Man Gets Dumped For Being Excellent Boyfriend

Atlanta, GA – An Atlanta man was dumped on Monday for trying to build a strong emotional connection and having deep intimacy with his girlfriend. Dennis Dickerson, age 29, had been going steady with Roswell resident Amanda Knupfel for two years.

“It really took me by surprise,” said Dickerson, “I thought we had a really awesome relationship. I mean, we got along, we spent a lot of time together, and I wanted us to open up and become even closer than we were. I thought being even more vulnerable was the next step in our relationship.”

“Everything was going so well,” Dickerson continued, “I was thinking really long term, like, you know, maybe getting married.”

Dickerson used to be a self-described “ladies man” and a “player,” and he admitted to rarely having strong emotional connections with the beautiful women he slept with, instead preferring empty meaningless sex and drunken hookups.

“I used to only date party girls. You know, ‘spinners’? Those chicks you see at clubs that are jaw-droppingly hot but totally vacuous and fucked up? That was my scene and I pretty much owned it.”

That all changed when he met Knupfel, age 27, a bank teller with Wachovia.

“Amanda was great. She wasn’t so friggin’ hot, like all the girls I was used to. I’d probably rate her as a 6.5, maybe an 7 when she gets really dressed up and wears those knee high boots she busts out on special occasions. So instead of focusing on the physical, I was forced to focus on her personality and how she made me feel. And you know what? I found that I really liked having a strong emotional connection with a mediocre-looking gal,” Dickerson said.

To make matters worse, their sex life was excellent and Dickerson thought he had turned a corner from his superficial player days and moved on to a mature, adult relationship.

“I liked having sex with Amanda because it was so full of emotion and we were so close to each other, it really enhanced the experience. I mean, it was like a great drama, so full of these feelings and overtones, it just blew my mind.”

Knupfel and Dickerson met through mutual friends and started dating after a regular, totally normal dating process. Said Knupfel:

“We met for wine and appetizers on the first date. Kiss on the second date. Sex on the fifth date. It was totally normal and how I imagined a regular courtship would be,” Knupfel said. “I had been used to meeting guys through, and it never seemed to work out. I would either have sex on the first date and get dropped, or hold out and the guy would leave because he was blueballed. But Dennis was great, because he paced himself and didn’t put any pressure on me whatsoever.”

“Honestly, it was a great relationship. Dennis was easily the best guy of all the guys I dated before.”

Things started turning south for Knupfel when she realized their relationship was excellent and Dickerson wanted to strengthen their emotional connection and have even more intimacy.

“Things were just so solid,” said Knupfel, “and then Dennis started talking about his feelings all the time. He started talking about creating an emotional/spiritual synergy with me and having us become ‘soul lovers,’ whatever that means. Then we’d have tantric sex for like three hours straight and it was kind of too much.”

“I mean, what is intimacy, anyway? I just wanted to hang out during the week, get in a good solid fuck on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday, and go on vacation every once in awhile. Maybe talk about politics or something. But he kept pushing his emotional agenda and trying to make me his Vulnerability Partner. I was like, what the fuck is a Vulnerability Partner?”

Amanda was disappointed that their relationship didn’t work out, especially because it was the best one she had been involved in by far, but she is committed to putting her excellent relationship behind her and moving on to something closer to average.

“I’ve already re-activiated my Match profile and I might try eHarmony and some of the other sites,” Knupfel stated. “I’m sure I can find a guy who doesn’t want intimacy as much as I don’t want it.”

Dickerson, who was visibly bummed when being interviewed at his apartment in Buckhead, also had committed to moving on.

“It really sucks that Amanda dumped me. I’ll get over it, I guess. I think I’ll go hit the clubs with my boys this weekend and pickup up a spinner. I’m sure if I have sex with a 10 with huge tits I’ll feel a ton better.”

Dickerson was wistful, though: “I’m still holding out for a girl with homely looks that I can establish a Soul Intimacy with.”

Photo credits

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  • Infinity

    Wow, can you imagine that? Vulnerability partner? Intimacy?

    Well, it just shows you how something that is significant to one may not be so for another and is the difference-maker in a lasting relationship.

    Once he tried to add that to the relationship, it was the point of no return for either of them. No recovery from that.

    But he will find someone out there that’s into that kind of stuff.

    Infinity´s last blog post…Demonstrating Higher Value

  • Hammer

    lol the classic story of player turned into a wuss by a particular girl! We’ve ALL been there.

    Hammer´s last blog post…Poetry: Dream Girl

  • dadshouse

    This is really funny. And I’ve been there, on both sides! I’ve had women want more intimacy when I just wanted sex. And I’ve fallen for women and pushed for a closer connection when they just wanted booty.

    Vulnerability Partner is an excellent term – sounds like group therapy with only two members in the group!

    dadshouse´s last blog post…Somebody to Love

  • The Dateable Dork

    Hahaha – this is absolutely hilarious. The ridiculousness of the situation is mind-boggling. Why is dating so complicated? : )

  • NewWrldYankee

    I don’t even know what to say… But I do have issue with men getting too close too fast, but maybe I have done the same. I kind of want to know what he says a vulnerability partner is. I love the last line….I just want a homely girl, but a spinner with big tits will do.

    NewWrldYankee´s last blog post…You Can Make Your Move to Europe – Part III How to Study Abroad

  • bobby

    Communication, an ignored species.

    bobby´s last blog post…Helping us to help ourselves.

  • lisaq

    That’s an interesting turn of events isn’t it? Usually it’s the other way around. Makes you wonder.

  • Debo Hobo

    That’s funny a homely girl….

    Debo Hobo´s last blog post…1,2,3,4 We Declare a Meez War-We’re Coming For You

  • Brad

    Haha… and the best part…

    She sleeps with guys off of Match on the first date.

    If I was single and in her area…

    What a lay up.

    Brad´s last blog post…The DARK SIDE Of Supplements