Following up on Honey’s post about safety and my post about keeping it real, I wanted to lay out how I generally do first dates. Much of this involves strategies and tactics that I learned from studying pickup. Keep an open mind, especially if you’re a chick, because this will sound off-putting at first. I’ll draw some conclusions and give recommendations at the end. This post does not cover bar pickups, day game, or other quick seduction methods.
All Posts Tagged With: "first dates"
Similar to dadshouse’s entry on how a woman he met online didn’t want to meet up for a hike on a first date, Lance’s date refused to come over and let him cook dinner for her at his house. Like DM, Lance is frustrated by the fact that women feel unsafe in their initial encounters, largely because it either leads to “sipping Bud Lights while we stare at each other across tabletops and play word games and play dress up” (Lance) or “coffee dates, those fact-finding information exchanges that modern singles embrace as necessities like college-bound kids taking the SAT” (DM).
Where do you, the readers, draw the line? Continued
It’s been a whirlwind week! Here’s what’s going on in Honey-land.
At my recommendation (I’d seen it before), I took the BF to see Stomp. If you haven’t seen this show, which includes a variety of dancing, percussion, and comedy (despite no dialogue) I highly recommend it. The show was sold-out and a great experience, PLUS I wore a really cleavage-revealing dress that, in the BF’s words, “made me giggle” because he gets to openly ogle them. (This was obviously part of the plan. I’d put edible glitter on them, after all!).
See here. Normally I like Lynn’s stuff, especially her Breakup Girl blog, but the inner-pimp in me hates the idea of a “rule” where guys have to pay if they do the asking. Fellas, stop buying dinners on first dates! Just don’t do it. Paying for dinners is approval seeking and that’s not what us playerz do.
My thought process is this. On a first date, you’re essentially meeting a stranger, especially true if you met the person online. If a stranger, guy or girl, walked up to you on the street and asked you to buy them dinner, would you do it? Hell no! It’s not your responsibility to feed hungry women, as attractive as they may be. And don’t talk to me about romance, chivalry, or being a cheapskate. That stuff is crap.
So, in case you didn’t know, I won the First Date contest over on Dad’s House! Check out DM’s original post with the contest parameters (plus all the awesome comments left by his readers) as well as his follow-up post with an analysis of all the fabulous entries (plus links, of course).
I enjoy the writing, the sarcasm, and the brutal honesty of DM’s blog, and I’m totally stoked to win a $25 Amazon eCard (which I will probably spend on the next books in George R.R. Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire series, as I just read the first two of the series as part of my vow to the BF to Make The Most Of My Unemployment). Yes, you heard right, I read fantasy novels. What of it?
Even if you’re not unemployed with scads of free time like me (that is, when I’m not driving my boyfriend to the Emergency Room because he has kidney stones), check out all of the entries, linked in his follow-up post. They range from the practical to the laugh-out-loud hilarious, especially my fine entry, here. Okay, okay, check out Lance’s entry while you’re at it. Any post that contains the phrase “fuck like wildebeasts” is worth the read, even if he did spell wildebeest wrong.
Is 5:30 in the afternoon too early for a beer? Not if it’s a self-congratulatory beer!!! Peace out, peeps.
Okay dudes, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the difference between good dates and bad dates. A lot of it comes down to having good conversational skills…all the advice out there says that exchanging information and interviewing each other is LAME, which is correct. “What’s your job? Where are you from? What’s your favorite color? What color are you panties?” Next! You want to find ways to connect with a person on a deeper level.
I’m a pretty kickass conversationalist–yeah, I said it–so I sat down and analyzed what I did. It boils down to being able to articulate well, developing multiple threads, and having great content (it’s kind of like blogging actually). I’m assuming you’re a good speaker and can maintain multiple threads, so what I want to do is analyze the content side of the equation. In my mind, having good content the key to excellent conversation. Basically, you want to have material that gets both parties engaged.
Here are 9 ways to pump up the content of your conversations: