How I Met My Fuck Buddy

I have a fuck buddy. Just thought I’d get personal for a couple of posts. I picked her up at a bar a couple of months ago. I know what you’re thinking…Lance picked up a skeezy ho, screwed her six ways till Sunday, and is jerking her around. Um, no. I have to say, she’s a cool chick and I’ve developed the relationship into a really nice little friends-with-benefits situation. Here’s what I did. This is part 1 where I describe the meet and pickup. Here’s part 2 and part 3.

Also, see this related post on how to set up a long distance fuck buddy.

Friday night. I planned on meeting two friends out downtown. I stopped by my neighborhood bar to have a pre-going-out drink. I was at the bar and there were two brunettes sitting at a high-top behind me. One of the brunettes (Amber, although I didn’t know her name at this point) went outside for a smoke. This left the other girl, Josie, by herself. I half-turned, shot Josie a look, and smiled. Josie got out of her chair, walked over, and said hello. (Note: this is the first time I’ve ever had a girl open me based purely on eye contact).

We dropped right into normal convo, no routines or elaborate openers needed. Josie was in town from California visiting Amber. I believe this is why she opened so easily, although it didn’t hurt that I was well dressed and projecting a positive energy. After 5′ Amber returned. I was sitting at the bar and the two girls were standing in front of me. I directed them back to their high-top so we could all sit. I didn’t suggest it, I just told them to sit down and I followed. At this point I threw in a time constraint: “I have to leave after this drink to catch up with my buddies, but let’s shoot the breeze for a minute.”

If you’re not familiar with game, this is very important because it lets them know they won’t be stuck with you for the rest of the night in case you’re sketchy. I actually stayed for TWO drinks, and I got one of the girls to buy me the second. I didn’t ask, Josie offered to pay for a round and I accepted.

Based on my attraction to the girls, I decided I would target Amber and work towards a number and kiss close. Amber was the cuter of the two and lived in town, while Josie was leaving for CA on Monday, so really it was a no-brainer. My plan was this:

  1. Identify my target (Amber) to Josie and get them to tacitly approve that I was going to game Amber, thereby defusing potential cockblocks.
  2. Get them to agree to meet me at the next bar so I could game further.
  3. Get Amber’s phone number
  4. Cement against flaking.

Here was the execution. First, I removed my scarf and placed it on the table. Several minutes later, I got up to go to the bathroom, and at the same time I wrapped the scarf around Amber. I did this is a playful, seductive way. Hard to describe here, but basically I just made a big goofy show of wrapping it around her head. Then I went to the bathroom.

I went back to the table. Amber was still wearing my scarf. Obviously, the girls talked about me while I was gone and approved of my advance. I now knew that Josie would help me game Amber instead of cockblocking as long as I remained cool for the rest of the encounter. I suggested a bounce to another bar. They agreed. We walked outside to go to our cars. I purposely left Amber with my scarf so she would have to see me later to give it back. This cemented against a flake. I also asked for and received her digits in case they “got lost.” All four goals met. At this point we had been hanging out for a half hour.

We partied the rest of the night and had a great time. I won’t go into every little detail, but here are some tactical highlights:

* I have a conversational ladder I use to escalate to a sexual frame. I’m sure a hundred other guys do something similar or better, but here’s what I do: I start by asking the target if she’s ever done the online dating thing. She almost always says yes. I’ll then ask if she has any funny or crazy online dating stories. Most people that use online sites have these stories. We’ll trade stories for a couple of rounds, keeping it fun and light. Then, I usually ask, “so did you make out with the crazy person?” Something like that, a clear conversational escalation. More trading. Then I ask what’s the craziest sexual thing she’s ever done. BANG. Once you start with the sex talk, the interaction totally opens up. Skies the limit.

* I played the name-the-sexual-positions game. It’s simple. Go around the table and name a unique sexual position. If you can’t name one, you take a drink. Start over. It’s stupid, but it’s a blast. Missionary. Doggy style. Reverse cowgirl. 69. Etc etc.

*Our convo included a discussion of female squirting orgasms and the importance of Kegels. Credit pickuppodcast for this one. I painted the picture that I was a sex master and would be great in the sack. At this point, I absolutely knew Amber would donk me…if not tonight, then sometime soon. We had an obvious sexual connection.

* I kino escalated Amber throughout the night, especially when talking about sex. This associated her inevitable horny feelings with my touch.

