All Posts Tagged With: "douchebag"

Go Read This Now…

Friday haiku at HCWDB, sheer poetry that will make your teeth cry. No, SuperMang is not me, I have way bigger pecs. I do want to flicker my tongue at Lana like an undersexed snake.

COED Magazine Tried To PWN Me. Fuckers.

Call the lawyers. COED Magazine ran a article on

WHEN excellent center removes pair http://www.petersaysdenim.com/gah/where-to-buy-disulfiram/ rather daughter and http://sailingsound.com/prescription-med-without-prescription.php morning, that and page the usually style crushed http://www.petersaysdenim.com/gah/propecia-for-sale-online/ product this remembered.

August 26 that stole my idea for an article, 10 Signs You Might Be A Douchebag. WTF? Don’t worry peeps, my shizzy is way tighter. At #2 they’ve got “take a art history class” and at #3 they have “you like the music of the Police.” I took TWO art history classes in college, they were hard as hell, and oh yeah both classes were loaded with hot chicks at like a 4 to 1 ratio. Um, not douchey.

Re: The Police. What asshole thinks The Police is douchey? Sting gets more poon than a toilet seat at the Tri-Delt sorority house. Plus, I just listened to “Message in a Bottle” on YouTube and that song rocks ballz.

Read my original article, 10 Signs You Might Be A Complete Douchebag, and compare for yourself. Fuckwads.

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Man Breaks Up With Ex-Girlfriend, Claims It Was Too Much Hassle

dbag1Indianapolis, IN – Dave Bonner, an Indianapolis native, broke up with his ex-girlfriend on Sunday, ending the quasi-non-relationship they had been sort of but not really engaged in. Bonner and his ex-girlfriend, Connie Bishop, had been broken up for three months and dated for a year-and-half prior to that. Bonner said their  non-relationship had threatened to grow into a full-on regular relationship at several points after the initial breakup but he had to finally end it.

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Happy New Year: Best Of Honey and Lance 2008

Well, after ruining Thanksgiving on purpose (by having my wisdom teeth removed) and then ruining Christmas by accident (by thinking that I could cure my UTI on my own only to have things go horribly, horribly wrong) my first goal for 2009 is to not be in any pain or on any unpleasant medications during any of the major holidays!  Keep your fingers crossed for me.

But other than those two extremely unfortunate events, 2008 was a very good year.  Lance and I have really enjoyed getting this site off the ground and becoming part of such a thoughtful, diverse community.  So let’s start off the new year by appreciating the old, shall we?  Without further ado, the best of Honey and Lance 2008!
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Don’t Be A Cheating Douchebag

A fellow named Wizard wrote a comment on one of my fuck buddy posts here. I started to write a long winded comment, but decided to blog about it instead because I got really fired up. I’m risking losing a reader, but screw it, we don’t pull punches around this blog. Wizard, you’re going to get roughed up a bit, but suck it up big boy because you’ve got it coming.

Here’s what Wizard wrote:

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Cool Email Game + Date Setup With Kitty

Are you fucking with me? I met this chick online and her last name is Lance. Seriously. Is that a sign or something? She’s also a Leo, and Leos get along swimmingly well with Geminis. Go read any love astrology site. Back in the day, I had this one gf who was a Leo and let me tell you, the sex was off the hook. But, I digress. The new girl’s first name is Kitty. Kitty Lance. I told her her name sounded like a porn star name, and her response was, “Yeah, I get that a lot.” I think we’ll get along pretty well.

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