About the Author

Lance is an aspiring social artist based in Central Florida. His goal is to be a kickass dude, meet cool people, and generally dominate at life. He enjoys sports, surfing, socializing, reading and writing. You can contact Lance via email here or online here.

I Met My Future Ex-Girlfriend At A Pool Party This Weekend

By on Aug 3, 2009 in Field Report

Got drunk as a skunk on Friday night, accidentally slept with my ex-girlfriend (oopsie!). She dropped her iPhone in the toilet. Twice. Now it’s sitting in a bowl of rice, not working.

Went to a pool party on Saturday, played flip cup, had extremely hot sweaty sex in backseat of car, again with ex-gf. Then met super awesome girl who is tall and nerdy. Declared undying love, I made her speak dirty to me in French, tried to take her home, didn’t work, got phone number instead. She has beautiful brown eyes. I love her. My friend got really drunk and screamed the word “fagina” at everything that moved.

Teri is back home. Can’t wait to see her, too.

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  • http://www.idatewhite.com Eathan

    In some strange and twisted way..I like this post style. Short sweet and covered the bases.
    Of course, I’m left with a few questions to fill in the blanks. But if your memory works like mine when I drink.. you don’t remember shyt. haha..

    Nice job.
    .-= Eathan´s last blog …The Swirl Cockblock =-.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    Eathen, I tried writing a full weekend field report and it was going on like 3000 words…so I figured screw it, I’ll just put the bullet points up there.

    UpDate: the tall nerdy girl emailed and wants to hang this week!
    .-= Lance´s last blog …I Met My Future Ex-Girlfriend At A Pool Party This Weekend =-.

  • http://casualencounters.com/blog/ Janak

    1) What is “flip cup”?

    2) Taller than you?
    .-= Janak´s last blog …Weekly Roundup – Top 10 Casual Sex Links from Around the Web =-.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    Was it our mutual friend, Lance? I can totally imagine him screaming that at people :-)
    .-= Honey´s last blog …I Met My Future Ex-Girlfriend At A Pool Party This Weekend =-.

  • http://www.girlwithnoname.com Girlwithnoname (Jackie)

    you’re a total slut!!

    haha.

    good for you.

    GWNN
    .-= Girlwithnoname (Jackie)´s last blog …Pushups With Kids =-.

  • http://www.drunkjaysfans.com Mark

    I used to really like your posts. I did. I especially liked the ones about game and describing dates because they really had some good stuff in there. You are a few years older than me so any knowledge about those things really goes a long way. Anyways, I liked it better when you were writing about things that were helpful and meaningful. DONT GET LAZZZZYYYYY BUDDDDY!

    subscriber

    p.s. honey, so whats the deal with corn nuts..? It’s like , are they corn or are they nuts? MAKE UP YOUR MIND!? Know what I mean? (please like me)

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    Indeed it was. You know the very person.
    .-= Lance´s last blog …I Met My Future Ex-Girlfriend At A Pool Party This Weekend =-.

  • Mr_Right

    I love the phrase “My future ex-girlfriend.”

    I was at a blues club in Chicago, Kingston Mines, and Charlie Love was playing, and before one of the songs, he was like, “I’d like to dedicate this next song to my future ex-wife.”

    The crowd loved it!

    Good stuff.

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    You wrote this drunk as a skunk, didn’t you! Haha.

    Here’s a somewhat related story: My kids and I were trying to get into a Mexican restaurant for Cinco de Mayo. The wait was forever. One big group was drinking margaritas like crazy (recipe: http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/08/04/best-margarita-recipe/ ) and they would not give up their table. Finally, I needed the restroom, and wouldn’t you know – one of the drunks from that table beat me to it. It was a one-seater, and I waited forever for him to come out.

    When he exited the restroom, he held up a soggy cell phone. “It fell in the toilet,” he said.

    Hahahahahahahahaha. Serves the f*cker right!
    .-= dadshouse´s last blog …Jon and Kate – CNN Update =-.

  • http://www.used-tire.net used tires

    @Janak Flip cup is a drinking game.

    Till then,

    Jean