Lance’s Take: Key To Successful Relationships

 

“How do you define successful relationships, and what does it take to achieve that success?”

I want to start off by answering the second part of the question first. In my opinion, the very best way to achieve relationship success is with experience. Let me say that again, but this time in bold:

EXPERIENCE

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Making the First Move

This is a response to Lance’s post, which can be found here. When I was single, I mainly did the online dating thing. For me, that meant that “making the first move” generally did not consist of asking the guy out. I’d usually send an e-mail (I think winks are for wimps and non-subscribers) and see if he e-mailed me back. Then I’d use what Lance calls “girly telepathy” to get the guy to ask me out. I met my boyfriend on myspace, and it’s pretty representative of what I’m talking about. Read the full article

What Do I Think About Chicks Making The First Move?

First off, I want to give big ups to everyone who is participating in our Kickass Contest. We can’t wait to see all of the perspectives. This is what the blogosphere is all about, people. The fact that we can put single mothers, pickup artists, and late 20′s virgins in the same space is awesome. And $25 Borders gift cards.

Okay, I’m on the road for work and wanted to pump out a quick post. There’s a great thread on Evan Marc Katz’s blog, which you can find here, entitled, “Should Women Ask Men Out On First Dates?”

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Our First Kickass Contest

Update: A couple of bloggers emailed us and said they wanted to participate but were traveling thru the weekend…this includes Honey and myself (not that we’re eligible for prizes). Thus, we’re extending the contest deadline until Wednesday, April 9. Feel free to jump in.

Okay, people, here’s the deal. We’re holding our first contest. I’m holding the 1st place prize in my nimble little fingers:

giftcard_sm.jpg

Yes, that’s a $25 gift card from Borders. Redeemable at any Borders Store or online. Modest, I know, but that’s what we got. Pick up that new Eckhart Tolle book you’ve been eyeing.

Second prize is a $15 amazon.com gift certificate, which gets emailed to you.

So the contest is really simple. We’re looking for your take on a relationship question. Respondents can leave their advice/take/perspective in the comments section of this post. If you’re a blogger, feel free to post the response on your own blog and drop the link in our comments. As always, we’re looking for real deal advice, interesting perspectives, and the straight dope. Any embedded stories of wanton sex and extraordinary jackassery will, of course, get special consideration.

Feel free to respond to the comments by using the reply to this comment feature. The point of the contest is to get a bunch of different perspectives in one place and get people flaming communicating with one another. We’ve invited a number of our blogging colleagues to join the fray, to include dating advice columnists, married folk, social artists, and regular people who have interesting opinions.

Honey and I will judge. And by judge I mean pick based on a purely subjective basis. Contest closes on Monday, April 7. We’ll announce a winner next week.

Here’s the question:

“How do you define successful relationships, and what does it take to achieve that success?”

Fire away!!!

Don’t Abuse Your Fuck Buddy (FB pt 3)

This is part 3 of my FB thread. Part 1 is how we met, part 2 is how we closed the deal. This post includes the reflections and insights I had on the process of obtaining an FB. At the bottom I tell the story of how I fucked up a past relationship in true chode-like fashion.

Here are my takeaways:

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Why I Am A Flawed Human Being, pt. 1

As Lance and I (and practically every other dating site out there) are fond of saying, insecurity is the death knell for any type of relationship. Of course, insecurity has many manifestations, and many of them seem like the opposite of insecurity if you’re not paying attention. For whatever reason, it’s a cinch to to recognize in other people. It’s harder to recognize insecurity in yourself, not least of which because:

  • Who wants to admit something icky about themselves? Plus,
  • Admitting it means that you have to actually do something about it. Denial is a small price to pay for the bliss of inertia. Read the full article
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