By Honey on Feb 2, 2010 in Featured, Life | comments(19)
Lance and I got into a spirited debate in the comments of a recent post about whether or not parents should shoulder the costs for their children to go to college. Now, this issue is moot for me for a couple reasons:
- I’m not having children, and
- Jake and I have $100K in student loan debt – APIECE – so between funding our retirement accounts (we got a late start on that, too, since we were already about 30) and paying off our own debts, there’s no way we could afford to send our kids to college even if we had any.
However, it does deserve consideration as a thought experiment about what you value, if nothing else. Plus he encouraged me to do a separate post on it, so here you go! Continued
By Honey on Nov 23, 2009 in Relationships | comments(0)
They say that the holidays are a time for family – well, maybe. Sort of. Though our relationships with our families are far from typical. Is there anyone who is typical?
This weekend my best friend from grad school was in town because her boyfriend’s parents live here, and they ended up staying with us because his parents didn’t have room (and also because we’re obviously cooler to stay with). Sarcasm and alcohol, just like old times…
Oh, and their 6 1/2 month old baby.
He was very adorable (if periodically cranky) and I shocked everyone when they went out for coffee and left me with him – apparently she and her boyfriend were deciding how much they’d bet that the baby was screaming when they walked back in…but he was sound asleep in my arms. Awww. Continued
By Honey on Jun 5, 2009 in Relationships | comments(9)
Lots of fun things going on right now for me! First of all, I received my diploma in the mail – so it’s Dr. Honey to you!!! Very exciting.
In celebration, I threw away the 5 full drafts of my dissertation with my committee members’ feedback that I’d been saving “just in case.” The BF noticed the giant box was gone out of the middle of our living room when he got home, and was very pleased. I have some other things that can probably be thrown away now, as well (chapter drafts, my proposal stuff, some comprehensive exams drafts and notes) but they’re currently “away” so it’s not as urgent. Continued
By Honey on May 5, 2009 in Dating, Featured | comments(6)
Below is a guest post from a friend I know IRL…sort of. We’re in the same program and have many of the same professional and research interests, although she started long enough after I began that we’ve rarely run into each other in person (we don’t even live in the same town!). We do, however, follow each other’s many blogs, pseudonymous and otherwise. If you like what you read here, check out Demeter’s House.
Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. It’s been four months since my last sexual encounter.
Four months–I know, I know. A terrible sin for a woman in her sexual prime. But it goes back to that tricky question Honey raised last week about when to reveal certain things.
Maybe part of my problem is that I’ve spent too much time over the years with my guy-pals, sitting in creaky wooden chairs at the neighborhood bar as we drank our beers and talked about girls. On those Guinness nights my guy-pals told me that they would never date a divorced woman. And they sure as hell wouldn’t date a divorced woman with children. My guy-pals, who admittedly function under overly-simplistic equations, saw it this way: single mom = needy, clingy woman. And my guy-pals ran from this most ominous breed of female.
When I was sitting around having those beer-induced talks with my guy-pals, I had no idea that I would become the divorced woman. With children. But wait, there’s more. The children happen to have pervasive developmental disabilities.
Running yet, boys?
Continued
By Honey on Apr 27, 2009 in Relationships | comments(14)
No, I don’t necessarily mean the talk as in, the “where is this relationship going” talk that every gal is desperate to have and every guy is desperate to avoid (at least that’s how the stereotype goes…when I was actively dating it seemed to me that every guy wanted to be exclusive by date three and I was like, um…).
No. I’m talking about your talk. It seems to me that for everyone, there is something about themselves that, for one reason or another, they do not feel comfortable revealing to just anyone. Usually this discomfort stems from the fact that whatever the “secret” is, it has the potential to negatively influence someone’s decision about whether or not you are long-term material. I’m talking about that something you don’t feel comfortable revealing until you’ve been dating for awhile so it’s like you are telling a friend who will stay with you through it all…but that you feel dishonest for not revealing sooner because it is like you are tricking the other person, or at least manipulating them by waiting until they feel attached to you before springing the trap.
For me, it is the fact that I stand a 50% chance of becoming quadriplegic by the time I am in my forties.
Continued
By Honey on Apr 24, 2009 in Featured, Relationships | comments(14)
Welcome, everyone! It seems like the last couple of weeks have brought in some new readers. Hooray! We’re glad you’re joining the party and hope you’ll all come back and comment more often. Since we do have some new folks among us, I thought that I’d tell you all a little bit about the BF and me and link you to some of my favorite posts about us. Read on…
Continued
