Comments on: Keeping it Real vs. Playing the Game

By: Tanay

Tanay — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:44:46 +0000

You did a great job in getting the right balance between head and emotion.It was as if everything was tailormade for you but the scenarios that match your case hardly matches for others.Moreover all the girls would mind visiting boyfriend's house on the first day.But its worth a dating tip for the newbies.

By: Honey

Honey — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:37:03 +0000

Haha, you’re right about the hypocritical thing, Holly. I got drunk (though not bombed) and had unprotected sex on my first date with Jake!

But some of it isn’t hypocrisy, it’s being in a different place. When I was in my early 20s, I did that kind of stuff (get drunk, have unprotected sex). Now that I’m in my 30s and have my head on straight(er), I just don’t think I could be the person I was back then. And I think that’s a good thing.

Personally, if I were single again I’d rather wait 3 months, get tested, and have sex without a condom than I would to jump into bed with a guy…
Honey´s last blog …Keeping it Real vs. Playing the Game

By: Holly Hoffman

Holly Hoffman — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:06:40 +0000

My initial instinct as single female is to say no to any meeting where if something did happen, everyone would say it was my own fault for putting myself in that situation.

But I wouldn’t call you a douchebag for thinking it should be OK.

The irony is that most of those women on that forum have probably gotten drunk & gone home with a guy the first night they met & had unprotected sex with him. So, it’s a little hypocritical, isn’t it?

With that much background info on you & the work connection, she should be able to meet you at your place as long as she uses some sense – tell a friend what she’s doing & where your place is, and to expect a text an hour in & when she’s leaving. If you don’t hear from me, then do X.

But c’mon, ladies. You’ll sleep with someone the first night you meet them in a bar, but won’t go to a vetted guy’s house for dinner?
Holly Hoffman´s last blog …Start from here

By: ozgirlkim

ozgirlkim — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 05:40:53 +0000

He is 32. I am 30.

And hell yes I expect more from a 32yo.

It is is not a being nice thing they actually admit they have no idea ’so why don’t you choose’ BORING!

BTW I also love Honey’s Farmers Market idea. Meet for coffee/breakfast there (ours do great breakfast rolls and stuff) and then say oh look at this it would be great on my grill would you like to come over for dinner/lunch later.

Also when asking the girl over for dinner how about suggesting she get a friend to call twice during the night to ‘check in’. It can be a blatant phone call ‘Hi how’s it going?” Good, thanks for calling’ hang up scenario. May ease her fears, and most girls have a back up phone caller anyway. May as well be out in the open about it.

By: Lance

Lance — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:43:42 +0000

How old is the guy? It’s pretty common for younger guys (and wussy guys) to be indecisive when making plans. The thinking is that if they’re super nice, ie let her “help” decide the plans, it’ll be more attractive. But it’s not. Generally, women want decisiveness on their first dates. They want the guy to have a plan. I was that wussy guy when I was 20.
Lance´s last blog …Keeping it Real vs. Playing the Game

By: Honey

Honey — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 20:12:45 +0000

Well when I thought of the farmer’s market I was thinking of buying all the fresh food to make a great dinner…I think buying it with him in public might have made the girl more likely to go home with him and help cook it!

It’s not all men – Jake likes shopping way more than I do…
Honey´s last blog …Keeping it Real vs. Playing the Game

By: dadshouse

dadshouse — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:47:12 +0000

I love Honey’s suggestions – don’t sit; do something that stimulates conversation. Most of her ideas are great. But I don’t like the Farmer’s Market idea – men hate shopping! At least I do. I can’t imagine shopping or browsing on a date. Paddle boats are a little sketchy too – if the conversation sucks, you’re stuck.

Museums are GREAT for dates. So are botanical gardens, used book stores, and Friday art shows (decidedly different than a weekend art festival, in my mind.) Things that bring out your personality are fabulous ideas.
dadshouse´s last blog …Drunk Texting Marriage Proposal

By: ozgirlkim

ozgirlkim — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:10:55 +0000

I have been thinking about this a lot more, maybe because I am in the situation where I am going on a date with a guy who I met on rsvp but he works at a place where a bunch of my mates (note more than one) so v similar to your scenario. He wants to meet at a bar at 8 on Friday. He doesn’t know where to suggest and so asks me… And thats just annoying… You asjed me out buddy. You choose the time and the date, so use choose suitable venue!

It is hard to find a bar in a major city the isn’t over populated on a Friday night and frankly the other thing is that I just wish a man would just harden up and be ballsy and say ‘let’s do this, this and this’. I would swoon if a guy could just man up and be organised, which is why your dinner at home idea appeals to me Lance.

This happens more times than I can count. I am sick of having to make all the plans… There is a certain amount of sexy in being told what to do.

Is this a useless aussie male thing or do others have this prob?

By: Me Thinks

Me Thinks — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 05:31:41 +0000

Honey, I *love* your suggestions! Exactly stuff I was thinking about. (btw, hit me up if you become single!) Even going to gallery opening night is an amazing way to connect.

In all seriousness, Lance you are not understanding:

The sense I get from Me Thinks and Kat Wilder and others is that first dates shouldn’t be that intimate. There should be no touching. No deep connections. I disagree.

NO! My best first dates have been ones with some kind of touching and real connection. But just because a stranger cooks you a meal doesn’t mean you are connecting. Hell, the best initial connection ever for me ended up AT A BAR. You never know…

By: Sara

Sara — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:34:28 +0000

OK, the background in this post clarifies a lot. It’s totally different than a date with someone you’ve met online and have no friends in common with or any additional info that would make someone more comfortable. I would have definitely gone to dinner at the guy’s house under these circumstances.