I had this one amazing night over the weekend, probably the funnest night I’ve had all year. I’m going to write this one field report style, so it’ll be fast and furious with little embellishment. There’s some good tactics and a few new things I tried.
All Posts Tagged With: "goals"
A friend of mine graduated last week, so one week after packing up and leaving Flagstaff “for good,” I drove back to attend a department picnic and to attend her graduation party. Although she’d been planning this party for some time, attendance wasn’t what she was expecting, largely because so many other people were graduating that weekend everyone was committed to something-or-other. As a result, while a few of my friends were there, her party mostly consisted of herself, her husband, her parents, and her in-laws. This was fine with me because I get along great with people who are older than me–in fact, I generally prefer them to people my own age.
However, it got me to remembering when I met the BF’s parents, and when he met my dad (my mom passed away when I was 18). In fact, it struck me that meeting the parents isn’t really any different (aside from the age difference) from meeting the other person’s friends. The question becomes, how do I impress someone who has a vested interest in, and therefore a desire to protect, the other person–and who is more than willing to do that at my expense?
First of all, hi everybody! I moved in with the BF this past weekend and it’s been a flurry of activity, as I’m sure you can all imagine. Fortunately I hired movers to load and unload, and the BF drove the truck (I followed behind in the car so we wouldn’t have to tow anything), but there was more than enough packing, unpacking, and moving of furniture to keep me busy since Friday night. I almost have everything under control here, so I should be able to focus a little more on the site from now on (especially since I am procrastinating my search for a day job)!
When Lance said that we should write this week’s double take on getting phone numbers (or e-mail addresses, myspace pages, whatever) I thought it was a great subject. He believes that it’s easy to get a girl’s number, and not so easy to ensure that she picks up the phone when you call (or that she doesn’t flake before your date). I think that his point that you have to really wow her so that you stick in her memory is well taken. However, in my own experience dating the reason that you have to be really sure that you’re coming across as exceptional and not creepy is that many, many times the number that you are given isn’t even the girl’s real number.
When I was doing the club thing, if I wanted a guy to go away I would give him my phone number with the last two digits reversed (sorry, whoever’s phone that was!) or give out the Rejection Line (the local radio station had a fake phone number for people to give out with a mean message about how they’d been rejected and they would play subsequent messages on the morning show). I can only think of one time that I gave a guy my actual number, and the subsequent date was so horrible that I never did it again. So how can you make a good impression, ensure that the information is correct, and arrange that all-important second meetup? Continued
My landlord’s wife found someone to move into my apartment. Great news! They are going to let me out of my lease early so that he can move in. However, in order for all this to happen, I need to be out of the apartment by Sunday, May 11. Egads! So I have reserved a U-Haul truck and movers on either end to load/unload the truck. Now I am packing like a fiend. I actually don’t own a ton of stuff and 1/3 of it has already been moved to Phoenix, so this is not going to be too tough. I find that now that everything is happening, though, there are mixed feelings (about the move, not the BF). Continued
Ah, the cliche of a great relationship: happy people are fat people. I read somewhere on a blog or website written by a guy (or maybe it was on The Real Housewives of Orange County?) that women have an obligation to remain in precisely the physical shape that they were in when they attracted the guy in the first place. No word, of course, on whether the guy has a similar obligation.
Obviously that kind of expectation is impossible, but at the same time I resent the mentality that once a couple is together they can just let themselves go and that somehow their intellectual and emotional connections will be “enough.” The BF has observed more than once that when he and his ex were getting along she gained weight and when they were fighting she’d lose it (he was in fabulous shape the whole time they dated, which I like to think must mean he was miserable the whole time), but this time the fate of most of America has caught up with both of us. While I’m flattered to think that our relationship makes him as happy as it makes me, swimsuit season is almost upon us and this is unacceptable.
(Not liking what I see, plus we bought our home scale at Good Will and it weighs 10 lbs. heavy!)
So we posed the question–
“How do you define successful relationships, and what does it take to achieve that success?”
I have given this a lot of thought (and everyone’s comments and blogs on the subject were great fodder for that thinking, so thanks, everyone!). As many of you have pointed out, there are so many things that are “musts” in relationships that it’s hard to pick just one. However, I think that all of the musts that are out there boil down to one thing, and it’s simpler than most of us are willing to admit:
A successful relationship is one where both people are looking for the same thing, and find it in each other. Continued