Cool Email Game + Date Setup With Kitty

Are you fucking with me? I met this chick online and her last name is Lance. Seriously. Is that a sign or something? She’s also a Leo, and Leos get along swimmingly well with Geminis. Go read any love astrology site. Back in the day, I had this one gf who was a Leo and let me tell you, the sex was off the hook. But, I digress. The new girl’s first name is Kitty. Kitty Lance. I told her her name sounded like a porn star name, and her response was, “Yeah, I get that a lot.” I think we’ll get along pretty well.

I’ve been running some good email+text+phone game on Kitty and I’ve got a day 1 set up with her for tonight. My plan is to have us meet at my fav spot, the Vietnamese restaurant, for drinks. There’s a free concert downtown, so I’ll bounce us to that for a bit. I also discovered a great rooftop martini bar that I think we’ll stop at. Should be a fucking blast. My goal is to go for a makeout close.

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Okay, here’s how it went down tactically.

First off, her profile headline was, “Lie About How We First Met.” That caught my eye, and if you’re a chick, you should steal it because you’ll get cool responses from guys. In fact, this is a nice little screening tool. The better the response, the higher caliber of guy.

I wrote this awesome fiction about how I was running the Boston Marathon and she almost ran me over with her car, then she gave me these fresh blueberry muffins as an apology, and how she wrote her digits on my hand before I took off running. I threw in a lot of fun adjectives and hyperbole. Her profile said she liked running and dessert, so I figured the Boston Marathon and muffins would strike a chord. It did. She emailed back almost immediately with how that was the best response she’s ever gotten. Pretty slick, huh?

If you’re a dude doing the online thing, try making up a funny story about how you first met the girl, then send it to her as your opener. Doesn’t matter what her headline says, just jump into it:

“Okay, this is what we’re going to tell people about how we met. Blah blah blah.”

Make sure it’s amusing, clever, and embeds stuff from her profile. Go over the top. If she’s got half a brain she’ll respond.

Also, I lifted a great subject header from JLAIX. My subject line alternates between one of these three:

  1. I’m a douchbag, will you be my friend?
  2. I’m a dork, will you be my friend?
  3. I’m a nerd, will you be my friend?

Calibrate to her profile. If she strikes you as a party girl, try the douchebag line. If she looks like she was a nerd in high school, try that one. It’ll resonate. I’ve had a good initial response so far, although it’s not extensively tested.

Remember how last week I royally choded it up and apologized for my job with Artsy Chick, when in actuality I’m really passionate about it? Well, I fixed that and emailed Kitty a long para on how passionate I was about what I do. It worked. She said my passion was evident and that it was an attractive trait. I asked for the meetup in the same email and she agreed. She then sent me her phone number. I strengthened the connection later in the day with a bit of text game:

ya know, gems and leos are supposed to get along great

She texted back with, “I know. give me a call this evening.” I did, and we had a relatively normal conversation. I teased her a bit and told two of my trusty stories, ones that demostrate high value and also elicit laughs. Convo lasted about 20′.

I’ll flirt, tease, run compliance, escalate, and hopefully get the girl. Full report tomorrow…

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    “Okay, this is what we’re going to tell people about how we met. Blah blah blah.” – that’s brilliant. Love it.

    Question – how much do you rely on online dating vs. approaching women in public? I’ve had great success with online dating for meeting women, and lousy luck with it for those becoming girlfriends I date. I’m sort of on an I hate online dating kick and am refusing to use it, but now I’m not meeting anyone. (Not many places where I live that a 40-something guy can meet single women.) Wondering how others do it.

    dadshouse’s last blog post..Birds, Bees, and Axe Body Spray

  • http://honeyandlance.com/contact Lance

    Yeah, honestly I’m an online dating hater. I swore off online dating in January and de-activated my account until a couple of weeks ago. I got so busy that I didn’t have the energy/time to go out and pickup in field. My experience is that most online chicks are looking for a serious BF or marriage, and their standards are impossibly high. Plus, there are very few truly hot women on there. Doesn’t jive with me. They’re also getting flooded with hundreds of emails from chodes, so it’s hard to get through the white noise sometimes.