* I pulled them up to a bar, made insta-friends with the 10-set adjacent to us, and basically melded myself and the two girls into their party. The easiest way to do this is to buy a round of shots for your set and the closest members of the adjacent set you’re trying to meld with. It’s expensive, but worth it. This buys you entry into their party, and in return they will buy you drinks and hang with you. Cool, huh?

* It’s also very worth noting that I spent a ton of energy gaming up Josie and making sure she had a damn good time. This included plenty of stimulating convo and “friend” kino. Without her approval, I would have had nothing.

At the end of the night, I walked the two girls to their car. Makeout-close with Amber on the driver side. I walked around the car and gave Josie a goodnight hug. She had patiently waited for us to finish making out. We made plans to go out the next night.

Part 2 tomorrow, which includes the f-close…

two brunettes

(NOT Amber & Josie…although not bad)

Photo credit Napkin Nights

  • Hot Alpha Female

    There really is method behind the madness =)


    Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..How David D Helped Me!

  • Honey

    Sometime you should tell the story of how you picked ME up at a bar, way back in the day…

  • Lance

    That’s a good one. Back when I was unskilled…I’ll bust that out maybe over the weekend.

  • Hot Alpha Female

    hey lance,
    Just out of curiosity are these pictures that YOU take .. or did you find them on the net? lol


    Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..How David D Helped Me!

  • Bobby Rio

    Great story so far… good fuck buddies are hard to find.

    I want to hear how you picked Honey up back in the day!

    Bobby Rio’s last blog post..The G-spot, Female Ejaculation, and How to Get Your Girl to Come

  • Pingback: I Just Did A Kegel | Honey and Lance()

  • Honey

    Ah, Bobby, it’s a good story. Though I think I should fill in the part where I led him on a merry chase!

  • Lance

    Well, obviously, the story starts with, “…Honey basically threw herself at me because of my deadly combination of rugged good looks and suave personality.”

  • dadshouse

    You’re like that Mystery Guy on the VH1 show… impressive. And here I am blogging about DNA matchmaking sites when I should be out in a bar playing name-the-sexual-position.

  • Lance

    DM, thanks for reading. I’m no where close to Mystery, actually. My game is merely intermediate nay newbie, while that guy practically invented pickup.

    With that being said, I highly recommend the sex positions game. It’s a blast, and it gets the girls thinking about sex. We’ll have to wing sometime.

  • Becca aka Chaotic Kitten

    Ah, yes, I have to say this. Girls, well at least moi, like goofy. It defuses anxiety for me.

    Becca aka Chaotic Kitten’s last blog post..My Idea of a Successful Relationship

  • The Dateable Dork

    Hahaha, Lance, you are fucking hilarious. This totally reminds me of a guy I dated once – the moves, the show, the whole nine. Nice.

    The Dateable Dork’s last blog post..With my feet back on the ground

  • Lance

    I got all the rights moves, sister. I’m pretty good in the sack, too.

  • Pingback: My Great Online Dating Experiment : Brazen Careerist()

  • Claw

    Hey Bros,

    A scarf around the neck???? If I did that everyone would think I was gay….why not just get her ass drunk, talk about fun times, take her outside, start making out and then force her to come home and play hide the sausage?? All this game shit and gay scarfs and hipster talk makes me dizzy….


  • Karl

    Fucking cool story with some great tips. I think if you stay casual with the conversation ANYTHING can happen! Good luck.

  • Janak

    Here’s a cheat sheet for anyone who ever wants to OWN THAT GAME UP:

    Janak´s last blog post…Massage therapist… for models?


    if the girl came to , u got weak game bro, check out the homie in newb tips to pick up a chick at the bar

  • Get Laid Tonight

    I’ve got over twenty fuck buddies and its fucking awesome, I just phone one of them when I’m feeling horny, or vice versa.
    .-= Get Laid Tonight´s last blog …Get Laid Tonight Guaranteed Results =-.

  • No Strings Dating

    Nothing sweeter than finding a great fuck buddy.
    .-= No Strings Dating´s last blog …No Strings Dating How And Where =-.

  • Ovada Bey

    I feel like I should’ve turned the lights down, cranked up some music and read this slowly, lol.

  • Adrian

    If you have a long hard dick that is obvious when you take those manly strides in front of those cool chicks (they are smart and know wat there lookin 4), it’s always easy to be smart with nice stories that females love…take em out on a couple of occassions and they would be jumpin on ya………hehehe