Hooters, Knockers, Pixie Grrl – More Gorilla Sex

Alright, here’s the report from my glorious weekend. I got blown out by two of my prospects and I pulled a new girl in one of my fastest pickups. There were some awesome insights from all three encounters. Before I launch into the field report, I want to say that all three girls are cool, attractive women, and I definitely like them as people and not just as sex objects. This is me not being a douchebag :p Onwards!


(My weekend ended with a bit of this. Did yours?)

Hooters Girl

Remember how in one of my earlier reports I myspace-closed a Hooters Girl? Well, I’ve been gaming her up over myspace for a couple of weeks and I finally got her to the point where she wanted to hang out on Friday night. I was never pushy, she actually suggested the meetup, so I knew it was on.

I picked her up and drove us to Fiddler’s Green, a cool Irish bar. She had never been there, so my plan was to show her around and bounce us to a number of places. I told her, “We’re going to have a little adventure tonight.” I also wanted to push the interaction to the very limit, and either get blown out or have sex with her. No in-between. BTW, Hooters is smoking hot, a true 10, age 21, never attended college, very down to Earth. According to her myspace profile she recently broke up with her bf, which is a detail that comes into play shortly.

On the drive to the bar we started talking about sex and past relationships almost immediately. I started with a couple of high school hijinks stories, transitioned to funny online dating stories (she didn’t have any of these), and this naturally led to where/when did you lose your virginity and getting busted for having sex. All in good fun, there was nothing skeezy about it. We actually went into the sex talk a little too soon, and I had to pull the reins and transition back to more normal convo.

At the bar I got us a round of drinks. We bumped into three of my co-workers, so instant social value. More good convo, I hit her with some kino and everything was going smoothly. After one drink, we bounced to the next place, Chillers, in downtown. We ended up on the rooftop bar hanging out. The place was friggin packed so we had to move really close to each other to be heard, which was nice.

Note: Ever wondered what the reality of a super-hot Hooters Girl is like? Well, she received 30-40 phone calls and text messages throughout the night. Seriously, every other minute her phone rang or beeped. While we were walking from the car to the bar at the first place, a distance of maybe 50 yards, she got two phone calls and four text messages. That’s how in demand she was.

Back to the action. I made her order a round of drinks for us. At the time it seemed like a good idea because I didn’t want her to get the idea I was going pay for her shit all night, but in retrospect it was a mistake. I’ll discuss that later. I decided to befriend another set of people and bring them into play…I wanted to boost my social value and change the vibe a little. I opened a young married couple set and I clicked instantly with the marrieds. We turned into a 4-set and ended up hanging out for two hours. The marrieds were part of a much larger set, so people would come in and out of the set throughout the night. So now it was like we were part of a party. The four of us ended up dancing together and I worked my standard Lance dancefloor game. It was a blast. Let me tell you, Hooters had a rocking bod. It makes my loins ache just thinking about it.

Here’s where things went downhill. I went in for the kiss right as we were coming off the dancefloor. Deflected! I ignored it. We ended up hanging out with the marrieds for another 30′, then it was time to go. I took her home. I had seeded the convo earlier about playing Guitar Hero (we both love GH), and my plan was to play the game at her place at the end of the night and make my moves. Everything was logistically perfect, but it didn’t work.

Outside her place, I went in for the k-close again, deflected! I got the hug goodnight and no Guitar Hero either. She had awesome chick game and she parried all of my moves perfectly. I actually got fairly chodey when I got deflected the second time. I knew I was well and truly blown out.

Conclusions/Lessons: Here’s what happened. She has an on-again, off-again bf that she LIVES WITH. Like, the guy is her roommate. Well, they had recently broken up and he was out of town. She decided to go out with me and test the waters to see if I was bf material. I’m fairly certain she was considering if I was a suitable replacement. This girl is very down-to-Earth, rarely drinks, doesn’t party that much, doesn’t listen to party music, doesn’t hookup with guys. In short, she’s a regular nice girl who happens to have extraordinary looks. My mistake, if you can call it that, is that I presented myself as the “party guy/social butterfly” and that’s not what she was looking for. She wanted a clean cut dude that adores her and she can bring home to momma. I could have maybe seduced her if I had presented myself as a Preppie Good Guy and led her to believe that I wanted her to be my gf, but that’s not what I do. I put myself out there and do my thing and if she’s not buying what I’m selling, it’s totally cool. I have to tip my hat to her, she had awesome chick game and knew exactly how to test me and deflect my moves.

