For those of you who haven’t been following the sometimes vociferous debates in response to Evan Marc Katz’s latest two posts, do yourselves a favor and check them out. I’m a huge fan of strong opinions but was a little shocked to be told that my dating/relationship style was “selfish” and “toxic,” so I decided to think a little bit more about where my attitudes toward dating come from. One of the other commenters, Kenley, writes
The truth is being a great date or partner is about balance. You have to be both selfish AND selfless…the tricky part is figuring out when to give your needs/wants/desires priority vs when to give the other person’s needs/wants/desires priority. And, I think that balance is different for different people.
Not only do I think that’s the truth of it, I know that for me, how much to give and how much to take has been a huge struggle because of my experiences growing up. Continued