with two of the worst “engagement stories” that I have ever heard.
Story #1: Girl Proposes to Self
This is fantastic. There is this chick that I used to work with who’s very female-power, in the worst kind of way. Apparently her dad was a worthless chode and bowed down to every whim her mother ever had, and so it’s been impressed upon her since an early age that this is what a marriage is. So after she’d been dating her boyfriend for a few years (I want to say three) she decided that the time had come. What’s a girl to do?
Well, she picked a ring out and special-ordered it from a jeweler and had them ship it to her:
Looks harmless, doesn’t it?
By Honey on Mar 4, 2008 in Featured, Relationships | comments(15)
Lance turned me on to this post, which I think for the most part is right on (I take issue with the “surround yourself with women” bit because, if the whole point is to be a little more gender blind, I just can’t get past it). Of course, it’s hard to read something like that without asking yourself what makes men and women attractive. Now, when I was in my early twenties, I took “attractive” pretty literally. In the sense of dark hair, being 6’2″, and oh, yeah–in a fraternity if possible. I have to admit that my opinion on the matter has changed dramatically. My boyfriend does have dark hair and any objective female would agree he’s quite the hottie, but at 5’8″ and never having joined a fraternity, I almost assuredly would have overlooked him in my younger days. What’s he got that I appreciate now that I know better? Well, here’s a list of the most obvious. I have to admit that my own list is motivated by what is most attractive in a life partner–so if your goals are different, then this might not appeal to you. But I kinda think it might no matter what. Anyway, drumroll please:
By Honey on Feb 26, 2008 in Field Report, Style | comments(5)
I was having lunch near campus the other day, and because I happened to be by myself I had the dubious privilege of overhearing three undergraduate girls’ conversation. While they were pretty enough, they were living proof of why youth is boring. And yet, I see girls in their late 20s and early 30s trying like hell to cling to something that was never attractive in the first place! Here are the top 10 reasons why undergrad girls are lame. If you are 18-22, you will really stand out from the crowd if you avoid these behaviors. And, unfortunately, if you are older than 22 you will probably also really stand out from the crowd if you avoid these behaviors.
1. Talk about how icky hard liquor is unless you mix it with something. The undergrads I overheard suggested vanilla vodka with “lots of coke.” I suggest growing the fuck up and ordering, oh, I don’t know, a martini? My personal favorite is a G&T. I also appreciate a solid microbrew or imported beer (not Heineken). Whatever you do, and this goes for guys and girls, if you ever go to a fucking brewery and order a Bud Light you deserve to be shot on sight.
By Lance on Jan 2, 2008 in Life | comments(0)
This is the first time I’ve ever actually written down my new years resolutions, which must mean I’m getting my shit together. I highly recommend doing this because it will force you to set goals and more importantly to analyze the process of reaching those goals. Basically, it turns into a personal action plan. The best way to do this is open a Word file and start typing. Save the file, refer to it every week or so, revise and update. By the end of the year, you should have a nice log that tracked your progress. If you have a blog or personal website, post your goals on it and let your readers know what you’re trying to accomplishment. These people will encourage you and give you a ton of motivation. They may also harass you endlessly if you put some ridiculous goals on there like I did.
By Honey on Jan 2, 2008 in Life | comments(0)
It’s funny that you mention New Year’s Resolutions, because if you are in a couple then you are making resolutions not only to improve yourself, but also your relationship. When I originally suggested this, the BF said that every day is a chance to remake yourself and be the person you want to be, and that it was stupid to use something like New Year’s as an artificial starting point. Funny, he was right there with me at LA Fitness where we now have a co-membership. More on monogamous relationships and weight gain in the near future.
My independent resolution was to try and wear my contact lenses more often because my BF likes it. I have a tendency to wear my glasses because a) they are fabulous Versace frames, b) once you have sunk $400 between frames and lenses you’re determined to get your money’s worth, and c) because when I was in high school/college I wore the same pair of contacts for four years (not the same prescription, mind you, the same pair) and got a horrible protein infection. Ever since, my contacts give me the heebies after 4 or 5 hours so I tend not to wear them as much. So for those of you contact lens wearers out there, practice proper lens care. Nothing says sexy like not having a backup pair of glasses except for your ugly, out-of-prescription glasses that your mom told you were “tasteful” in middle school.
Here are some additional resolutions:
- Keep plugging away at school and graduate in May. Jesus God, I’ve been in school forever. The time has come to enter the “real world.”
- Put some freakin’ money in the savings account so you can pay for things occasionally. The BF has student loan payments, too.
- Get a kickass day job in the same city as the BF. This driving 300 miles/week is getting old (more to come on distance relationships).
- Go to the gym 4 days per week (Lance is deluding himself) and get down to pre-grad-school weight. The true goal here is to lose at least 5 lbs. by February and at that point hire a personal trainer (an expense I’ll be sharing with the BF). I want to have the stomach of a supermodel by the summer and reward myself with a new bikini and a Caribbean cruise after I graduate.
- Hey Lance, there’s an awesome World Famous Mud Run at Camp Pendleton, the Marine Corp. base in Oceanside/San Diego. I did it two years ago, had a blast, and am checking my calendar to see if I’m able to do it again this year.
- Fucking learn how to quit when I’m ahead when gambling. I was up over $600 at one point at the casino the other day and ended up down $130. Motherfucker.
What do you want to learn/do this year? When I was younger I made 10 resolutions and counted myself successful if I achieved 3. Now I try to only set goals that I’m motivated enough to work for, New Year’s or not.