Comments on: Don’t Abuse Your Fuck Buddy (FB pt 3) http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3 The Straight Dope On Everything In The Universe Tue, 14 Oct 2008 08:06:55 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Honey http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-1539 Honey Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:50:12 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-1539 I'd suggest seeing a counselor if you can't kick it on your own. Or working on your other relationships more actively and slowly decreasing your available free time. This isn't really an FB thing, though--it's an affair, which is why it's harder to kick, I'm guessing. I've never had an affair so I don't really have specific advice. Honeys last blog post..<a href="http://honeyandlance.com/unlikely-superheroes-the-men-of-match" rel="nofollow">Unlikely Superheroes: The Men of Match</a> I’d suggest seeing a counselor if you can’t kick it on your own. Or working on your other relationships more actively and slowly decreasing your available free time. This isn’t really an FB thing, though–it’s an affair, which is why it’s harder to kick, I’m guessing. I’ve never had an affair so I don’t really have specific advice.

Honeys last blog post..Unlikely Superheroes: The Men of Match

]]> By: Wizard http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-1525 Wizard Wed, 23 Jul 2008 08:55:28 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-1525 Stumbled across this, just wanted to chuck in my situation as i'm feeling a bit stuck Initially thought my FB would only last a few weeks... 2 years later its a habbit harder to shake than heroin. We've both been through the reasons (I have Wife+Kid / She has Fiance) but we cant seem to shake the whole situation. We both invent random reasons every second day to see each other, although we both know what were after as we have zero interest except for the sex. (I cant say no, and she cant turn down my Size) I feel like i could keep this rolling for the rest of my life, but its just not practical - suggestions? Stumbled across this, just wanted to chuck in my situation as i’m feeling a bit stuck

Initially thought my FB would only last a few weeks… 2 years later its a habbit harder to shake than heroin. We’ve both been through the reasons (I have Wife+Kid / She has Fiance) but we cant seem to shake the whole situation. We both invent random reasons every second day to see each other, although we both know what were after as we have zero interest except for the sex. (I cant say no, and she cant turn down my Size)

I feel like i could keep this rolling for the rest of my life, but its just not practical - suggestions?

]]> By: Laurie http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-1063 Laurie Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:31:12 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-1063 I have been in an occassional FB relationship for 10 months. There is an age difference and distance issue. It has been great. It's starting to fizzle and I want to make sure it ends and doesn't keep hanging on. We've ended it several times and mutually restarted it. I do think if people really know, they would freak. It is so not me but works great with my lifestyle. I would definitely do it again if the chemistry were right. I have been in an occassional FB relationship for 10 months. There is an age difference and distance issue. It has been great. It’s starting to fizzle and I want to make sure it ends and doesn’t keep hanging on. We’ve ended it several times and mutually restarted it. I do think if people really know, they would freak. It is so not me but works great with my lifestyle. I would definitely do it again if the chemistry were right.

]]> By: heather http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-727 heather Wed, 21 May 2008 10:25:18 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-727 From a female perspective ... problem with any of these is that one or the other always ends up liking the other one or wants a relationship. If the tables turn, the other is licking his or her wounds, dumbfounded by being shut off. Sad but true. Sorry guys, FB's are not something to tide you over. It's like a snowball of replacements for a whole bunch of emptiness. Most guys (and gals) who do them, especially more and more, find themselves never really finding anything with substance and I've witnessed quite a few pathetic men and women wasting away their good years trying to pass off one of these "temporaries" in lieu of something both emotionally and sexually satisfying. And then what? Prostitutes? Try it once for a time, but my advice? If you're regularly doing this, you've more than likely got few problems upstairs. And women know/sense that just as women like that can be detected by guys just the same. No one wants someone who secretly carries emotional baggage, for a trip around the block or for the duration. From a female perspective … problem with any of these is that one or the other always ends up liking the other one or wants a relationship. If the tables turn, the other is licking his or her wounds, dumbfounded by being shut off. Sad but true. Sorry guys, FB’s are not something to tide you over. It’s like a snowball of replacements for a whole bunch of emptiness. Most guys (and gals) who do them, especially more and more, find themselves never really finding anything with substance and I’ve witnessed quite a few pathetic men and women wasting away their good years trying to pass off one of these “temporaries” in lieu of something both emotionally and sexually satisfying. And then what? Prostitutes? Try it once for a time, but my advice? If you’re regularly doing this, you’ve more than likely got few problems upstairs. And women know/sense that just as women like that can be detected by guys just the same. No one wants someone who secretly carries emotional baggage, for a trip around the block or for the duration.

