Surround Yourself With High Character People

This is a simple concept but one I’ve found that is adding a lot of value to my life. In the last year or so I’ve been consciously surrounding myself with men and women that I consider high character. At the same time I’ve been shedding my low character relationships. This is creating more opportunity and bringing a lot more love and value to my life. It’s presenting professional opportunities and options for growth. If you’re not already doing this, I recommend starting on this project now.

One of the sports clubs I belong to is filled with hundreds of high character people. This includes firefighters, law enforcement, ex-military, business owners, family men and women, and people from many walks of life. One pattern that sticks out from this tribe is that almost everyone is high character. Because it’s a sports club and we’re constantly on stage during competition, our character is revealed to each other. This makes it easy to identify. Being absorbed into this group I’ve noticed is improving my life and improving my happiness.

What really turned me onto this concept was when I worked out with an ex-Navy Seal about a year ago. The guy radiated charisma and it was painfully obvious that he was a man of character. Just being around the guy made me rethink my priorities and what it meant to be a solid dude. Since then I’ve been trying to be a better guy and surround myself with high character individuals.


  • Pickup Insider – Top Pickup Blogs

    Hi Lance.

    I totally agree with your post.

    I am a strong believer that you end up similar to the people you surround yourself with.

    I also made the decision about a year ago to surround myself with people I want to be more like.

  • Antonio

    Couldn’t that turn into a game of one-upmanship?

  • Shelby Ryan

    Choosing people of high character is good for improving self image as wellas for creating or opening up opportunities. However, don’t forget the friend that you casted aside for the high characters they represent another part of your character, which if you suppress may comback and psychologically slap you in the face.

  • Lance

    I don’t recommend casting aside friends. There’s a natural “sunsetting” of relationships that takes place as you move through life. Think losing touch with college friends 10 years later, that type of thing. Sunset the friends that are of mediocre character and consciously surround yourself with people of high character.

  • Julia Carlson

    It seems the older that I get, the more particular I am about the friends I keep. It certainly isn’t like the days back in highschool when you just had so many friends you couldn’t keep track of. Now, I just have a few friends, but they are all people that add value to my life and have a positive effect on me as a person.

  • Honey

    It’s especially important for men to do this. It seems like Jake went through a stage where he valued friends who were as lazy as he was at that time…now that we are planning the wedding it is all he can do to get the groomsmen to be fitted for tuxes while I have like 8 people planning parties for me and paying for them. He’s jealous, but then I was like, “you realize I have expended huge amounts of effort over the course of YEARS cultivating these friendships, right?”

    I mean, actually, I’m shocked that so many people would go to so much effort for me – but it makes more sense when viewed in that context.

  • Lance

    I haven’t seen a distinction in the importance of the quality of relationships between men and women, but I didn’t think about it that much either. I recommend every adult shed their mediocre relationships and surround themselves with high value, high character people. I’ll be the first to admit, I allowed myself to keep crappy relationships for a looong time, way longer than I should have, out of a demented sense of loyalty. I no longer think it’s loyalty thing, it’s just growing up.

  • Billy Barnes

    That is an awsome idea!
    With someone such as myself, I am at a job where I don’t get to pick the people around me but it really does make total sense.
    They always say you are the company you keep;)

  • Amber

    Just wanted to let you know I really loved this post and I’ll be pinning this on pinterest!

  • Cindy

    I understand you point or view but be careful to remember who you are. Too often you can lose sight of what is important when you try to change your life in this way, friends are friends, relationships are different.

  • Angelique Velazquez

    Wow, this post has really encouraged me to interact with people with high character. If a person is surrounded by low character people, how are they able to cope up with it? By the way, thank you so much for posting this incredible article.

  • andy

    I think this is one of the most important life lessons. Ýou become like your friends. It can be hard to let go of that negative person you´ve been having in your life for a long time but it has to be done for you to be able to move forward. I started my journey after going thru personal power 2 by anthony robins a couple of years ago. I still have alot to work on but the people i have the pleasure of calling my friends today are all high quality people

  • Tom

    I hope you realise that this is essentially social Darwinism, and results in increasingly intense cliques of people with a similarly unrealistic amount of self-respect.

    Those people you cast aside… What are they to do?
    If your answer is to do the same as you (to claw their way up the social ladder by shunning the people who aren’t as funny, clever or attractive as they are) then what do think will happen when they catch you up? What happens when fate puts you back in the same circle as somebody you callously discarded?

    Being able to throw people away is an urban disease. It’s contagious too.

    If you feel like you can enlighten the people around you then step up to the mark instead of slinking away from the difficult parts of yourself that you see reflected in them.

    Our time needs Sangha, not more social climbers.

  • Sandeep Singh

    Absolute truth. Higher ambition needs higher characters.

    Great Philoshophy

  • Con

    Nice tip– yes I think this will really help to enhance your personality too. Its a big plus for having those people around you.
    Thanks for this!


  • Crystal

    This includes firefighters, law enforcement, ex-military, business owners, family men and women, and people from many walks of life. One pattern that sticks out from this tribe is that almost everyone is high character.

  • Cristina

    High character people inspires and motivates the people around them but some can be very competitive. Competition is good because it adds value and challenge in your part.

  • Anne @ relationships blog

    I always say to people, if you pick up a guy/girl at a bar, this alone should tell you what kind of person that is. I believe that if someone is looking for a worthwhile relationship they should look for it at a worthwhile place. That’s where all the upstanding people hang out.

    Great post. I agree with your conclusion.

  • A Big Butt and a Smile

    You know there is truth to this. It definitely cuts down on the drama in your life when you take the time to surround yourself with people who are positive and sharing similar values and goals of yourself – however I often find folk use the idea oh “high character” as a class distinction as well which can be problematic – on a side note – meeting someone in a Bar/Club doesn’t mean they are a “bad” person. “High Character” like to go out and have a good time, it doesn’t mean they are a certain kind of person.

  • Sarah Jane

    I believe that you should surround yourself with people who you are like. People who place low value on friendships, probably aren’t for you, unless you’re on the same wavelength as them. I always think you get what you put into it. If you go for classy people [like I do], then you tend to dress and talk and behave just like they do. I get offended when I see a scruffily-dressed person refer to a rich person as a “Toff” or a “Ponce”. Can’t people just let others be? Stupid bullies. I find many of my rich friends to respect me very highly. I date men who are of a respectable standard. If a person doesn’t respect themselves it shows immensely. They also tend to not respect OTHERS, either. It isn’t about liking people for how much money they have. I just find rich people really do treat me better. A good thing :)

  • youngasiandolls

    I thinks that, High character people inspires and motivates the people around them but some can be very competitive. Since then I’ve been trying to be a better guy and surround myself with high character individuals.Great post. I agree with your conclusion.

  • Ranvir

    It’s always nice to be around people with high characters.