My Inner Chode Bit Me In The Ass

Well, my inner chode reared his gnarled head and really bit me in the ass on Saturday night. Here’s what happened. I went to a party at a downtown theater with a bunch of work friends (by theater I mean the kind where they have plays and stuff). The first half of the party took place on the roof–highlighted by a killer view of the city–and the second half of the party took place in a workshop in the recesses of the theater.

One work friend, this girl Angelina, who I’ve only interacted with a couple of times previously, was present, and I found myself attracted to her. In fact, after I opened her, I realized she was totally AWESOME. Cute, smart, super athletic, single, well traveled, etc etc. She is exactly what I would consider relationship material, even though I’m not currently looking for an LTR.

So what was the problem here? I was with a bunch of work friends and I allowed this to totally stall my game. I was fearful of macking on Angelina in front of them. I think my reasoning was that they would judge me poorly if I got rejected, which is mega-outcome dependent. Who gives a crap, right? On top of that, I have a general policy of not dating people I work with, which I’m more than happy to break under the right circumstances, but at the party I let it hold me back.

As the party progressed, I threw her some kino and engaged her with a few stories, just to see if she was into me. She responded and kino’ed back. In fact, as we interacted more, I could tell she was totally attracted to me. At one point, we’re hanging out on the roof and she says, “It’s cold, I need to cuddle with someone,” and looks at me. Great! Perfect opportunity, right? Cuddle, makeout, hookup, easy as 1-2-3. Paint by numbers game. It was at this point that my inner chode possessed my body and turned me into a little baby bitch. I didn’t do shit! I wussed out! Perfect opportunity: blown. I said something lame and let the attraction die a meek death.

She socialized with other people at the party and eventually left. I drank a bunch of beers and got trashed. Friends and fellow playerz, this is what happens when a) you have weak game, and b) you haven’t been practicing your game, ie not going out a lot. Your game gets rusty and you start devolving into Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Don’t let this happen to you.


(Smeagol would likes to buy you dinner and flowers…*Gollum!*)

I also got too drunk, which really screws up my calibration. I need to fix that.

Two sticking points identified:

  1. I’m scared of macking on chicks around work friends. Solution: mack on chicks around work friends every chance I get.
  2. Using alcohol to have fun at parties. Solution: Don’t drink. Have fun macking on chicks instead.

There were a few bright spots from the evening. After the party, a bunch of us stopped by an all-night pizza joint downtown. As soon as I walked in the door, I spotted a 3-set of chicks sitting in a booth. I walked straight over, sat in the booth, and gamed up the chicks. Ended up having a great 30′ interaction with them. For some reason my game was super-tight during this stretch. I ran a sexual convo ladder and it worked like a charm: crazy dating stories->craziest place you’ve had sex->when did you lose your virginity. You can read a bit more about that ladder here. The three chicks were not what I consider hot…they were like a cross between Goth chicks and townie rednecks, with multiple mouth piercings, and they came across as confused. Incidentally, two of the chicks had lost their virginity to the same guy in the same night, although not as part of a threesome. Figure that one out.

I ejected from the set when my friends left. I didn’t do any kind of close because I wasn’t attracted to them, but the experience was fun. Afterwards, went home and spanked it.

I’m going to run some email game on Angelina and see if I can spark it up again. I might even ask her out on a date, even though I HATE dates. Barf!

Will report more if anything develops.

  • cheekie

    You know what my dear Lance?
    That was smart.
    Work + sex + gossip + bullshit + drama = fuck that.
    You’re inner smartguy, not chode, took the reigns and thank him for it.

    No matter how mindblowing the sex was, you would still be known as the guy who letches on chicks at work parties. I know many. They don’t wet my panties. It’s like the guy who goes after bridesmaids at a wedding.
    So cliche it’s sad.

    But, sounds like there was a wee spark going on, so do the follow up email.
    That’s a class (sans K) move.

  • Becca aka Chaotic Kitten

    Goth chicks are hot. I should know, I am one. Minus mouth piercings. Those are just gross to me.

    Becca aka Chaotic Kitten’s last blog post..This Love

  • Hot Alpha Female

    Lance your openness is …. ummm …. interesting =)

    From that post that you just wrote it seems that when you want to get your game on .. its ON.

    Your smooth, your funny and basically you can get some ass.

    Then on the other hand …. when YOU judge people and situations by your standards and think that you can’t perform under them ..

    Then like you said your inner chode comes out. I call it self sabotage. Lack of inner belief. You lose the willingness to get out of your comfort zone.

    LoL ok ok so I was just rubbing it in.

    But yeh … what I was trying to say is that .. hey it happens to the best of us. With me sometimes it happens with my personality.

    Sometimes I all up for talking, flirting, laughing and meeting new and random people, friends whatever. N other times I have this major F**K off look stapled on my forehead.

    Dunno if that story related .. but yeh whatever.

    My point is .. that if you wanna get your game up to the next level .. then its time to look at any leftover limiting/chodey beliefs and put the Hiroshima bomb on them .. so they don’t keep biting you on the ass.

    HAF =)

    Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..If You Look Up To Me Then I’ll Look Down On You

  • Lance

    Word. These chicks were half-assing it and it didn’t work at all. If you’re gonna go Goth, go all the way.

  • Lance

    I wouldn’t be a pimp if I didn’t admit my fuckups. Honesty and openness, sister.

    @Cheekie: Thanks for the support! If I can get something going via email it will probably pan out better in the long run. Drunken hookups are rarely classy, so I hear ya. BTW, What does wet your panties?

    Lance’s last blog post..My Inner Chode Bit Me In The Ass

  • cheekie

    Drunken Hookups. lol. jk (sort of)

    I would have to say that the thing that usually gets my wee motor going is the quiet, intense flirt action.
    Body language, eye contact.
    I usually get turned off by anything too overt or pushy.

    Although I do like a guy that can make me smile, seems interested in what I have to say, and who can’t take his eyes off of me.
    And you know what I mean, when the spark is mutual…

    Any guy who can make me feel like he wants to grab me by the hair and drag me off to his cave, just by looking at me the right way?
    Ahem, ya…done deal.

    Funniest part is that it usually has nothing to do with how ‘hot’ the guy is. It could be one feature that really draws me in, usually eyes.
    The majority of my favourite lovers have been guys who you would never pick out in a lineup as such…

    What can I say, I am a visceral creature….

  • Bobby Rio

    It happens to the best of us man… I love banging work chicks.. cuz you’re with them all the time imagining what it will be like when yo finally get them naked!! and then YOU DO!!

    Plow on my boy! Plow on!

    Bobby Rio’s last blog post..Drake‚Äôs Tech Tips- The Shrug

  • The Dateable Dork

    Hahaha, Lance, your stories about hitting on chicks are hilarious! Love it. You remind me SO much of this guy I dated once who had all the same macking skillz that you describe, and it was all very attractive to me.

    I totally agree with cheekie – go for the follow-up email. Like you said, work rules are worth breaking when the possibility of a great connection (or a great fuck) is there. Rock on!

    The Dateable Dork’s last blog post..The rush