]]> By: freja http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-368 freja Thu, 10 Apr 2008 01:39:15 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-368 Lance, please expound on "fuck buddyism is prevalent, almost to the point where it's pushing gf-bf relationships"..? Lance, please expound on “fuck buddyism is prevalent, almost to the point where it’s pushing gf-bf relationships”..?

]]> By: Lance http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-317 Lance Sat, 05 Apr 2008 20:31:27 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-317 Definitely not a myth. I think fuck buddyism is prevalent, almost to the point where it's pushing gf-bf relationships. Definitely not a myth. I think fuck buddyism is prevalent, almost to the point where it’s pushing gf-bf relationships.

]]> By: The Virgin http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-316 The Virgin Sat, 05 Apr 2008 18:27:40 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-316 Awesome set of posts. I always thought the FWB thing was a myth ;) <em>The Virgin's last blog post..<a href='http://www.vcarded.com/hall-of-shame/bruce-dickson-american-idol/' rel="nofollow">V-Carded! Hall of Shame: Mr. Dickson (American Idol)</a></em> Awesome set of posts. I always thought the FWB thing was a myth ;)
The Virgin’s last blog post..V-Carded! Hall of Shame: Mr. Dickson (American Idol)

]]> By: The Dateable Dork http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-282 The Dateable Dork Thu, 03 Apr 2008 00:50:47 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-282 Lance, excellent close to a great bunch of posts. My radar is pretty well tuned, and I can always tell by the end of a first date whether things are going to work out or not. Granted, I don't always listen to my instincts, but that doesn't mean they're not there. And seriously, it sounds like you really know how to mack it. Fucking hilarious. I wonder how many guys think this much before approaching a woman? <em>The Dateable Dork's last blog post..<a href='http://thedateabledork.typepad.com/thedateabledork/2008/04/with-my-feet-ba.html' rel="nofollow">With my feet back on the ground</a></em> Lance, excellent close to a great bunch of posts.

My radar is pretty well tuned, and I can always tell by the end of a first date whether things are going to work out or not. Granted, I don’t always listen to my instincts, but that doesn’t mean they’re not there.

And seriously, it sounds like you really know how to mack it. Fucking hilarious. I wonder how many guys think this much before approaching a woman?

The Dateable Dork’s last blog post..With my feet back on the ground

]]> By: cheekie http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-271 cheekie Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:14:49 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-271 p.s. GREAT series Lance.... p.s. GREAT series Lance….

]]> By: cheekie http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-270 cheekie Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:14:10 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/my-fuck-buddy-3#comment-270 Oh you know how I love this topic! And I agree with the line Brad provided (via Brent Smith). I think you need to have a certain friendship level already established before you bring that puppy out though. It has to be someone who understands where you are at in life right now, and someone who knows you aren't 'the bad guy'. Otherwise, it is doomed. I have made some of the same mistakes as Lance, and I have learned how to do it right, as has Lance. It's really all about 'Expectation Management'. Be honest and respectful....that's key. And as for Brad's statement '… albeit in the short term.' Well, that is kinda the idea behind the FB. It isn't intended to drag on for years. It is a 'stop gap' measure so to speak. Keeps the smell of desperation off ya....lol. Although, I do know many people who have FB's, they stop due to one or the other getting into a relationship, and then resume once that relationship is over. For some people it works. Especially if it was a healthy and honest FB scenario. I also know that it isn't always the women who get 'too attached'... Oh you know how I love this topic!
And I agree with the line Brad provided (via Brent Smith).

I think you need to have a certain friendship level already established before you bring that puppy out though.
It has to be someone who understands where you are at in life right now, and someone who knows you aren’t ‘the bad guy’.
Otherwise, it is doomed.

I have made some of the same mistakes as Lance, and I have learned how to do it right, as has Lance. It’s really all about ‘Expectation Management’.
Be honest and respectful….that’s key.

And as for Brad’s statement ‘… albeit in the short term.’
Well, that is kinda the idea behind the FB. It isn’t intended to drag on for years. It is a ’stop gap’ measure so to speak.
Keeps the smell of desperation off ya….lol.

Although, I do know many people who have FB’s, they stop due to one or the other getting into a relationship, and then resume once that relationship is over. For some people it works.
Especially if it was a healthy and honest FB scenario.
I also know that it isn’t always the women who get ‘too attached’…

]]>