    You’re in tough spot…if you live in an area where there are no singles, online dating might be your only choice. Keep playing the numbers. If you get 1-2 nights per week where you can go out on the town, go to SF and hit a few bars and strike up conversations. That would be my strategy.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    I did the online thing for 4.5 years and never had anything that lasted longer than a couple of months–either one person or the other wasn’t into it. I think it’s because, as Lance says, the fact that there are so many people on there makes standards rise accordingly (and unrealistically).

    As a girl who’d just moved to a new city, though, it was a great way to save money and learn all the great new restaurants. Every time a guy wanted to take me out I’d say, take me to your favorite place. Awesome–I got the layout of the city as well as tasty new places to eat.

    While I didn’t end up with someone off a dating site, my boyfriend and I DID meet on myspace, so it can happen. And regardless, I don’t consider my time on the dating site a waste. I learned a tremendous amount about myself and what I wanted very quickly. If I’d done the traditional thing then I’d either have meet no one or been in LTRs with total losers and spent twice as long learning half as much.

    On a totally different note, Kitty is the lamest REAL name ever. As a pet name? Sure–my boyfriend calls me that all the time. But as your ACTUAL name?

    Oh, who am I kidding. I’m named after bee regurgitation.

    Honey’s last blog post..Cool Email Game + Date Setup With Kitty

  • http://www.worklovelife.com Holly Hoffman

    Nicely played. I’m impressed by the game plan, and wish any of my dating site dates had done half so much. Maybe I would’ve been a little more inclined toward smooch action (or any action for that matter) if they had. For the most part, they’ve all asked me to pick the place, which is fine. But realize that I’ve been on four dates in the past week. I’m just asking for a little effort here, fellas.

    I’ve only been online dating for a few weeks now, but I have the same complaint toward guys online – they all seem to be looking for a relationship. I just want to date. All the guys I’ve seen have these profiles about looking for The One, how they are maritally-inclined and all want a specific number of kids. Are you kidding me? Is there not a man out there with the balls to at least put “not sure” under the children category? I have to wonder if guys are putting this stuff because they think that’s what women want. And if so, then they’re blowing it with me, that’s for sure.

    As to cutting through the “white noise” as you call it, it sounds like you’ve got it licked. All I want is a little creativity. More than just a f*ing wink or “hey what’s up”. That’s it? You’re so interesting that’s all you need? Delete.

    Good luck on the makeout close. I have a rule with Internet dating and intimacy: 1st date, no action period; 2nd date, smooching if you pass; and 3rd, well…

    Holly Hoffman’s last blog post..Optimize Your Space for Maximum Productivity – And Happiness

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    Holly, I feel your pain. I just wanted to date, too (though always open to more if it happened), so in retrospect perhaps I was cruel and opportunistic in my dates. I used to tell people there were two kinds of guys online: those who wanted to have sex tonight(the winks and one-line e-mail guys) and those who want to get married tomorrow.

    I never responded to winks and refused to let things progress to the phone-call stage if the guy used IM shortcuts instead of typing real words and/or refused to write at least one decently long paragraph. It either meant they weren’t trying or weren’t capable of more, and neither of those things is attractive to me.

    However, the guys who put any effort in and wrote thoughtful, funny notes were also the guys who said things like “I think I’m falling for you” on the third date. Ick. Perhaps you can find a way to insert your desire for something casual into your profile in a fun, playful way that won’t attack anyone’s life choices but will serve as an effective screening tool?

    Honey’s last blog post..Cool Email Game + Date Setup With Kitty

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    Silly Virgos. Kitty is clearly NOT her real first name. It would be too hazardous for me to publish that.

    Lance’s last blog post..Cool Email Game + Date Setup With Kitty

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    Holly, you’re the bomb. If you’re in OTown this summer hit me up. I’ll take you out and teach you to run game. Then I’ll try to makeout with you on the first date.

    Lance’s last blog post..Cool Email Game + Date Setup With Kitty

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    Silly Gems, of course I know that it’s not her real name :-) I was making fun of you. And me, a little. In case you didn’t know, Honey may or may not be my real name…

    Honey’s last blog post..Cool Email Game + Date Setup With Kitty

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