Weekend Roundup: Douchebaguette Edition

Welcome welcome welcome! This week’s roundup of cool/fun/titillating/provocative/f’ed up links is dedicated to all the douchebaguette’s out there. A douchebaguette: Crazy, needy, moronic, drunk, excessive party girl, perhaps overly silly, little inner life, often times hot. Hey, I would still do one…but Christ, what a pain. See this video.

What happens when the woman proposes, a witty and cheekily written article by Steve Beale, from the UK Times Online. Excellent. Funny. I wasn’t aware that women proposing to men was a legit threat trend, but here you have it. Teaser quote:

When it comes to matters of the heart I’m a complete coward. As are most men. The most successful cowards operate by avoiding terrifying situations - such as being proposed to - before they even arise. So here are some sure-fire ways to avoid today’s doomsday scenario.

Beale goes on to argue that all proposals are, in reality, manipulated and induced by the female partner. Since I strongly believe in the existence of female mind control, that is, a women’s ability to control a man’s mind via suggestive rhetoric and body language, I have to agree with the author’s conclusion. Check it out.

Next up is The Importance of Mutual Value Escalation, a long post by a blogger and PUA who goes by the pen name 30+. I’m going to make a big statement here: this is the single best post on social dynamics I HAVE EVER READ. Pure gold. His argument is well structured, clear, fully unpacked, and includes good examples. I believe the concept of mutual value escalation comes from other sources, but 30+ really nails it. Quote:

MVE works best with two people who are both pretty secure and confident, at root, in their own individual awesomeness. In that situation, mutual value escalation is the path of least resistance, since both people are willing to acknowledge their own value, appreciative of others’ drawing attention to it, and usually pretty interested in synergies, that is, the gains in awesomeness that come from putting two awesome things together (like peanut butter and M&M’s, for example).

Two essays from Craigslist that are badass. The first is from a chick, definitely not a douchebaguette, who rants for manlier men and how sometimes a women just wants to get properly…fucked. Essay is entitled Just fucking fuck me, already. Brilliant. I love it. Sister, if you’re reading this and looking for a righteous donking, email me. Quote:

1. Taking charge is not bad. Oh, there will be some women who feel that you are pushy. If you are making out with a woman, and she starts to push back, ask nicely if things are moving too fast. If she says yes, say something like “I’m sorry - you just look so fucking delicious. I’ll go slower.” Otherwise, skillfully move forward. If you start kissing a woman, and she responds well, and before long, you’re both on the floor with her skirt pushed up, and you on top of her, it’s not the time to roll onto your back and start awkwardly stroking the top of her head. Seriously, grow a goddamn pair. YOU’RE the man. Act like one.

Honey turned me on to this piece, It’s me! Every girl ever, probably written by a dude, but from the perspective of a serious douchebaguette. It’s sarcastic as fuck, a little scary, and will cause you to titter. Guys, have you ever dated a chick like this? Uh, answer is yes. This is what you get with a very hot chick who has no game.

Last but not least is the The Art of Manliness, a blog dedicated to “uncovering the lost art of being a man.” Site features several channels (a man’s life, health and grooming, etc) with plenty of articles. I surveyed 5-6 articles, and while some of the stuff was too mainstream for me, there’s plenty of value here. Try Talk Like Frank Sinatra or How to Survive a Bear Attack.

Have a great weekend! Don’t be a fucking douchebag, and if you’re a chick, don’t get so wasted you fall into the toilet