About the Author

Honey's main interests are online dating, long distance dating, and long term relationships. She met her boyfriend on MySpace and they have been exclusive since their first date over three years ago. Currently they live in Tempe, Arizona. Honey graduated with her PhD in Composition and Rhetoric in May 2009. You can contact Honey via email here or online here.

Spring Chicken: Birthday Celebrations!

So I totally missed the deadline for DM’s Spring Fling blogging contest – work has been crazy – how is it my problem that the day before a deadline everyone who was supposed to submit an annual review didn’t know how to combine multiple documents into a single PDF file? Sigh. However, I mentioned it was the BF’s birthday, and since a) he’s a spring chicken/Aries and I wanted you all to know how it ended up going down anyway, I thought I’d combine the two occasions into one fabulous post.

The Quandary: What to Buy?

Every other occasion where I have had to buy the BF a present, I have known exactly in advance what I wanted to get him. This time, however, I looked over his gift list and I was stumped. I wanted to get him something awesome – something special. A gift certificate to buy dress shirts? Not sexy.

Then, saved by fate! The Tempe Festival for the Arts (aka Street Fair) was going to be in town the weekend immediately prior to his birthday. There are lots of vendors at this event that we love – Garlic Festival Foods (yes, we eat

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pickled garlic and then make out – shut up, that’s love), Coyote Country Seasonings (their cucumber red onion dip is amazing), Klapnklip Soy Candles, and Coonridge Organic Goat Cheese. Hooray! So the BF went shooting in the desert with a buddy (the difference between desert and dessert? you want two desserts!) and I took my happy self to Street Fair.

I was a little limited because the BF knew exactly where I was going and made several requests – the Garli Garni from Garlic Festival Foods (an absolutely essential seasoning, we add it to everything), some of the dip mixes from Coyote Country Seasonings, and an organic goat cheese (I chose the Scarborough Fair flavor seasoned with parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme, and it’s fantastic). So what could I buy that he’d never suspect – and would I be able to hit $100, our pre-established birthday limit?

What I Bought

In a stroke of genius, I managed to get a few things from vendors we knew but that we hadn’t tried before – specifically, Garlic Festival Food’s garlic chipotle lime bbq sauce and garlic cooking wine. Then I branched out and tried something new – Tres Classique‘s tangerine infused basalmic vinegar (it’s delicious, and if you love lemon, their Lemon Sauvignon Splash is incredible) and a Pebble Zoo portrait that looks exactly like our recently deceased kitty (these painted rocks are absolutely phenomenal, and no I’m not an affiliate for any of these sites).

But I was still coming up short as far as my limit, so since the BF seemed disappointed that I hadn’t chosen a boring gift certificate for something he needed but didn’t want to pay for, I got him a DSW e-gift card for $50 so he could buy new shoes (which he’s been bitching about for 2 months now). Since he is a boy he already knows exactly what he wants and his size so the fact that these gift certificates aren’t good in-store doesn’t matter.

What We Did

Since his birthday was on a Monday, we decided to do dinner and a movie on Sunday so we wouldn’ t have to worry about whether or not he could get off work. We went to Casey Moore’s Oyster House in Tempe and saw I Love You, Man. Then on his actual birthday he got his card, gifties, and a recipe from one of our favorite cookbooks, the Vegetarian 5- Ingredient Gourmet (Note, ingredient is one of those words that looks more and more like it is spelled incorrectly the longer you look at it. Unicorn and fork also fall into this category.). The recipe turned out to be disappointing (as did the fact that Shake N Bake is made with chicken fat and not veggie) but he loved all his presents and we had hot sex to boot!

Then a couple of days later he was still in bed after I got out of the shower and got hard when I kissed him, so I gave him a blowjob before leaving for work. Now he owes me one – awesome!

If this post made you wish that someone bought you gifties and gave you head this morning, you might also enjoy:

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    You just had to toss the blowjob in, didn’t you! Damn, I miss morning sex. I need a girlfriend.

    Love all the food. Garlic-garlic tongue action sounds… garlicky! True love, indeed.

    dadshouse´s last blog post…Glove Box Condoms

  • http://20-forty.com/ lisaq

    Haha…I’m with dadshouse. I miss morning sex. *Sigh*

    lisaq´s last blog post…Reader Question: How Long Do I Continue Being a Booty Call?

  • http://www.thedateabledork.com The Dateable Dork

    Nice! Sounds like everything went well, and I totally agree that morning sex is completely awesome. There’s nothing like stumbling into work 30 minutes late after a little surprise nookie. : )

    The Dateable Dork´s last blog post…Ah, to be in love again…

  • http://casualencounters.com/blog/ Janak

    Okay, that’s a second astrology reference. You’re going for a Phd, right? You’re that educated and you still think there’s something in astrology?

    WORLDS of wtf over here. Care to elaborate?

    Janak´s last blog post…Quick update – Flight of the Conchords: Business Time

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    Name that author, Janak:

    Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself. I am vast; I contain multitudes.

    Honey´s last blog post…Spring Chicken: Birthday Celebrations!

  • http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/ Single Mom Seeking

    Honey, your posts are getting more hilarious… and even sweeter. I love it! What a lucky guy.

    Ah, yes, morning sex…. Mmmmm.

    Single Mom Seeking´s last blog post…Another dilemma

  • john

    just playing

  • http://simonandcole.com simonandcole

    Honesty took over before I decided to say this. I skimmed the entire thing because I was waiting for a dildo or something to pop out of the bushes. Morning blow job did the trick. Money.

    simonandcole´s last blog post…Who’s B.S. Now?? by Simon

  • http://simonandcole.com simonandcole

    Honesty kicked in right before I decided to leave this comment. I skimmed the whole post hoping that a shower bone session or a dildo would pop out of the bushes. Morning blow job did very nicely, however. Thanks!

    simonandcole´s last blog post…Who’s B.S. Now?? by Simon

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    I’m not a huge dildo fan (I prefer vibrators) but now that you mention it, simonandcole, our new shower is significantly better set up for some hot sex…yet we haven’t taken advantage! Perhaps that’s a goal for this weekend…

    Honey´s last blog post…Social Artistry at Its Finest