Lilly’s Diet and Fitness

This is guest post from Lilly, my homeboy and wingman in Tampa. Lilly was a college athlete and he continues to take care of himself by going to the gym regularly and eating right.

Yo, Lilly here. Lance asked me to write a guest post on diet and fitness, so here it is. I’ve been exercising consistently since I was 15 years old. I’m still in good shape and I look and feel pretty damn good for being almost 32. When I was a kid, I was tall and skinny and I wanted to put some meat on my bones to get in better shape for surfing, look better for the girls, and feel better about myself. Well, I accomplished all three of those goals. Here’s what I did.

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(Lilly may or may not look like this)

Diet

This one is going to be broken down into a number of items. For the normal person, diet is over 80% of the battle. Unless you’re Mark Wahlberg or Angelina Jolie (if you’re a chick), your diet is much more important than exercise. You are what you eat and that is a fact.

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My Date With The Artsy Chick

Smooth! Artsy Chick didn’t flake on me, so I must have run some decent game afterall. We met at Starbucks at the appointed hour. We both ordered tea, sat at a table outside, and conversed for 45′. Excellent conversation, topics ranged from travel to art to mountain biking to our respective degrees in Fine Arts. We had a lot in common. I would characterize this stretch as generally flat in attraction, mostly because we sat across from each other, talked, and no kino. We definitely weren’t flirting, it was just a getting to-know-you period. Artsy Chick was a very good conversationalist, easily my equal.

I told 2-3 solid stories, and during one story about me dealing with some funny relationship drama, she leaned way across the table and listened closely. Decent little spike there.

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I #-Closed An Artsy Chick On Sunday

I’ve been having a shitty month on the dating front…I haven’t heard from my FB in weeks (ie no poon) and I’ve been going out of town for work so often that I’ve haven’t been able to go out and run game. Things are so lame right now that I even re-activated my match.com account. I hate online dating.

I did run some game on that work friend two weekends ago, but that bombed. I emailed her and she basically LJBF’ed me (lets-just-be-friends). No problem, she wasn’t that hot and it forced me to stick to my policy of not messing around with work friends. It took me about an hour to get over that one.

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Speaking the Same Language

When I was still taking coursework, one of the requirements was a linguistics class. We read an article about a researcher who studied the language people use when speaking to close friends, relatives, or significant others versus the language that people use when speaking to strangers or people they don’t know as well. The study found that when speaking to people we know well, we have a tendency to use far more pronouns (as opposed to nouns) and other vague referents (for example, using a “code word” that refers to a mutually experienced event or story that both people know). On the other hand, when speaking to people we don’t know well, we have a tendency to use far more nouns (which are more specific) and to tell stories in their entirety.

This plays out in interesting ways when you start dating someone, because once you get past the very initial stages (let’s say about three months, which is my “shit or get off the pot” moment in dating) you have a tendency to start thinking that the other person knows you better than they do…and then you start getting vaguer and vaguer without realizing it. This can lead to misunderstandings if you’re not careful. Read the full article

The Weekly: Sunday School Edition

Alright, people, I’ve been traveling all weekend (again), but now it’s back to our regularly scheduled content. The weekend roundup! Link love to our peeps. We’ve got a real tasty batch this week.

Read this post, from John at the Sparks of Insanity blog. It’s one of the funniest blog post about online dating I’ve ever read. It’s short, pointed, and cynical as balls. If you’ve ever been frustrated by the lame shit you see on match.com or any other dating site, you’ll appreciate this.

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Can I Buy You A Drink?

This is a guest post by dating coach and blogger Nick Sparks. Check out his blog, Just Living the Dream, and a list of his services on this page and a review here. Nick is based in Chicago.

If there is one thing that gets under my skin when guys say it, it very well could be the uttering of “can I buy you a drink?” or one of it’s variants.

Jesus, is there any other way you can connote less value or make her feel like you’re just not good enough for her?

Let’s look a these in a bit more detail:

What you say: “Can I buy you a drink?”

What she hears: “Can I buy you a drink? I mean, please? Would you honor me with the privilege of spending $5 so that you can enjoy an alcoholic beverage and possibly get more intoxicated so that you actually find me interesting? I realize that you’re far too good to actually talk to me, however, if you actually allowed me to spend money on you it would bring me great pleasure.”

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