I do want to say that her looks might be her downfall. She hasn’t attended college and it doesn’t look like she’s going to anytime soon. She works at Hooters and she also cuts hair. She’s sweet and smart, but she gets handed everything. My guess is she’ll be married to a douchebag at age 24, have kids shortly after that, and her looks and body will fade by 30. At that point, if her husband isn’t cool, she could be in trouble. I see this all the time with mega-hot chicks in their late 20’s. I hope it works out for her and I wish her the best of luck. It’s unlikely I’ll see her again, unless I need a haircut of course.

Knockers and the Fatty of Doom

Saturday. I had a meetup set with Knockers and the Fatty of Doom, the same two girls from last weekend. I was trying to engineer a pull with Knockers but I was a lot more chilled out because of my experience on Friday with Hooters Girl. I guess you could say I was humbled. The plan was to meet at a pool hall/bar.

The first thing I did was go to my neighborhood bar and get warmed up. I opened a 2-set of marrieds, who were part of a birthday party/larger set. These young married couple sets are gold and I’m going to start looking for them more often. They want to talk to people and they’re always friendly, because they know people aren’t hitting on them. I hung with them for probably a half hour, chatted with everyone in the party, made fun of some of the girls, ate some of their nachos and bounced. I was in a great frame of mind and ready for anything. Oh yeah, I did the smell test on three of the girls and none of them smelled attractive, so not worth my time.

I arrived at the pool hall and the girls were running late. I ordered a beer and immediately started chatting with a couple of girls seated around me. The first was a cool chick

with an awesome Rosie the Riveter tattoo on her left bicep. I raved about her tattoo. The second chick, who I’ll dub Pixie Grrl, was petite and had really cute, long pigtails. I love that shit. I can’t remember what I opened her with, but we quickly dropped into rapport and started talking about Wes Anderson films and other arthouse flicks. Great little convo.

Rosie tattoo

After ten minutes, the girls arrived. It was FOD’s birthday and she was hellbent on getting drunk. First thing she did was go to the bar and order shots. I gladly purchased the round for her. We chatted and socialized with a few other patrons (the girls knew several people there). After that, the three of us played darts and shot pool. I was working my magic with Knockers and everything was going along swimmingly, although she wasn’t drinking and I thought that might a problem. She was also slightly standoffish, which I noticed but didn’t think much of until I analyzed it later. Here is an example: I’d tease her, grab her and pull her into me, flirt a bit more, then release my grip. She would move back to her original position, no lingering. This let me know I was either a) doing something wrong or b) she wasn’t ready for escalation.

Okay, so here’s where things went into the shitter. FOD got too drunk too fast! She had a flask and was doing shots from that. Then she would do shots at the bar. At exactly the one hour mark, while I had Knockers iso’ed and I was making out with her, FOD stumbled into us and demanded to be taken home because she was going to hurl. FUCK. Knockers immediately took her home with barely a word to me. No I’ll call you later, no I’ll come back and hang, nothing like that. She was out the door in two minutes flat and I was sitting there with my dick in my hand. It sucked.

Pixie Grrl

I was genuinely pissed. Why? Because I had invested hours into this connection and FOD had cockblocked me twice now. At this point I could have done one of two things. I could have cut my losses and gone home and downloaded some porn, or I could stay out and fix the situation.

I stayed out. I found Pixie Grrl, tooled the guy she was talking to, iso’ed her at the bar, and gamed the hell out of her. I ran some astrology, did a bit of cold reading, ran The Cube (worked great), talked more about movies and music, kino escalated. Closing time rolls around. We’re outside and I’m walking her to her car. I made out with her. I figured I had maybe two minutes to close the deal.

I said, “Hey, let’s go back to my place and make-out like teenagers.” She called me out on the cheesy line, gave some resistance, I defused her worries that I was a psycho, and we got into our separate cars and rolled out.

Back at my place. I fired up Pandora. We listened to cool tunes and made out on the couch. From there it was off to the races. I got her naked on the couch and we messed around a bit. I pulled her into the bedroom and it was insane gorilla sex time. Let me tell you, this was some of the most intense, bitchin sex I’ve ever had.

