Our First Kickass Contest

Update: A couple of bloggers emailed us and said they wanted to participate but were traveling thru the weekend…this includes Honey and myself (not that we’re eligible for prizes). Thus, we’re extending the contest deadline until Wednesday, April 9. Feel free to jump in.

Okay, people, here’s the deal. We’re holding our first contest. I’m holding the 1st place prize in my nimble little fingers:

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Yes, that’s a $25 gift card from Borders. Redeemable at any Borders Store or online. Modest, I know, but that’s what we got. Pick up that new Eckhart Tolle book you’ve been eyeing.

Second prize is a $15 amazon.com gift certificate, which gets emailed to you.

So the contest is really simple. We’re looking for your take on a relationship question. Respondents can leave their advice/take/perspective in the comments section of this post. If you’re a blogger, feel free to post the response on your own blog and drop the link in our comments. As always, we’re looking for real deal advice, interesting perspectives, and the straight dope. Any embedded stories of wanton sex and extraordinary jackassery will, of course, get special consideration.

Feel free to respond to the comments by using the reply to this comment feature. The point of the contest is to get a bunch of different perspectives in one place and get people flaming communicating with one another. We’ve invited a number of our blogging colleagues to join the fray, to include dating advice columnists, married folk, social artists, and regular people who have interesting opinions.

Honey and I will judge. And by judge I mean pick based on a purely subjective basis. Contest closes on Monday, April 7. We’ll announce a winner next week.

Here’s the question:

“How do you define successful relationships, and what does it take to achieve that success?”

Fire away!!!

Don’t Abuse Your Fuck Buddy (FB pt 3)

This is part 3 of my FB thread. Part 1 is how we met, part 2 is how we closed the deal. This post includes the reflections and insights I had on the process of obtaining an FB. At the bottom I tell the story of how I fucked up a past relationship in true chode-like fashion.

Here are my takeaways:

Read the full article

Why I Am A Flawed Human Being, pt. 1

As Lance and I (and practically every other dating site out there) are fond of saying, insecurity is the death knell for any type of relationship. Of course, insecurity has many manifestations, and many of them seem like the opposite of insecurity if you’re not paying attention. For whatever reason, it’s a cinch to to recognize in other people. It’s harder to recognize insecurity in yourself, not least of which because:

  • Who wants to admit something icky about themselves? Plus,
  • Admitting it means that you have to actually do something about it. Denial is a small price to pay for the bliss of inertia. Read the full article

I Just Did A Kegel (FB pt 2)

Okay, let’s recap. I have a fuck buddy and I picked her up at a bar. Her name is Amber. She’s totally cool. Few more details: age 23, recent grad of UCLA, art history major, likes to party, moving to Spain this summer to teach English. That last piece of info is critically important because it dictates my strategy for our relationship. This is part 2 of Lance’s FB thread. Part 1 is here, and part 3 is here.

Read the full article

How I Met My Fuck Buddy

I have a fuck buddy. Just thought I’d get personal for a couple of posts. I picked her up at a bar a couple of months ago. I know what you’re thinking…Lance picked up a skeezy ho, screwed her six ways till Sunday, and is jerking her around. Um, no. I have to say, she’s a cool chick and I’ve developed the relationship into a really nice little friends-with-benefits situation. Here’s what I did. This is part 1 where I describe the meet and pickup. Here’s part 2 and part 3.

Also, see this related post on how to set up a long distance fuck buddy.

Read the full article

Why Ladies Really Hate Players

In reading Lance’s response to Goot, I was forced to ask myself an unpleasant question: why do so many ladies out there hate “players” so much? Because an emotion or reaction like hate (or detest/dislike/despise/disapprove of, if you think hate is too strong of a word) can only be inspired in someone who is threatened by whatever caused the emotion. Generally we don’t admit this, and say things like “I feel sorry for them because…” or talk about karmic retribution or whatever. But, pretty much, saying that we hate players means that a) we think they’re onto something, and b) we’re afraid that they’re going to gain the upper hand with us. So a hatred of players generally revolves around fearing loss of control.

Fear 1. Players Don’t Play The Game. When it comes to dating, most of us imagine pretty much the same things, in the same order. Women may want political and economic equality, but they certainly don’t want equality in relationships–they want the upper hand. After all, most of the traditional rules of dating were designed to give the woman the advantage. One of the appeals of “nice guys” is that their responses are predictable: I talk to you and you buy me a drink.

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(I’ll have a cosmo, please.) Read the full article

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