All Posts Tagged With: "dating"

Okay, this is a combo field report and weekly roundup. This post is a little late since I was doing Lance stuff over the weekend.

First off, I had to “next” Knockers, the 24-year-old hottie I made out with several weeks ago. What does nexting mean? Here it is. I met her and Fatty of Doom at Chillers on Saturday night. Knockers wasn’t giving me shit in the way of IOI’s and I was purposely giving her the cold vibe to see if she would respond. I had already come into the interaction with low expectations because of FOD, who had cockblocked me twice before. Anyway, we met at the bar at 10:00. At midnight they announced suddenly that they had to go home. This was the final straw for me, so I literally stood up, back turned, and walked out of the bar…no goodbye, no hug, nothing. I heard FOD say goodbye to my back but I didn’t respond. Sometimes it’s better to cut and run and this was one of those situations. These two girls were just too lame for me to hang out with. I hooked up with some friends after that and hung out until the wee hours.

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Well so I went to a wedding of a good friend of mine this weekend and had a blast. It was a gorgeous day, the ceremony was beautiful (not too long), and the reception afterwards was fun. I spent time catching up with friends and meeting some nice new people. Yup, I drank free booze and macked on the chicks, although unfortunately everyone was married or in serious LTR’s. Not a target rich environment, as they say.

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(photo credit MSNBC Media)

There was some interesting stuff in the media recently about Paul Janka, a dating coach living in New York City. He was interviewed on the Today Show by Meredith Vieira and Jennifer Schneider, a sex addiction doctor. As can be expected, the interview wasn’t really an interview…more like a chance to out Janka and sensationalize the fact that he’s slept with a lot of girls and that he’s created a system for making that happen. And that he’s totally honest about it (gasp!). You can watch the original Janka segment here. It’s interesting and well worth the eight minutes (Janka’s body language alone is worth the viewing). Janka doesn’t get rattled and he does a good job answering non-confrontationally, even though they ask ridiculous questions. Yeah, mainstream media at it’s finest again.

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Holy crap, how come I get all the crazy ones? You know this girl Kitty I’ve been banging, er, dating? Well, things have definitely gone into the shitter with her. Here’s what happened.

I was out of town for a week and the whole time Kitty and I communicated. Cutesy texts, emails, even a couple of phone calls. It looked like this thing might be a decent deal. We planned to meet for drinks on the Sunday that I got back. Sunday rolled around, I went to the bar where we were supposed to meet and she stood me up over text. Yeah, that’s right, she texted that she was too tired from working (she worked occasional weekends at a hospital) and couldn’t make it. Okay. I was miffed, but I blew past it and actually ended up having a rocking good time anyway. I called up some pals and partied with them. Screw it.

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This is part 2 of my post on getting numbers and setting up dates. Read part 1 here. I’m going to present three of my interactions and describe why they worked or didn’t work.

Before I launch into it, I want to say a few words on Calibration. Calibration is your sense of how a person is going to react to the things you say and do. The more interactions you have and the more experience you accumulate, the better you’re calibrated and the better you can respond to the other person. Calibration is pretty much fundamental to game, and every social artist will tell you to do thousands of approaches until your calibration is finely tuned. For me, this is where pickup becomes an art form…human interactions go from being awkward, clunky communications to highly interesting (and fun) exchanges. In fact, I want to go a step further and say that an interaction can become transcendent when you have two people with great game communicating with each other.

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First of all, hi everybody! I moved in with the BF this past weekend and it’s been a flurry of activity, as I’m sure you can all imagine. Fortunately I hired movers to load and unload, and the BF drove the truck (I followed behind in the car so we wouldn’t have to tow anything), but there was more than enough packing, unpacking, and moving of furniture to keep me busy since Friday night. I almost have everything under control here, so I should be able to focus a little more on the site from now on (especially since I am procrastinating my search for a day job)!

When Lance said that we should write this week’s double take on getting phone numbers (or e-mail addresses, myspace pages, whatever) I thought it was a great subject. He believes that it’s easy to get a girl’s number, and not so easy to ensure that she picks up the phone when you call (or that she doesn’t flake before your date). I think that his point that you have to really wow her so that you stick in her memory is well taken. However, in my own experience dating the reason that you have to be really sure that you’re coming across as exceptional and not creepy is that many, many times the number that you are given isn’t even the girl’s real number.

When I was doing the club thing, if I wanted a guy to go away I would give him my phone number with the last two digits reversed (sorry, whoever’s phone that was!) or give out the Rejection Line (the local radio station had a fake phone number for people to give out with a mean message about how they’d been rejected and they would play subsequent messages on the morning show). I can only think of one time that I gave a guy my actual number, and the subsequent date was so horrible that I never did it again. So how can you make a good impression, ensure that the information is correct, and arrange that all-important second meetup? Continued

I got into a discussion about game recently with Holly Hoffman (cough cough *hottie*), author of Worklovelife.com, and it got me to thinking about getting numbers and converting them to dates. I consider myself an intermediate social artist, but what I am good at is getting phone numbers. I can talk to virtually any girl I meet, make a connection, and within 5-10′ I can number or email close. That doesn’t make me a badass pickup artist or anything…getting numbers is an step towards advanced game, but it’s one area that I’m adept at. So what I’d like to do is offer my perspective on getting numbers and setting up dates, and Honey is going to offer her version. For purposes of this post, when I say number close, I also mean email, Myspace, Facebook, or any other type of contact info.

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So a reader, Jessica, emailed me in response to my post on relationship experience here. Her main point:

So reading your key to a successful relationship made me think immediately of Catch-22. I really hope we’re not all doomed to relationship failure just because we haven’t had enough failed relationships in the past!

What I think Jessica is assuming is that since your past relationships are, well, in the past, that makes them failures, ie they didn’t last. My thing was that you should accumulate relationship experience as you move towards the next stage of your life (whatever that may be), but on the way all of your relationships should be ones of value. Just because you broke up with a gf or bf doesn’t mean that you didn’t enrich that person’s life for the time that you were with them. Even if you just dated someone for a few dates, you should have learned a bit more about attraction and had some good conversations too. Don’t undervalue these things, even if they were short term!

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My date with Kitty was killer. Here’s how it went down.

Firstly, I was well dressed. I wore a cool pair of jeans and a badass, dark green, long sleeve shirt I save for special occasions and first dates. The shirt is fitted, so it shows off my upper body well. This is a nice detail that has gotten me compliments in the past.

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Are you fucking with me? I met this chick online and her last name is Lance. Seriously. Is that a sign or something? She’s also a Leo, and Leos get along swimmingly well with Geminis. Go read any love astrology site. Back in the day, I had this one gf who was a Leo and let me tell you, the sex was off the hook. But, I digress. The new girl’s first name is Kitty. Kitty Lance. I told her her name sounded like a porn star name, and her response was, “Yeah, I get that a lot.” I think we’ll get along pretty well.

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