Here are a couple of highlights…skip to the bottom if you don’t want to read about it :

  • Started off with oral and g-spot orgasm for her.
  • I donked her probably 6-7 times, included missionary, girl on top, reverse cowgirl, a bunch of doggie style.
  • Included hair pulling and spanking. She asked for both. Pulling on pigtails! Fun!
  • Two vigorous rounds of pooper sex. She was all about it.
  • I searched for the d-spot but couldn’t find it. Either my fingers aren’t long enough or I was poking around in the wrong place. She had never heard of the d-spot before.
  • I got her on her knees and whacked a huge manload into her mouth. It was awesome.
  • Morning sex while spooning. Very nice.

There were a couple of goofy moments. We were making pillow talk and she revealed that she was 38!!! She’s a very cute, petite girl, and I would have guessed 28 or 30. That’s the oldest I’ve been with. Cool.

What’s Your Name Again?

I couldn’t remember her name the ENTIRE night. I mean, from the start of the interaction at the bar until post-coital. I had to call her “baby” the whole time. At around 6 o’clock I went to the kitchen to get water. I grabbed her purse and looked through her shit for something with her name on it. Hahahahaha!

She also revealed that she hadn’t gotten laid in “awhile” and that she really needed it. I didn’t press for details, but I felt like I did my duty as a red-blooded male by donking her six ways till Sunday. Seriously, it would have been unAmerican for me NOT to have sex with her. She’s really cool and I’ll probably see her again.

Great weekend. I had fun, learned a lot, got laid, gave value.

Lesson: Persistence is key. The tortoise always beats the hare.

Conclusions about Knockers: Knockers is interesting. She’s clearly attracted to me, but I think she wants nothing more than to party and maybe get laid in secret, with no strings attached. That means I have to be completely chill and not hint at dating, a relationship, or even an FB thing, especially in front of FOD. Not sure how I’m going to work that out since they’re bff’s.

  • Lilly

    Awesome, Lance! Need I remind you that you NEVER take a girl out on a date on Friday. Friday is the night EVERYONE is out and Saturday is date night. In any case, it worked for you and this girl sounds like a really cool one. Plus she knows what she’s doing in the sack. Just think of how LAME Hooters girl would have been…..

  • Jonsi

    It sounds like your game is getting solid, as you understand the logistics well, and for the most part, you do calibrate to the girl at hand. If you were just looking to get laid, I suspect you’d calibrate earlier, bail earlier, etc, but you enjoy the art of the pick up, the adventure of it, and while you may not want a relationship, it sounds like you do enjoy dating as well as just getting laid. Keep it up. Good reading and lots to learn from.

  • http://cheekiebacktalk.blogspot.com cheekie

    All I have to say is YA! we 38 yr old chicks rock don’t we…yeehaw. You know what they say about women my age. Oh ya, it’s true, all true.

    Sounds like a very, very good time was had by all!

    what about this new fangled ‘d-spot’ you younguns are goin on about though…what in tarnation is that? about to use the ‘interweb’ to ‘google’ it…

    cheekies last blog post..What? Me Worry???

  • http://40ssingleness.blogspot.com/ lisaq

    I have to agree with Cheekie here. I keep telling people they have no idea what they’re missin’ out on! πŸ˜‰

    Interesting weekend…love your field reports. Nice to have someone to live through vicariously. Haha….

    lisaqs last blog post..Wordless Wednesday Eye Candy-Shemar Moore Edition

  • Me Thinks

    Lance, I can’t believe a player like you has never banged a hot chick in her late 30s!!! Hello? We are the hot monkey sex GOLDMINE! Most women my age are constantly horny, know what they want, are totally comfortable hopping into the sack if its a NSA/FB/FWB situ, are SAFE, we know what we are doing in bed and aren’t shy. Example: the words “cum on my face” were never uttered until I was 37.

    so, if getting experience is what you are all about, I would suggest you expand your quest to include women in their late 30s. JMO.

    Oh, nice post. Avoid Hooters chick like the plague, waste of time.

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    That video is too funny. But I want to know, when you had your hot Gorilla sex, was the chick crawling across the floor with you hopping behind her?

    Great field report!

    dadshouses last blog post..Who Needs Protection? It’s Only a One Night Stand

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    Hey Cheekie, I’ll write a little post today or tomorrow about the d-spot. I’ve never stimulated it myself, but I’ve been ‘researching’ it and it looks like a great thing to add to your sexual arsenal :)

    Lances last blog post..Hooters, Knockers, Pixie Grrl – More Gorilla Sex