By Honey on Jun 10, 2009 in Relationships | comments(21)
For those of you who haven’t been following the sometimes vociferous debates in response to Evan Marc Katz’s latest two posts, do yourselves a favor and check them out. I’m a huge fan of strong opinions but was a little shocked to be told that my dating/relationship style was “selfish” and “toxic,” so I decided to think a little bit more about where my attitudes toward dating come from. One of the other commenters, Kenley, writes
The truth is being a great date or partner is about balance. You have to be both selfish AND selfless…the tricky part is figuring out when to give your needs/wants/desires priority vs when to give the other person’s needs/wants/desires priority. And, I think that balance is different for different people.
Not only do I think that’s the truth of it, I know that for me, how much to give and how much to take has been a huge struggle because of my experiences growing up. Continued
By Lance on May 7, 2009 in Relationships | comments(21)
So it’s been approximately two months since I’ve broken up with Megan and we’re now in this weird zone where we’re not GF-BF, we’re not casually dating, and we’re still sleeping with each other. We’re also technically exclusive. The exclusivity mostly comes from me having suck-ass game right now, as I’ve been on several dates with other women and couldn’t get anything going. Megan has opted not to put herself on the market even though I told her it’s perfectly fine if she wants to do that.
There are pro’s and con’s with this situation and the jury is still out (for me) on whether it’s worth it. I set this situation up on the night of our breakup when I simply said that if she ever wanted to get together for drinks and a sleepover, I would be down with that. Megan was initially against the idea but was clearly intrigued by it. We proceeded to have ass kicking breakup sex that night. And we’ve hooked up many times since.
By Lance on Feb 11, 2009 in Relationships | comments(16)
Here are three gnarly relationship mistakes that I was involved with earlier this week. These sucked. In fact, they were so bad that Megan and I are now in this weird detente state where we’re not talking to each other and neither one wants to make a move to re-start communication. Relationships are a pain in the ass. Avoid these mistakes like the plague.
By Lance on Feb 6, 2009 in Dating | comments(6)
Seriously? What was MSN thinking? See this column, entitled How To Date Like A Man, by Erin Dailey.
Dailey’s premise is that women should take charge and do the things that men do to get what they really want out of dating. She makes a lot of presumptions and, and while I’m all for generalizations in the world of blogging, I think Dailey has done a sloppy job of offering “advice” and trying to be funny. At least I think she’s going for humor. The thing that burns my scrotum is that her piece ran in Marie Claire AND on MSN Lifestyle, so probably tens of thousand, nay, hundreds of thousands of peeps read it. Oh no, I think I’m…yes, it’s coming…OMFG…I’m going to HURL…
By Lance on Jan 12, 2009 in Dating | comments(6)
Happy New Year! The Thought Leader Interview Series continues, this time with the Granddaddy of Dating Coaches, David Wygant. There’s really not much more to say except that Wygant has some SCATHING things to say about the pickup community. Read on…
You can find David’s product site and blog at davidwygant.com.
By Lance on Dec 29, 2008 in Dating, Featured, Field Report, The Weekly | comments(12)
Peeps, I hope everyone had a lovely holiday weekend. I sure did. It’s a new week, so that means the Thought Leader Interview Series continues. Today we’re featuring one of the smartest guys in pickup, The Asian Rake, who bequeathed us one of the most thoughtful and provocative interviews to date. Be sure to check out his excellent blog, Dr. Asian Rake, and also his website, The Power of Being Asian. Holy cow, this stuff is awesome. Feel free to debate his points in the comments.
“As women continue to gain ground in the professional workforce, especially in socially conservative countries, the male provider mindset will drop away, not entirely, but considerably. In some countries, this might take 40 or 50 years instead of 10 or 20. But it’s bound to happen. When it does, society will have to come to grips with the fact that women want sexual satisfaction as much as men do and that many formal courtship patterns are unnecessary and even irrational.”