My good pal and uber-dating coach Evan Marc Katz posted a link to this article in New York Magazine. The article, by Davy Rothbart, is called How Porn Is Affecting the Libido of the American Male. It’s a solid article and provokes thought. I encourage you to open another tab on your browser, read it, and then come back to this post for some Lance goodness. After you’re done, leave me some comment love. BTW, this post is NSFW, so don’t go past the jump if you’re squeamish when you see words like cumshot, masturbation, or pornstar sex.
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Evan Marc Katz recently wrote a thought provoking post called, Can he Really Be A Good Guy Who Just Got Scared And Bolted, Or Am I Right To Wonder About The Strength Of His Character? In it, a woman named Dee Ann described a guy she dated for a month that she had an awesome connection with. The guy disappeared, no explanation, no contact, poof. Two months go by and the guy contacted Dee Ann out of the blue, apologied profusely and stated that stress caused him to disappear. They eventually start dating again. She wrote to Evan seeking advice and wondered about her man’s integrity.
There’s a great discussion going on at Evan Marc Katz’s blog where he asks the question, should I date a 7 or hold out for a 10? The gist of what he’s saying (forgive me for paraphrasing this badly) is that most people with 10 looks are screwed up and it’s better to go for the stable, well rounded 7, because they make better life partners. One thread in the comments is that the perfect 10, someone who is a 10 in looks AND in personality, is so rare, that it is folly to hold out for them. I advised readers to hold out for 10’s and I got dinged pretty good in comments (which was actually totally cool).
I have several points I want to make: