So, Lance has said that his new big interest is love styles. He’s mentioned it recently here and here, and I’ve also talked about it here (where I also link to other resources). Basically you’ve got physical touch, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and gifts.
However, despite the fact that most of these sites (and most of what you hear) about love styles suggests that we have one preference that overrides all others, I don’t think that is the case. It’s obviously simpler to think that because I am primarily a physical touch girl, if my needs are being met in that area then I can be happy even if there are deficiencies in others. However, I think that while most of us may have one preferred love style, many people have hybrid love styles (where they need 2 almost equally), and I also think that practically everyone needs at least some of all five. You can’t have absolutely none of any one thing and be happy.
With that in mind, here’s a fun little exercise that you can talk about with your SO or first date this weekend:
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on Aug 26, 2009 in Dating
As I mentioned in my post on three quick things I’ve learned on recent dates, I went through a stretch where I was dating three girls at once. That stretch lasted about 4 weeks and the process of maintaining three “girlfriends” was fun, interesting and revelatory.
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on Aug 25, 2009 in Life
So, yesterday was it – my 30th birthday, or (since Jake prefers Roman numerals for this), XXX.
I had a great day! Though it actually started Friday, when 10 of my co-workers joined me for one happy hour and then I went to another one with different folks afterwards – I had to turn down the many drinks I was offered so that I could, you know, drive home At work, cards and visits from everyone (I managed to escape cake and silly hats because it was the first day of school). My supervisor got me a Harkins gift card, so I’ll probably go see a movie this weekend.
On the downside, obviously facilities management didn’t care it was my birthday yesterday, because the a/c was broken and it was over 85 degrees in our building. Ugh. I was sweating like a pig, but since I had dinner reservations and I wanted to look nice, I was able to duck out early and cool off at my house. (The air’s fixed today, thank goodness.) Read the full article
on Aug 21, 2009 in Dating
I hope everyone has a great Friday! Now that my three-part Revelations series is complete (check out Parts One, Two, and Three) I can give a brief update on what’s been going on lately.
First of all, I mentioned in mid-June that I was starting Weight Watchers. I’ve lost about 14 pounds and just this week was able to start wearing my size 4 pants again. This makes me officially skinnier than I was when Jake and I started dating. I remember when we started dating I’d always bring my laundry over to his place (I didn’t have machines in my apartment, which was a duplex so I’d been going to a wash and fold) and he’d do it all for me… Read the full article
This is Part III of a series. You can read Part I here and Part II here.
Despite (or perhaps because) this is the revelation that I had first and feel is most important, it is the last (and hardest) to write. I started off by calling the post “what I could do differently,” and then I tried to come up with a name that had something to do with compromise, but nothing was working and I just couldn’t get started.
Then I had a conversation with Jake this morning before leaving for work that cleared things up for me. Despite not being especially philosophical, he is definitely a logical thinker because of his profession Here’s what I realized:
There’s a lot of focus out there on people’s so-called “love styles.” In case you haven’t heard of this, you can read about it here, here, here, or here (For starters. There are similar quizzes everywhere). The styles are physical touch, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation, and acts of service. However, each and every “love style” is more than that – it is also a preferred communication style, which means it’s also your fighting style. And it’s just as important to know how to communicate when your relationship is under stress as it is when everything’s great (maybe more so). Read the full article
This is Part II of three. You can read Part I here.
First of all, on a side note, Lance has demanded that the BF have a name. Unfortunately, I told the BF he could name himself. So, his name is Jake. Honey and Jake…sigh.
Back on topic…much to my delight, this past weekend reaffirmed just how much Jake and I really do get along when he isn’t being taken to the emergency room or drinking himself into a stupor because of work stress. The best part, however, was what he said on Friday when we were having drinks with his work friend, Dick. Read the full article