All Posts Tagged With: "game"

(photo credit MSNBC Media)

There was some interesting stuff in the media recently about Paul Janka, a dating coach living in New York City. He was interviewed on the Today Show by Meredith Vieira and Jennifer Schneider, a sex addiction doctor. As can be expected, the interview wasn’t really an interview…more like a chance to out Janka and sensationalize the fact that he’s slept with a lot of girls and that he’s created a system for making that happen. And that he’s totally honest about it (gasp!). You can watch the original Janka segment here. It’s interesting and well worth the eight minutes (Janka’s body language alone is worth the viewing). Janka doesn’t get rattled and he does a good job answering non-confrontationally, even though they ask ridiculous questions. Yeah, mainstream media at it’s finest again.

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Honey and I have been kicking around the idea of writing about our ideal first date. I had to think long and hard about this one because I’ve had a lot of first dates and a lot of them stood out. They’re all pretty different, though, and a lot of it depends on the chemistry of the two people. I’ve had plenty of first dates where we didn’t go anywhere special, but the chemistry was amazing and we had a blast.

Here’s my idea of a perfect first date. It’s not really a date at all, but more like a combination pickup and instant date. This post doubles as my entry in the dadshouseblog contest.

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Alright, here’s the report from my glorious weekend. I got blown out by two of my prospects and I pulled a new girl in one of my fastest pickups. There were some awesome insights from all three encounters. Before I launch into the field report, I want to say that all three girls are cool, attractive women, and I definitely like them as people and not just as sex objects. This is me not being a douchebag :p Onwards!

(My weekend ended with a bit of this. Did yours?)

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Okay dudes, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the difference between good dates and bad dates. A lot of it comes down to having good conversational skills…all the advice out there says that exchanging information and interviewing each other is LAME, which is correct. “What’s your job? Where are you from? What’s your favorite color? What color are you panties?” Next! You want to find ways to connect with a person on a deeper level.

I’m a pretty kickass conversationalist–yeah, I said it–so I sat down and analyzed what I did. It boils down to being able to articulate well, developing multiple threads, and having great content (it’s kind of like blogging actually). I’m assuming you’re a good speaker and can maintain multiple threads, so what I want to do is analyze the content side of the equation. In my mind, having good content the key to excellent conversation. Basically, you want to have material that gets both parties engaged.

Here are 9 ways to pump up the content of your conversations:

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I had this one amazing night over the weekend, probably the funnest night I’ve had all year. I’m going to write this one field report style, so it’ll be fast and furious with little embellishment. There’s some good tactics and a few new things I tried.

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Holy crap, how come I get all the crazy ones? You know this girl Kitty I’ve been banging, er, dating? Well, things have definitely gone into the shitter with her. Here’s what happened.

I was out of town for a week and the whole time Kitty and I communicated. Cutesy texts, emails, even a couple of phone calls. It looked like this thing might be a decent deal. We planned to meet for drinks on the Sunday that I got back. Sunday rolled around, I went to the bar where we were supposed to meet and she stood me up over text. Yeah, that’s right, she texted that she was too tired from working (she worked occasional weekends at a hospital) and couldn’t make it. Okay. I was miffed, but I blew past it and actually ended up having a rocking good time anyway. I called up some pals and partied with them. Screw it.

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I got into a discussion about game recently with Holly Hoffman (cough cough *hottie*), author of Worklovelife.com, and it got me to thinking about getting numbers and converting them to dates. I consider myself an intermediate social artist, but what I am good at is getting phone numbers. I can talk to virtually any girl I meet, make a connection, and within 5-10′ I can number or email close. That doesn’t make me a badass pickup artist or anything…getting numbers is an step towards advanced game, but it’s one area that I’m adept at. So what I’d like to do is offer my perspective on getting numbers and setting up dates, and Honey is going to offer her version. For purposes of this post, when I say number close, I also mean email, Myspace, Facebook, or any other type of contact info.

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I engineered a meetup with Kitty on Sunday night, but I didn’t close. Here’s what happened. I ran my text game as described in my previous post. She responded that she was interested but was spending the day with family. AND, she thought she was coming down with a cold (yeah right), but if she was feeling up to it, she’d contact me tonight. Cool, it looked like there was still a connection and my unintentional jackass move from yesterday didn’t blow me out.

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My date with Kitty was killer. Here’s how it went down.

Firstly, I was well dressed. I wore a cool pair of jeans and a badass, dark green, long sleeve shirt I save for special occasions and first dates. The shirt is fitted, so it shows off my upper body well. This is a nice detail that has gotten me compliments in the past.

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Smooth! Artsy Chick didn’t flake on me, so I must have run some decent game afterall. We met at Starbucks at the appointed hour. We both ordered tea, sat at a table outside, and conversed for 45′. Excellent conversation, topics ranged from travel to art to mountain biking to our respective degrees in Fine Arts. We had a lot in common. I would characterize this stretch as generally flat in attraction, mostly because we sat across from each other, talked, and no kino. We definitely weren’t flirting, it was just a getting to-know-you period. Artsy Chick was a very good conversationalist, easily my equal.

I told 2-3 solid stories, and during one story about me dealing with some funny relationship drama, she leaned way across the table and listened closely. Decent little spike there.

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