All Posts Tagged With: "balance"

Emotional Intelligence and Promises to Myself

On Friday, I went to a training on emotional intelligence, and I have to say that it was really interesting.  I’d taken a quiz on emotional intelligence prior to this (check out http://www.queendom.com/) and scored not nearly as well as I would have thought, although firmly within the bell curve. One of the results of the training was to make a contract with ourselves (we were given contracts and the trainer is going to follow up with us to hear about the results) and try to do one thing differently for a month to improve our emotional intelligence.  I got a lot of value out of the session, so I thought I’d try and pass some of it on.

Regarding the monthly contract, I chose to allow my emotions to influence my decisions, which I anticipate will be pretty interesting.  Sometimes I get really frustrated or angry and then my emotions make my decisions for me (which is different, I think, from letting your emotions influence your decisions), and the rest of the time I pretty much disregard my emotions completely.  I’m looking forward to the idea of taking a balanced approach. Continued

How Much Do I Invest in Someone Else?

For those of you who haven’t been following the sometimes vociferous debates in response to Evan Marc Katz’s latest two posts, do yourselves a favor and check them out.  I’m a huge fan of strong opinions but was a little shocked to be told that my dating/relationship style was “selfish” and “toxic,” so I decided to think a little bit more about where my attitudes toward dating come from.  One of the other commenters, Kenley, writes

The truth is being a great date or partner is about balance. You have to be both selfish AND selfless…the tricky part is figuring out when to give your needs/wants/desires priority vs when to give the other person’s needs/wants/desires priority. And, I think that balance is different for different people.

Not only do I think that’s the truth of it, I know that for me, how much to give and how much to take has been a huge struggle because of my experiences growing up. Continued

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