Lance De-Virginizing Service

“Ladies, Do You Want Your First Time To Be Special? Want to Have Intimacy, Be Treated Like You Deserve, and Have FABULOUS Sex Right Out Of The Gate?”

Hi, it’s Lance here. Ladies, I know how scary the first time can be. We’ve all read the horror stories and crazy-losing-one’s virginity stories that are out there. The stories about getting busted by the cops in the back seat of your boyfriend’s dad’s car while parked in the parking lot of Wal-Mart. About having your mom walk in you while you’re giving your bf his first hummer. Or, just flat-out how lousy, short, and painful the first time can be.

And, what’s worse, for most woman the first time is totally forgettable, and sometimes even regrettable. I know how much it can totally suck.

I feel your pain. I really do.

I’ve reached the point in my life where I’ve become a sexual master, but more importantly, I’m a man among boys, and I know EXACTLY how to treat a woman during her first time. I know how to fulfill her needs and wants. Even more, I know what she DESIRES.

Itโ€™s not my style to brag a lot or tell stories, but the fact is that I have had relationships with some pretty amazing women over the last several years, and I’ve learned many things from these women. One of the most important things I’ve learned is how to treat a woman in the bedroom, and I’m not just talking technique and screaming orgasms here.

What I’m talking about is meeting her emotional needs when it comes to sex. What I’m talking about is intimacy. What I’m talking about is affection, fulfillment, safety, and that all-important emotion of LOVE.

“If You’re Ready For Your First Time To Be Extra Special, If You’re Ready For An UnForgettable Experience That You Won’t Regret, You’re Ready For Lance.”

Ladies, let me ask you a few more questions:

  • Are you a good girl ready to lose her v-card, but don’t want to lose it to your boyfriend because you’re afraid he will lose interest in you after you “give it up”?
  • Are you secretly a bad girl who needs to (finally) get laid but you don’t want to sleep with any of the guys in the frat house across the street because they all smell like Pabst Blue Ribbon and Axe and they’ll call you a slut if you sleep with any of them?
  • Are you “plus sized” and can’t find a nice boyfriend to pluck your rose because they can’t appreciate you for who you are and see your inner beauty?
  • Is your boyfriend putting pressure on you to have sex with him and you know you’re not right for each other?
  • Are you concerned about having safe sex with a healthy partner and you just can’t trust any of the guys you meet in the bars?
  • Is your boyfriend a great guy, but he’s kind of shaped like a blob of dough and you just know he’s going to be terrible in bed?
  • Are you attracted only to older guys, but you’re afraid to date them because then you’ll be judged by your friends and family?
  • Are you afraid your first time won’t be extra special and it might be a mediocre experience with a complete loser?

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, then I have some important news for you…

You are not alone, and in fact there are millions of young women out there who are asking the same questions. And you know what, most of them are giving in, caving, settling, and having a terrible experience for their first time. Ask almost anyone, ask your friends, ask your co-workers, what was their first time like?

9 times out of 10, they’ll say the first time was awful, lame, not special, forgettable, and sometimes regrettable.

“This Doesn’t Have To Be You.”

That’s right, it absolutely doesn’t have to be you. Your first time can be extra special, totally intimate, and the experience that you dreamed about, read about, and saw in the movies.

Your first time should be special.

It should feel good.

It should make you feel like a woman.

It should be completely safe, healthy, and discreet.

You should enjoy it.

You should remember it.

You’re super special and you deserve it.

“Are you Ready?”

Here’s what you get with the Lance De-Virginizing Service.

  • A partner that you chose.
  • A partner you’re comfortable with.
  • A partner that is completely safe, healthy, and disease free, with all accompanying paperwork to prove it.
  • A person who won’t judge you.
  • A partner who finds you attractive and wants to make your first time as special as possible.
  • A person who wants your first time to be all about you, because it should be.
  • A person who will treat you right, before, during, and after.
  • A proven system that guarantees the first time will feel amazing, and not painful.
  • A SEXUAL MASTER who will teach you everything you wanted to know in the bedroom but were too shy to ask.
  • Guaranteed deep, screaming orgasms.
  • Oral sex that will absolutely blow your mind and curl your toes.
  • The right way to do dirty talk.
  • Intimacy with a partner who cares about you as a person and not as a sex object.
  • Cuddling and more intimacy after the initial act.
  • Followup conversations via phone and email to make sure you’re happy.
  • Complete discretion and confidentiality.
We offer three levels of service to meet your needs. But before you sign up, consider our industry busting offer: With the Lance DeVirginizing Service, you get a 100% money back guarantee. That’s right, I’m so sure you’ll love our service that we’re doing something a little bit crazy.

Try our service, and if you’re not completely satisfied, happy, and pleased with what you’ve received, you get your money back. All of it. Every penny.

I know, it’s totally insane, but I’m so sure your first time with Lance will be super special, that’s we’re making this crazy offer.

