By Honey on Mar 15, 2010 in Life | comments(10)
I won’t lie, peeps. The last month or so has been pretty horrible. I had just given Jake the go-ahead to look for jobs in other states because he’s so miserable and pissed off all the time at his current job that he’s afraid it’s going to be the demise of our relationship. And while I currently have no plans to end things, I know why he’s afraid of that happening – he is terrible at compartmentalizing his anger and so when he’s frustrated he does any of the following:
- Avoids coming home (which he does to spare me his moods but which he doesn’t tell me about until the last second, which leads to me preparing intricate home-cooked meals he’s not around to eat, or me passing on invitations to go out with my own friends and then him calling me at 8 p.m. to say he’s going out, and it’s too late for me to resurrect my own plans),
- Comes home and picks a huge fight with me for basically no reason (like us being out of Propel or me cooking his favorite fish as a surprise for him when apparently he didn’t want fish that day),
- Plays video games for 5+ hours at a time and doesn’t talk to me (he bought a PS3 recently).
He (almost) always apologizes for these things, but it certainly isn’t stopping him from doing it in the first place. We haven’t had sex in almost a month and a couple of times I found myself Googling apartments and hotels because I just didn’t know what to do. (For the record, I still tried to initiate sex – after the fifth or so time he “rainchecked” me I gave up.) Continued
By Honey on Feb 2, 2010 in Featured, Life | comments(19)
Lance and I got into a spirited debate in the comments of a recent post about whether or not parents should shoulder the costs for their children to go to college. Now, this issue is moot for me for a couple reasons:
- I’m not having children, and
- Jake and I have $100K in student loan debt – APIECE – so between funding our retirement accounts (we got a late start on that, too, since we were already about 30) and paying off our own debts, there’s no way we could afford to send our kids to college even if we had any.
However, it does deserve consideration as a thought experiment about what you value, if nothing else. Plus he encouraged me to do a separate post on it, so here you go! Continued
By Honey on Oct 23, 2009 in Relationships | comments(2)
On Wednesday I got to go to yet another training…this one was actually an all-day professional development conference for staff at our institution. Two of the presentations (e-mail in the workplace and locavore/plant-based eating) were disappointing, not because I’m not interested in the topics but because the speakers were terrible.
However, the “Recession-Proofing Your Personal Relationships” and the “Women Don’t Negotiate, But They Should” presentations were pretty rockin’. So, here I am, passing all my rockin’ new knowledge on to you! This entry is inspired by the value I got out of the “Recession-Proofing” presentation, and I’ll do one on negotiations next week. Continued
By Honey on Sep 8, 2009 in Life | comments(2)
As I’ve mentioned before, Jake and I have quite a bit of student loan and credit card debt. I have less debt than he does overall, but proportionally to each of our incomes we owe about the same.
One of the things that sucks the most about paying off debt is that once you’ve done all the big stuff you can (for example, in February we moved into a house a little more than half the size of our previous place, and we also shuffled around our credit cards so he could get better interest rates – my rates were already pretty awesome) then it’s just a whole lot of sitting and waiting for the paying it off part to be done. Which, in our case, means years. Sucky. However, we have made a bit of progress in this area lately due to some windfalls.
By Honey on Jul 31, 2009 in Featured, Life | comments(15)
Lance’s fantastic blog post about how accomplishment makes you more attractive really got me thinking. I feel like what he says is relevant to the negative effect of the BF’s job on his health and decision-making, which has really got the BF and I revisiting a lot of things.
See, he went to grad school for a terminal degree in his field because he knew that he could become very wealthy working in private practice in that industry. What he didn’t bank on was: Continued
By Honey on Jul 8, 2009 in Featured, Marriage | comments(12)
Sorry about the long absence, my peeps! It was due to a multitude of factors:
- I went out of town for a few days for some freelance/contract work,
- When I got back parking & transportation services had moved my car (I was parked on campus) and I (and the police) thought my car was stolen for a horrible, horrible 24 hours,
- I caught a disgusting cold that laid me up for most of a week (stupid airports/airplanes), and
- By the time I was better I’d given it to the BF (and we all know sick guys are wussier and take more caring for than sick girls do), and
- Lance basically hadn’t posted in months and I decided that my responsible and regular posting was only enabling him, so I went on strike to make him post and find out what he was up to. Hey! It worked! You can send your eternal thanks to honey [at] honeyandlance.com
Every day I have said that I’ll write a post when I get home from work, but pretty much all that was happening was that I was experimenting with different varieties of homemade soup (yesterday I made watermelon gazpacho and it was amazing) so here I am writing away at work. I’m naughty that way. Continued