About the Author

Honey's main interests are online dating, long distance dating, and long term relationships. She met her boyfriend on MySpace and they have been exclusive since their first date over three years ago. Currently they live in Tempe, Arizona. Honey graduated with her PhD in Composition and Rhetoric in May 2009. You can contact Honey via email here or online here.

Love Style “Gifts”: How I Became A Kept Woman

Jake and I always joke about the “gifts” love style because it seems funny to us…he does very much like to receive gifts, which I try to buy on a fairly consistent basis (for me, gifts are sort of an act of service in any case, so I am not too bad at giving them although I am far better at other things).  He also likes to give gifts.  When it comes to receiving actual physical gifts, it is very difficult for me to think of things that I would want, as I’ve said previously.  But lately he’s found a way to sneak it in there.

We’ve been going out more recently – dinner, drinks, that sort of thing.  Now usually he pays and then we’ll settle up later through our reckoning (he pays the rent, I do the grocery shopping, and we each have about half the utilities in our names).  Lately, though, he hadn’t been following up with me for those dinners and things.

The week of my birthday, he was a little short of cash and had asked about postponing some expense, I don’t remember exactly.  Then I asked him whether he’d been financially okay to pay for all our our recent entertainment expenses.  He said yes and that he’d actually been making a conscious effort to pay for more things because I do so many of the household chores.

I had no idea!  He said that since he doesn’t have the time to help around the house and I end up doing pretty much everything he thought that he should be more conscious to repay me in another way, a strategy I mentioned in a recent post.  I double-checked that he wasn’t going to drive himself into bankruptcy trying to be nice to me for doing the laundry, and he said to just sit back and enjoy the things that he enjoyed doing for me.  Awesome.

But hey!  Does that make me a prostitute?

What do you enjoy doing for others?  Leave a comment below, and then check out these fine posts:

  • http://hammer86blog.com Hammer

    Weird. I feel entitled to that kind of treatment from women and don’t feel guilty about it at all. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
    .-= Hammer´s last blog …Day Game is Fucking Easy… =-.

  • http://casualencounters.com/blog/ Janak

    Man, Jake reminds me so horribly of myself. Though I probably WOULD drive myself into bankruptcy trying to be nice to someone for doing the laundry. Or dishes. Because laundry and dishes SUCK, dude!
    .-= Janak´s last blog …Weekly Roundup – Top 10 Casual Sex Links from Around the Web =-.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    @ Hammer, If you are still looking for a LTR, then I agree with you – you have to screen to find someone that is amazing. Once you’re in a committed relationship and live together, I don’t think it’s a bad relationship strategy to show (and tell) the person that you love more than anything that you feel that way.

    @ Janak, I hear you. However, my standards for a clean house mean that I would rather do it than not do it…
    .-= Honey´s last blog …Love Style “Gifts”: How I Became A Kept Woman =-.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    I suck at giving gifts to women simply because it doesn’t move me. I feel almost nothing when giving a gift, and I feel slightly embarrassed when receiving them. Would far rather spend QT or do acts of service.

    Interestingly, I was hanging out with two male coaching colleagues of mine who are both broke and I ended up buying us drinks and cheap food throughout most of the day on Saturday as we hung out for college football. These guys are flat broke, so I felt obligated to do it since I’m gainfully employed, but it made me feel pretty cool to treat these guys, like I was a father figure or a “patron.”
    .-= Lance´s last blog …Love Style “Gifts”: How I Became A Kept Woman =-.

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    It makes you traditional. Some men love providing and caring for a woman as much as some women love getting gifts and taken care of.
    .-= dadshouse´s last blog …Why Does Life Have To Be Planned? =-.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    @ Lance and dadshouse, I think it depends on some of the other preferences. Jake perceives my doing the household chores as a service to him, but actually I am an obsessive-compulsive Virgo who can’t stand not to be in a clean house. There is more volume because we’re two people, but really I’m not doing anything I wouldn’t do if I lived alone. Since I’m the one with high standards, I do it.

    Similarly, Jake really loves to go out – I do too, but it’s more important to him. Since it’s more important to him, and since he makes more money than I do, he’s happy to pay.

    In the end, we’re just recognizing that we don’t have to do the same things as each other to both feel taken care of in the relationship.
    .-= Honey´s last blog …Recent (and Future) Windfalls =-.

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