About the Author

Lance is an aspiring social artist based in Central Florida. His goal is to be a kickass dude, meet cool people, and generally dominate at life. He enjoys sports, surfing, socializing, reading and writing. You can contact Lance via email here or online here.

Ugh! I Royally Screwed The Pooch With Kitty

Someone shoot me in the face. I royally jackassed up with the new Leo.

Here’s what happened. Kitty and I had settled on a date for Saturday night. We made these arrangements the day after our first date completely via text, and I knew it was on. Basically, the tone of the texts was pretty sexual, and as long as I didn’t fuck up horribly we were going to get into some intense monkey sex after our date. She wanted it and, obviously, I wanted it too.

Well, on Saturday I already had plans with my peeps to go to this outdoor concert in the afternoon. People, what do you do at outdoor concerts? That’s right, you sit around and get balls drunk. That’s what we did. I drank 5-6 of those tallboy Bud Lights and got pretty lit, although not completely hammered. One of my friends got so smashed she passed out in the grass, and my other friends got drunk too. We had an great time. BTW, I wandered around for a bit and opened random sets of girls, but got blown out every time. Oh well!

It’s worth noting here that Kitty knew I was at a concert and that I was partying.

The concert ended. I corralled my drunkass friends back to my car and drove everyone home. Believe it or not, I was the least drunk of the crew and I was actually totally fine by the time we left the venue. I stopped at Taco Bell, got a quesadilla, ate it, went home, laid down to take a nap. This was around 7:00 pm. I hadn’t called Kitty yet, but I figured I would do so after a 45′ nap.

I didn’t wake up until 11 fucking o’clock. Holy shit. I’d completely missed my window with Kitty. There were two texts and one missed call on my phone from her, and the second text said, “You know I’ve never been stood up before.” COCKANDBALLS. FUCKMEINTHEFIVEHOLE. MASSIVEBUKAKI. I called and got her vmail. I sent her a highly apologetic text that explained what happened. We exchanged texts for a few minutes and she said she was going to bed. The tone was fairly pissy and I apologized up the wazoo. I felt like a major douchebag superstar.

My Plan

I’d handicap it at 35% that she decides I’m a legit douchebag and decides not to see me again. I didn’t completely screw her over, but if there’s one thing I know about Leos, it’s that they hate getting stood up. Seriously. That’s like the cardinal sin with these girls. It’s the equivalent of shooting their dogs or fucking their mothers or something.

So my plan is this. Any feedback, particularly from Leo women, would be much appreciated. I’m going to try a bit of text or email game and see if I can get a meetup set for Sunday. This probably sounds really needy to my pimpz out there, but the fact is she’s hot, she’s doing the online dating thing, and she’s probably getting 100 emails a day from lawyer douchebags wanting to buy her dinner. If I don’t strike while the iron is hot, I’m assuredly fucked. If I blow it, oh well, more experience in the bank.

The key is to keep my game playful but strong. I’ll try a text like this:

Can I see you today? I want to kiss and make up.

If I can get her out, I’ll try to escalate as rapidly as possible and move to an f-close. And I mean today, this afternoon if possible. Basically, I want to frame it as I’m wild with lust for her and want to donk her to make up for my earlier transgression (credit Ciaran’s Shock and Awe for this idea). Almost like moving towards makeup sex, even though we just met. I think this will work on a Leo, but damn, who knows.

This will either blow up in my face horribly or work amazingly well. There will be no in-between. Morituri te salutant, bitchez.

Gladiator Salute

  • http://www.worklovelife.com Holly Hoffman

    If it had happened to me, I would write you off. However, it sounds like you might salvage it. Given the right combination of words and sincere apology plus the enticement of making it worth my while, I might let it slide. Curious to find out how this one goes…

    Holly Hoffman’s last blog post..Me & the Great Online Dating Experiment

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    The BF and I agreed that while this might be something you might be able to salvage if you were looking for a relationship, it is less salvageable if you want something more casual. That is, we could imagine it being the thing you laugh about her with 2 years from now but not the thing that we could imagine making her have sex with you the next day. Looking forward to hearing more…

    Honey’s last blog post..Ugh! I Royally Screwed The Pooch With Kitty

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    I’m with Honey, it will be tough to run game on this girl after missing your date. (I cracked up reading about your concert, btw. Oh my… )

    I’m a Leo, and I HATE when someone stands me up, but I’m also very forgiving if they kiss my ass.

    My suggestion, bend over and pucker up to this chick…

    dadshouse’s last blog post..Um, Good Morning, America?

  • Spontaneous

    Lance,
    You have to really make it up to her in a very obvious way. You have to “pay her back” so to speak. And currency with women is time (incidentally, for men it’s sex). You have to spend quality, sober, non-naked time with her. You have to be apologetic, but only upon first seeing her. Don’t go overboard, you made a simple mistake and you’re not spineless so one, honest apology is enough. Spend the day with her making her the guest of honor. At the end of the date do not try to advance physically. If it’s obvious she wants to hook up, then do so, but if she’s still “testing you”, then end the date and be sure the next one is a normal date where physical contact is implied. I’m not a leo, or a woman, but I have pissed a lot of women off so I have a tremendous amount of practice in this area.

    Spontaneous

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