Not only that, but we’ll throw in the following items for FREE that have massive value:

  • At least 30 minutes of free compliments: “Wow, you look great in that dress.” “That haircut makes you look like an actress!” – $199 value
  • Free ebook on Unlocking Your Sexual Fantasy – $99 value
  • Free ebook on How To Talk Dirty – $79 value
  • 5 free minutes of PureIntimacy, our patented system of amazing, ultra connective intimacy – $199 value
  • In-field workshop on How To Give A Great Blowjob, guaranteed to blow your next boyfriend’s mind: “OMG, where did you learn to do that!” – $299 value
  • Free ebook on How To Take The Power Back From Him – $99 value
  • Free ebook on Make Him Treat You Right – $99 value
  • DVD video of the actual act, to memorialize it. (We promise that any video will not be leaked onto the Internet) – $59 value

That’s a $1191 value in FREEBIES even before you choose your package.

Total Discretion Package – $1500

  • Pre-screening and phone interview with Lance
  • Notarized copies of all paperwork and health certifications
  • Drinks or coffee meeting prior to your first time – Limit 2 drinks
  • Excellent, titillating conversation – 60 minutes
  • Meeting at a neutral location, usually a 3 star rated hotel or resort.
  • Foreplay – 30 minutes
  • Lance Secret System of Amazing Sex For First Timers, guaranteed to feel amazing
  • At least two orgasms, one oral, one vaginal
  • Cuddling and holding – 30 minutes
  • PureIntimacy, our patented system, beats all competitors – 10 minutes
  • Followup conversations via phone or email – 60 minutes

Journey Into Intimacy – $2500

  • Pre-screening and phone interview with Lance
  • Dinner at a fancy restaurant and drinks
  • Excellent, titillating conversation – 90 minutes
  • Meeting at a neutral location, usually a 5 star rated hotel or resort.
  • Body massage with oils – 30 minutes
  • Foreplay – 60 minutes
  • Lance System of Amazing Sex For First Timers, guaranteed to feel amazing.
  • 4 orgasms.
  • Cuddling and holding – 45 minutes
  • PureIntimacy, our patented system, beats all competitors – 30 minutes
  • Followup conversations via phone or email – 2 hours

Virgin Goddess – $4000

  • Pre-screening and phone interview with Lance
  • Dinner and drinks at the nicest restaurant in town. Get ready to be wined and dined!
  • Limo service
  • Excellent, titillating conversation – unlimited.
  • Getting whisked away to a neutral location, usually a penthouse suite.
  • Massage with oils – 60 minutes
  • Foreplay – 60 minutes or as much as you can stand!
  • Lance System of Amazing Sex For First Timers, guaranteed to feel amazing.
  • 6-8 orgasms.
  • Cuddling and holding – unlimited
  • PureIntimacy, our patented system, beats all competitors – 45 minutes
  • Morning sex.
  • Followup conversations via phone or email – unlimited

As usual, if you have any questions, just send an email to

If you’re ready to have a powerful, intimate, special and mindblowing first time, just email me and get ready for the experience you won’t soon forget!

Your Friend,


* Must be age 18 or above and female to participate in our programs.

Read What Other Lucky Woman Have Been Raving About

The following testimonials came from actual clients. Names have been changed or shortened to initials for privacy reasons.

Lance, I had a total douchebag boyfriend who constantly pressured me to have sex with him. Well, I didn’t want to because I knew he would start treating me even worse if I did, but I really wanted to lose my vcard, so I tried your service. Thank God I did! The first time with your service was beyond my wildest dreams! I was like in a movie, only much much better. Worth every penny. Thank you so much for making my first time such a memorable experience.

-Debbie, South Carolina

Lance, just wanted to let you know you changed my life. Your virginity service is totally worth it, and I’ll be telling all of my hot little virgin friends. Your workshop on how to give great fellatio alone is worth the price of admission, and OMG I’ve never felt so intimate with someone as I did during our PureIntimacy session. OMG. My only regret is that we can’t do it regularly. Your girlfriend(s) must be sooooo happy!

-M.E., Texas

About me. I’m a vivacious 20-year-old, 5’3, a size 14, and I’ve had a hard time finding a boyfriend. I’m super smart, but guys are so shallow when it comes to looks, and besides that I’m really focused on school. Well, thank goodness I found your service, because it was definitely time for me to ditch my vcard. Your service was totally amazing, safe, and fun, exactly what I needed for a first time. I feel more confident as a woman and, quite honestly, more attractive to the opposite sex now. Guys have been looking at me more because now I have that ‘sexual glow’ if you know what I mean. Thank you so much!

-Ashley, Knoxville, Tennessee

Lance is a sexual GOD. Seriously, he turns your first time into an unforgettable experience, full of romance, drama, and high emotion, just like in a movie or something. It was unbelievable. He made it all about me and I felt totally special afterwords. Ladies, don’t use Lance’s service unless you want to ruin it for all your future boyfriends, who will pale in comparison. The sex and intimacy was earth shattering.

