About the Author

Honey's main interests are online dating, long distance dating, and long term relationships. She met her boyfriend on MySpace and they have been exclusive since their first date over three years ago. Currently they live in Tempe, Arizona. Honey graduated with her PhD in Composition and Rhetoric in May 2009. You can contact Honey via email here or online here.

I Have Nice Tits

So this week the BF and I went to Prescott for 3.5 days (he had to go for work and since I start my new job tomorrow I figured this would be the last chance I’d have to get away…and Prescott is about 20-25 degrees cooler than Phoenix so it was a nice getaway).  I had a great time!  The BF was off working during business hours but I got to hang out with him at night (he was really glad I was there, I guess his work was pretty tedious during the day and he didn’t want to be alone at night), and during the day explore the town and do my own thing.

Thursday was the most notable day.  I had dropped him off at work and had the car, and among other things (tasty lunch, hiking a trail that’s literally in the middle of downtown, and visiting some antique stores), I went to Bucky’s Casino to kill some time playing slots.  I was thrilled when I found a really fun game called Milk Money (the bonus round is when you pick a cow to milk and the cow does a sexy dance in the milking vat, which after a couple of beers was just hilarious to watch).  I was also doing pretty well at the game and not losing any money, which was great.

Then this old guy (well, not super old, but in his sixties for sure) sits at the machine next to me.  I get this weird vibe like he is checking me out, but I think to myself, he’s probably just old and lonely.  Everyone who lives in Prescott is either a parent with young children or prehistoric, so maybe he doesn’t have any friends.  He asks how I am doing at the game and I say fine.  A few more weird-vibe minutes go by and then he leans over and whispers in my ear, “nice tits.”

Figuring I can’t possibly have heard him correctly, I say, “excuse me?!?”  He yells (much louder), “NICE TITS!!!” I am pretty aghast and can’t really figure out what to do.  It is a tiny casino, I have about 45 minutes to kill before picking up the BF, and I am really enjoying the game I am playing.  I opt for the minimal-response/ignore when possible routine, and make sure to mention I have a boyfriend (usually a technique reserved for skeezy dudes my own age).  His response to that is, “If you didn’t have a boyfriend, maybe we could get together.”  I tell him this would be impossible, and eventually he loses his money and says he is going to another machine.  Thank god.  When he stands up he kind of stands behind me and puts a hand on my shoulder and looks down my tank top and says again, “those tits are really fantastic,” and then leaves.

Is there something better I could have done?  No doubt my original assessment of him being lonely was right on, but that was kind of a disgusting turn of events.  I could have been much ruder but I wasn’t sure what purpose that would serve.  What do you guys think?

  • http://www.worklovelife.com Holly Hoffman

    Ugh, gross. What in holy hell makes old men think they can land women 30-40 years their junior? Your story gives me the creeps just reading it.

    You remained a lot more calm than I would have. I would have left. I don’t know how to handle people who obviously have no sense of right or wrong. No wonder that dude is still alone.

    Funny, it makes me think of all these 20-something clueless guys who might never get it. They think it’s OK to proposition you via text message or email even though you’ve never met.

    Some guys will never get it. Sad. They’ll be the dirty old men of tomorrow.

    Holly Hoffmans last blog post..The immeasurable hidden cost of high gas prices

  • http://www.idatewhite.com Eathan

    hmmm… I can neither confirm or deny that you have nice tits. I’d have to get confirmation from Lance..lol

    But I’m surprised you didn’t call for security or even give him the Austin Powers judo chop! Seems a bit odd that you found a old pervert… which means at one time he was a young pervert. Very Odd experience

  • Me Thinks

    Um… why be polite? The first comment would have yielded something along the lines of a smart-ass “gee thanks, my boyfriend thinks so too!” but if he persisted I would tell him to get the hell out before I complain to security. And if he didn’t quit then I would do just that.

    Some of these creepy old pervs get off on women not standing up to them. Once I was on the crowded subway (like 8am!) and some old dude was staring at me and jerking off, I elbowed the guy next to me, pointed at the perv and said in a really loud voice “that guy is disgusting” and everyone within ear shot turned and looked at him. There was some laughter, he was humiliated, immediately stopped, jumped up and got off (not figuratively) at the next stop.

    So I say, call his ass out. Loudly and embarrass the hell out of him.

  • http://honeyandlance.com/contact Lance

    Agreed with Methinks, call the old perv out on his BS and negatively condition him against doing crap like this to other chicks. I have to admit though, I think it’s pretty funny.

    @Eathan: Honey has a nice rack.

  • http://www.lovingforyourheart.blogspot.com Loving Annie

    What a pig. Holly was right, and so is MeThinks.

  • Anon

    Sexist remarks are as bad as racist ones. Next time, give that bastard a serious tongue-lashing. If you were black or Latina or of another minority population and perv made a racist remark, you’d be in his face with no regret. Perv will continue to harass women if they let him do it. Next time, give a creep a free education.

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    I was in a bar in SF with my girlfriend a few years back. There was a live band and mixed crowd of oldies and younguns. Some old guy walks up to the bar and sidles in next to my girlfriend. Then he pretends to drop something and on the way up he apparently sniffed her – cuz then he leaned over and told her “your pussy smells nice.”

    WTF!

    I nearly clocked the guy. But my girlfriend steered us to another part of the bar.

    I’m guessing she would have dealt with your old geezer the same way – tell him he’s an asshole then head move herself someplace else.

    btw – when I read the title of this post, I thought “Oh, really? Do share!”

    dadshouses last blog post..Rebound Sex Coffee Date

  • http://40ssingleness.blogspot.com/ lisaq

    Yuck! I don’t even know what else to say…except, ewwwwwww!

    lisaqs last blog post..The Dating Without Drama First Date Quiz

  • http://thedateabledork.typepad.com The Dateable Dork

    Hahahaha!!!! Honey, this is totally hilarious! Granted, it’s disgusting and creepy, but it makes for a great story. I probably would have done the same thing you did, because honestly, I would have been so shocked by the rudeness of his comment that my brain would have probably stopped functioning properly. Who says shit like that, seriously???

    Well, at the very least, you can take it as a compliment that you have a nice rack, with Lance’s confirmation, and I assume a whole bunch of nice words from the BF. : )

    The Dateable Dorks last blog post..The douchebag got laid!

  • http://cheekiebacktalk.blogspot.com cheekie

    ah, I don’t expect older men to be any less chodish than younger men.

    funny story, for sure…i have a few of my own, why do some guys think they can say these things? ugh.

    a whistle, a compliment, even something a little naughty is ok, but damn, that comment is just crass.

    cheekies last blog post..What about lighter fluid?

  • http://tsquest.blogspot.com T

    Ha! I had to laugh at this from a totally I-know-exactly-what-you-mean context.

    I understand this vibe completely. The worst is when you sense the vibe but they try to come off as your normal nice guy. Then I’ll get the question, “Can I have a hug too?” when they notice that I hug my other guy friends. Then I just want to go home and shower all the yuck off of me!

    Ts last blog post..Tigger or Eeyore?

  • http://www.idatewhite.com Eathan

    Thanks for the confirmation..I knew I could count on you..lol