All Posts Tagged With: "disagreement"

Revelations Part III: What’s Your Fighting Style?

This is Part III of a series. You can read Part I here and Part II here.

Despite (or perhaps because) this is the revelation that I had first and feel is most important, it is the last (and hardest) to write. I started off by calling the post “what I could do differently,” and then I tried to come up with a name that had something to do with compromise, but nothing was working and I just couldn’t get started.

Then I had a conversation with Jake this morning before leaving for work that cleared things up for me. Despite not being especially philosophical, he is definitely a logical thinker because of his profession :-) Here’s what I realized:

There’s a lot of focus out there on people’s so-called “love styles.” In case you haven’t heard of this, you can read about it here, here, here, or here (For starters. There are similar quizzes everywhere). The styles are physical touch, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation, and acts of service. However, each and every “love style” is more than that – it is also a preferred communication style, which means it’s also your fighting style. And it’s just as important to know how to communicate when your relationship is under stress as it is when everything’s great (maybe more so). Continued

Moving Closer: Anger, Recession, and Relationships

Well, we’re finally in our new place (phew!).  I have to say that while moving is unequivocally not fun, I think that this move has brought us closer in many ways, and I don’t just mean the fact that my commute went from an hour plus to about 10 or 15 minutes.  I mean the BF and I are closer, and this is a very good thing.

Despite the fact that he obviously adores me, I have had lurking insecurities about this relationship from the beginning – not because of anything he’s done or hasn’t done, but because that’s just the way I am.  Statistically, every single one of your relationships will fail except maybe one, and that is only if you are very lucky.  Plus, there’s no way you can know in advance if that’s “the one,” so while you may believe it at certain points, all too often you are later proven wrong (this has certainly happened to me before).  So even though everything has been going very well on the surface, it is extremely difficult for a Virgo like me to not keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.  You know, for him to really get to know me and decide that, well, he doesn’t like me so much after all. Continued

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