-Tara, Los Angeles

If you’re ready to try the Lance De-Virginizing Service, you might also enjoy these posts:

  • moody.bitch

    Ya know, my first time kinda sucked – can I hire you for a “do over”? :)

  • Eathan

    Where is the Clay Aiken package. haha

    I had to say it..

    I want to read more of the follow up posts on this.

    Eathan´s last blog post…Adventures Of Dirt Bike Boy

  • T

    Oh my! I lost my v-card a long time ago but this deal sounds too good to pass on! Does it count if its been a LOOOOONNNNNNGGGG time? :)

    T´s last blog post…Four

  • Eathan

    Maybe I need to start charging for my refresher nights ๐Ÿ˜€

    Eathan´s last blog post…Adventures Of Dirt Bike Boy

  • Infinity

    In a word…savage.

    Infinity´s last blog post…In a Video for Text 2 Land Technology and Perkett PR

  • Evil Woobie

    Attractive package!Send me a banner and I’ll help you promote your business! ๐Ÿ˜€
    (Can backdoor-virgins qualify for your service?)

    Evil Woobie´s last blog post…We Made it! Philippines Top 100 Blog List for 2008!

  • The Dateable Dork


    Where were you when I was losing my vcard to my frat house boyfriend? They didn’t have Axe back then, but still.

  • Hot Alpha Female

    LMAO ….

    This is one hell of a sales letter …

    Hot Alpha Female´s last blog post…The Live Hot Alpha Female Interview

  • Hammer

    lol bud, awesome post, but you spent waaaaayyyyy too much time writing this. It will be totally worth it if anyone bites though. I’m assuming those prices are negotiable?

    Hammer´s last blog post…YouMail, I Geek

  • NewWrldYankee

    Yes, Hammer, my guess is the HOTTer the girl, the cheaper the prices get. Special discounts, lol

    Absolutely brilliant, btw. Seriously. Nuff said.

    NewWrldYankee´s last blog post…Blog Action Day 2008 Poverty & Blog Talk Radio

  • Lance

    Too much time? I’m totally serious here ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Brad

    Dude… you forgot something…

    How in the world could you forget about adding in “The Shocker” as a bonus.

    Oh, and you need red (#CC0000) headlines… lol

    Rookie copywriters… geez.

    Brad´s last blog post…Help! Weโ€™re All Going BROKEโ€ฆ

  • Lance

    I’m sure they smelled like Pabst or Natty Light, tho. Glad to see you still around, DD.

  • CrazySphinx

    Hahaha… Lance you’re hilarious! Some of the PUA “Gurus” out there could use your smarts for a sales letter :p

    CrazySphinx´s last blog post…How I Got My Ice Cream

  • lisaq

    Haha…thanks for making me smile this morning! This is too fabulous! ๐Ÿ˜€

    lisaq´s last blog post…Reader Question- Is There a Right Age to Get Married?

  • Chris

    This is a good idea, Lance. Promote the “business” and offer a special package for the backdoor. You know how that REALLY brings out the complaints when some one gets it wrong the first time.

  • Chris

    Nice, you should have demanded that the frat house BF at least used a premium alochol. For my frat boy days I preferred Sam Adams or Jack Daniels

    I second Lance’s comment, good to see you are still around DD.

  • dadshouse

    Lance De-Virinizing package? $1500
    Not getting busted by your parents? Priceless…

    I love this line: At least 30 minutes of free compliments. Is there an egg-shell time ticking away while you’re telling her she’s hot? Nah, you’re probably way more discreet. Too funny!

    Hey, as an added bonus, you could videotape the session, hold the tape in lockdown, then when/if the woman ever gets famous, sell the tape to the National Enquirer or TMZ, and make a ton. And for a small fee now, she can be guaranteed half of that payout when it comes!

    dadshouse´s last blog post…Free-Range Kids

  • Lance

    That’s a great idea! There’s probably a bumper industry in virgin videos…if someone gets famous, $1M isn’t out of the question. I recall Girls Gone Wild offered Ashley Dupre that exact amount for a sex video, that is until they realized they already HAD a sex video of her.

  • Nadine

    My first time did NOT suck. Granted, it was not the best time, but that didn’t matter – it was with the right guy, who was affectionate, caring and did his best, which was really not that bad, since it was his first time, too.
    Plus, we had a lot of times afterwards.

  • Holly Hoffman

    Shit, how long do I have to wait to become re-virginized? A year? Sounds worth it just for the 30 minutes of cuddling!

    Holly Hoffman´s last blog post…My life coach rocks

  • Kat Wilder

    OMG, Lance,
    You mean I actually lost my virginity to you and not my pony-tailed bf Vinnie back in 9th grade? How’d you slip into my bedroom unnoticed ….?

    Kat Wilder´s last blog post…Let’s play master and servant

  • The Virgin

    You should hire Mike Long to do your marketing. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    The Virgin´s last blog post…The Pickup Artist Season 2: Episode One