Okay, let’s recap. I have a fuck buddy and I picked her up at a bar. Her name is Amber. She’s totally cool. Few more details: age 23, recent grad of UCLA, art history major, likes to party, moving to Spain this summer to teach English. That last piece of info is critically important because it dictates my strategy for our relationship. This is part 2 of Lance’s FB thread. Part 1 is here, and part 3 is here.
I have a fuck buddy. Just thought I’d get personal for a couple of posts. I picked her up at a bar a couple of months ago. I know what you’re thinking…Lance picked up a skeezy ho, screwed her six ways till Sunday, and is jerking her around. Um, no. I have to say, she’s a cool chick and I’ve developed the relationship into a really nice little friends-with-benefits situation. Here’s what I did. This is part 1 where I describe the meet and pickup. Here’s part 2 and part 3.
Also, see this related post on how to set up a long distance fuck buddy.
In reading Lance’s response to Goot, I was forced to ask myself an unpleasant question: why do so many ladies out there hate “players” so much? Because an emotion or reaction like hate (or detest/dislike/despise/disapprove of, if you think hate is too strong of a word) can only be inspired in someone who is threatened by whatever caused the emotion. Generally we don’t admit this, and say things like “I feel sorry for them because…” or talk about karmic retribution or whatever. But, pretty much, saying that we hate players means that a) we think they’re onto something, and b) we’re afraid that they’re going to gain the upper hand with us. So a hatred of players generally revolves around fearing loss of control.
Fear 1. Players Don’t Play The Game. When it comes to dating, most of us imagine pretty much the same things, in the same order. Women may want political and economic equality, but they certainly don’t want equality in relationships–they want the upper hand. After all, most of the traditional rules of dating were designed to give the woman the advantage. One of the appeals of “nice guys” is that their responses are predictable: I talk to you and you buy me a drink.
(I’ll have a cosmo, please.) Read the full article
We got back from San Francisco yesterday, and then I had barely enough time to unpack, repack, and drive back to Flagstaff (whew!). We managed to divide our vacation time fairly equally between my friends (I was there for a conference) and his friends (we were staying with someone he knows from his Master’s degree who lives in the city). We didn’t have time to do everything, but we did manage to do each other! Addendum to my travel advice from before: leave at least one entire afternoon free for a pub crawl. We try to do this in every city we visit–the pure freedom of having to take a cab anyway means no d-driver! Other addenda: Read the full article
Ah, Happen Magazine. I love these people. Really mainstream dating advice that’s so watered down it’s useless or just plain inaccurate. See this article, “Are you dating a player?” The author, Dustin Goot, gives us the 5 signs of a player versus 5 signs of a nice guy. Here’s me taking him to task…
5 signs of a player
He’s bold. True, all players are bold. This is totally a good thing. I mean, who wants a shy guy? Beta. Shy equals wussy. Shy equals indecisive. Shy equals lousy in the sack. Nuff said.